My endorphin-induced epiphany.

Just posted this on my blog...thought I would share it here as well.


Wow. So here I sit covered in sweat, just having finished week 3 of my Couch to 5k program and Level 3 of Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30 workout. I think I just pushed myself harder than I ever have in my entire life. That reality just hit me, and honestly I am almost moved to tears. Of happiness, of pride. Jillian is so right when she says that exercise isn't just a physical thing, but that it transcends into your daily life. I have discovered this now.

It's not just hearing the compliments of 'wow, you're losing weight', 'you look great', and 'what are you doing??' It's the smile on my face. It's the pep in my step, my posture, it's how my eyes now look up and ahead to face the world instead of down at the ground, trying to remain invisible. It's how my social anxiety is going away. I no longer want to just stay at home all the time like a hermit. I WANT to go out, see my friends, family, be in public, anything....everything. I want to LIVE. I want to experience life. It's not just looking better, it's feeling better. It's taking care of my body, feeding it healthy things, loving myself. It's changing my whole lifestyle and feeling my life-long depression start to dissipate. It's pushing my mind and body to the limit, farther than I ever imagined possible. It's eliminating the word 'CAN'T' out of my vocabulary. It's helping to encourage others to do the same.
When I work out, when I run- I feel strong, powerful. I feel like I can handle anything life brings to me. It is a form of meditation to me, a mental and spiritual practice. I don't think about the problems or stresses in my life; if anything it relieves my stress and helps me stay focused on the positive things and the goals I have set for myself in every aspect of my life.

I am so thankful to MFP, all of it's users and especially my friends on here. You are all so kind, sweet, supportive and inspirational to me. You all push me to keep going. As I sit here with my sweat-drenched clothes, frizzy hair and makeup-less face, I feel more beautiful than ever before. And though I am still far from my goal, for the first time in my life I have no doubts in my mind that I will reach it.