Reaching out...

Weight: 144 lbs
Short-term goal: 137 lbs (“Normal” BMI)
Long-term goal: 125 lbs

Total weight to lose: 19 lbs

Friends, I am unmotivated. For the past year my weight loss journey has been full of brief, exciting starts and agonizing stops. I lose the motivation and plateau, I find motivation again and lose one or two pounds (maybe), and then I plateau again, gradually give up, and gain the weight back. I lost 14 lbs initially (May-October 2010), then lost a few more, then plateaued. I have been fighting the same six pounds for a year, and I am giving up on myself. I don’t want this to happen! I need support, which I don’t feel I’m getting at home...but to be honest, I haven’t really been fighting it lately.

I haven’t found the “thing” that works for me. At the beginning of my weight loss journey (in May-July of 2010), I increased the intensity of my workouts and actually increased my calories. The weight did seem to melt off. I felt powerful.

I plateaued in August 2010. Then I went on a backpacking trip in September, and around that time my running also took off. I dropped another several pounds, and I felt even more amazing.

Since early November of 2010, though, things have been different. I lose and gain, lose and gain, stick with it for awhile and then think “I’ve got it”. Before I know it, I’m off track again, eating things I know I shouldn’t way too frequently. Then my exercise goes down the tubes. And the excuses? I have loads of them.

I have not been running enough lately. Yes, I did sprain my ankle two weeks ago, but that’s beside the point. I’m going to start walking my dog more this week, since my ankle is a lot better. Hopefully in another week I’ll be able to add some light jogging into my routine. If not, though, I'll keep doing what I can do, and pick up the running again when my ankle is strong. I have a goal of running a half-marathon in April 2012, so I have something to work towards.

I “tried” watching my carbs. For about a week. It wasn’t really that hard, but I just stopped paying attention. I really wanted to give it a shot, because I think it could help me to focus my goals and keep moving on to that big goal of losing 19 more lbs.

I don’t have a timeline, because I know my body isn’t going to respond the way I want it to to the choices I make. I’m smart enough to know that, but at the same time...it feels like nothing works! But that’s not completely true, because I know it does come down to me and my commitment.

And I am unmotivated.

I have never joined a group on here. It seems as though a lot of you find the strength to keep on by checking in with and supporting each other. I have known since joining MFP that the community here can be a wonderful source of motivation and strength, but I have never really taken advantage of it. I know I have friendship, humor, and even a little wisdom to offer others, but I need help too.

Does anyone know of a group that might be good for me to join? Or other advice or ideas?

Thanks!