How do you deal with the new attention

erinnhamil2n
erinnhamil2n Posts: 28 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
So I feel almost narcissistic even asking this but… I do not know how to deal with the attention I am not getting from the opposite sex. Over the last few weeks I have really noticed a difference in the way men interact with me. I am not sure if it is something I am putting out there or what.
For example a few weeks ago I was out to dinner with my two daughters and our waiter was blatantly hitting on me. I guess I have been out of the game so long I didn’t even realize it until my older daughter pointed it out. Then he went from nice compliments to total creeper. I was really annoyed; I am out to dinner with my children why does this guy think I want him to take away from our time together. (A word of advice for the gentlemen out there, when a lady is out to dinner with her children she is not looking for a date.)
I didn’t think too much about this until this weekend I was out having a drink with a gentleman I recently started talking with. We were out with a few of his friends as well. When he had left to use the restroom his buddy said to me; “would it be inappropriate for me to ask to see you again?” The shock must have shown on my face because he quickly withdrew the request.
When I was over 200 pounds men didn’t notice my existence. I guess I just don’t know how to handle myself in these situations. Has any other ladies encountered this and what did you do? Is it something I am doing?

Replies

  • NA_Willie
    NA_Willie Posts: 340 Member
    How you doin?
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    I thought losing weight would have guys look at me but they dont....Three years ago, I was young and 18 and I was too focused in school so I didnt pay attention to all the guys hitting on me...Now that I am about to graduate college and about to turn 22......Its a different story...No one looks at me lol...And your not doing anything wrong...Your beautiful by the way...Sometimes to us we may not see that guys look at us at any size...but it does become more noticable the more we feel better about ourselves..
  • twinsanity
    twinsanity Posts: 1,757 Member
    Confidence shows! And with weight loss, we are often times more confident about ourselves, how we look and how we present ourselves. That's probably the vibe you're giving off, but it certainly isn't a bad thing. You've worked hard for this new body, and you should be proud. My biggest piece of advice to you would just to be classy and respectful, as I'm sure you already are :smile:, about it. The friend of the guy you were with the other night that took advantage of his friend's departure to hit on you...he's not worth the time anyways. If he had an ounce of class, he'd have gotten in touch with you at a later time. Nothing wrong with his attraction, but delivery sucks. In that situation, just simply say "Thank you for the compliment, but I'm here with _______.", and redirect your attention elsewhere. Hope that helps a little bit.

    Be proud of your accomplishments!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I know what you mean. I feel like such an idiot sometimes because I can't tell if a guy is just being friendly or if he's flirting with me.

    I was in a relationship for 6 years and never paid any attention at all to other guys during that time, so for the past year and a half that I've been single, I've been overanalyzing everything a guy says to me.

    Sometimes, it's obvious that a guy is just hitting on me ... he's staring at my chest, he's standing way too close to me, etc. With those guys, I just make a quick exit. But sometimes I meet a really nice guy who asks lots of questions about me but never obviously flirts with me, and that makes my head hurt because I can't figure it out ... is he just the curious type who likes getting to know people, or is he slowly working his way in?
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    I thought losing weight would have guys look at me but they dont....Three years ago, I was young and 18 and I was too focused in school so I didnt pay attention to all the guys hitting on me...Now that I am about to graduate college and about to turn 22......Its a different story...No one looks at me lol...And your not doing anything wrong...Your beautiful by the way...Sometimes to us we may not see that guys look at us at any size...but it does become more noticable the more we feel better about ourselves..


    Im 21 as well. I would not blame the lack of attention on your age. o_o I get hit on and asked out on a regular basis and I am 22 in a few months myself! Maybe you are still too focused on school...You look like a good looking girl so that is the only reason I can think of. Def not age though LOL
  • andrialindsay
    andrialindsay Posts: 55
    It's probably your new look, that's the first thing men look at. Your hot. But also and more importantly its the confidence you are exuding. Continue to be you, politely turn down any unwanted requests (or not so politely if the guy is a weirdo). Take it as a compliment.

    I agree with others.... either no one hits on me, or I can never tell if they are just friendly or actually into me. Lol, people make me nervous sometimes, so I can get super awkward if I feel like a guy is giving me attention
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    I thought losing weight would have guys look at me but they dont....Three years ago, I was young and 18 and I was too focused in school so I didnt pay attention to all the guys hitting on me...Now that I am about to graduate college and about to turn 22......Its a different story...No one looks at me lol...And your not doing anything wrong...Your beautiful by the way...Sometimes to us we may not see that guys look at us at any size...but it does become more noticable the more we feel better about ourselves..


    Im 21 as well. I would not blame the lack of attention on your age. o_o I get hit on and asked out on a regular basis and I am 22 in a few months myself! Maybe you are still too focused on school...You look like a good looking girl so that is the only reason I can think of. Def not age though LOL

    Lol ok yea I am still focused in school....Lol ok so its not AGE lol :)
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    I thought losing weight would have guys look at me but they dont....Three years ago, I was young and 18 and I was too focused in school so I didnt pay attention to all the guys hitting on me...Now that I am about to graduate college and about to turn 22......Its a different story...No one looks at me lol...And your not doing anything wrong...Your beautiful by the way...Sometimes to us we may not see that guys look at us at any size...but it does become more noticable the more we feel better about ourselves..


    Im 21 as well. I would not blame the lack of attention on your age. o_o I get hit on and asked out on a regular basis and I am 22 in a few months myself! Maybe you are still too focused on school...You look like a good looking girl so that is the only reason I can think of. Def not age though LOL

    Lol ok yea I am still focused in school....Lol ok so its not AGE lol :)

    Umm no it's not. I'm 32 and get hit on regularly (by older AND younger men).. life doesn't end at 21 hon :)
  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
    I just take it as my due :drinker:
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    I thought losing weight would have guys look at me but they dont....Three years ago, I was young and 18 and I was too focused in school so I didnt pay attention to all the guys hitting on me...Now that I am about to graduate college and about to turn 22......Its a different story...No one looks at me lol...And your not doing anything wrong...Your beautiful by the way...Sometimes to us we may not see that guys look at us at any size...but it does become more noticable the more we feel better about ourselves..


    Im 21 as well. I would not blame the lack of attention on your age. o_o I get hit on and asked out on a regular basis and I am 22 in a few months myself! Maybe you are still too focused on school...You look like a good looking girl so that is the only reason I can think of. Def not age though LOL

    Lol ok yea I am still focused in school....Lol ok so its not AGE lol :)

    Umm no it's not. I'm 32 and get hit on regularly (by older AND younger men).. life doesn't end at 21 hon :)

    OH I see where this has headed...I didnt mention that it is based on my weight at those ages... 18 I was smaller and got hit on...Now I dont ..that's what I was referring to really.....and I know life doesnt end at 21..I plan to be 100 and hott! Lol
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    I thought losing weight would have guys look at me but they dont....Three years ago, I was young and 18 and I was too focused in school so I didnt pay attention to all the guys hitting on me...Now that I am about to graduate college and about to turn 22......Its a different story...No one looks at me lol...And your not doing anything wrong...Your beautiful by the way...Sometimes to us we may not see that guys look at us at any size...but it does become more noticable the more we feel better about ourselves..


    Im 21 as well. I would not blame the lack of attention on your age. o_o I get hit on and asked out on a regular basis and I am 22 in a few months myself! Maybe you are still too focused on school...You look like a good looking girl so that is the only reason I can think of. Def not age though LOL

    Lol ok yea I am still focused in school....Lol ok so its not AGE lol :)

    Umm no it's not. I'm 32 and get hit on regularly (by older AND younger men).. life doesn't end at 21 hon :)

    OH I see where this has headed...I didnt mention that it is based on my weight at those ages... 18 I was smaller and got hit on...Now I dont ..that's what I was referring to really.....and I know life doesnt end at 21..I plan to be 100 and hott! Lol

    Ok gotcha :) Sorry! :)
  • jazzdspazz
    jazzdspazz Posts: 137 Member
    When some one gives me attention, I usually pee my pants, vomit or say an obscene thing to have them go away, kind of like a skunk would do to a predator, sometimes the police get involved though. It is always better to be safe then sorry.
  • elsham
    elsham Posts: 549 Member
    I know what you mean. I feel like such an idiot sometimes because I can't tell if a guy is just being friendly or if he's flirting with me.

    ^This is like story of my life. I can never tell either, or it just completely goes over my head, or I'm so not used to it and so self conscious that all I think is "Why is he looking at me? Is there something on my face?!" (This is a problem, I know, I'm working on the confidence thing lol).

    But I totally agree with the other poster about confidence. I think you're probably not thinking about it, and being yourself and loving yourself, and it shows and radiates from you and somehow men notice it and are attracted to it. All I can say is, go get it! You look hot! =)
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    it's very hard for me to tell the difference between being friendly and flirting. i still find it awkward when i do realize that someone is flirting. i tend to laugh it off. i don't know if it's because i'm not interested in the boys that are flirting with me, or if i'm just embarrassed/don't know what to do. i guess i can answer this once a guy im into flirts with me.
  • AccordingtoTodd
    AccordingtoTodd Posts: 197 Member
    you are a beautiful woman, you will have many flirting with you
  • PonyTailedLoser
    PonyTailedLoser Posts: 315 Member
    the only ones who have hit upon me since i shed pounds are elderly men so i usually react with fear/revulsion and scurry away.
  • runs4zen
    runs4zen Posts: 769 Member
    When some one gives me attention, I usually pee my pants, vomit or say an obscene thing to have them go away, kind of like a skunk would do to a predator, sometimes the police get involved though. It is always better to be safe then sorry.

    :laugh: OMG...you are ridiculously funny...
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