My mom insulted me!

Rogiefreida
Rogiefreida Posts: 567 Member
edited October 5 in Motivation and Support
I have to get this off my chest, because it's really bugging me. Once I vent, I'm sure I'll be fine.

So here's what happened. On Friday, I went to pick up my wedding dress. It fits me, but was just a little tight (it's also my TOM so I'm massively bloated). Not really a big deal, but it kind of became one since my dress is somewhat complicated to fasten. So I started feeling discouraged when my mom was trying to fasten it and since she couldn't see what she was doing, she kept pulling the dress tighter and tighter to fasten the tiny hook and eye closures to the point where I thought the dress didn't fit at all (it did fit, once it was fastened it fit fine. She was pulling it tight to try and connect the hook and eyes). I mentioned something about wanting to lose 5-10 pounds before the wedding (next spring), and she says, "well, 10 would probably be good".

WTF? My mom is not the type to say something like this. I know it's not a big deal, but it hurt my feelings. I'm mad that I'm even letting it bug me, but I've been working really hard to get in shape, and haven't lost a lot of weight, but I never had much to lose in the first place. My main goal has been to tone up and get healthier and stronger. And I've done that. I'm not done yet, but this is the first time in my life that my mother has ever suggested that I have weight to lose. I realize as I'm typing that it is silly to be bothered by this, but I seriously needed to get it out of me, so I can move on and worry about being healthy and looking good for me, not her.

For anyone who reads this, thanks for listening. :)
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Replies

  • ANewMaria2014
    ANewMaria2014 Posts: 104 Member
    It's always good to get things off your chest, it helps to vent! I just vented also so no worries! You do what you have to do and do not worry about what anyone else thinks or says!! You are beautiful!
  • NA_Willie
    NA_Willie Posts: 340 Member
    1) Mothers and daughters, not really the closest of friends.

    2) You already said you were on your period, I'd chalk it up to that.
  • itsshadowwithane
    itsshadowwithane Posts: 114 Member
    my mom will hint little things that im fat!..the best way to feel better about it is to lose the weight and prove them that you can do it!..and i know you can!...spring is a ways away and you have plenty of time....i understand its super discouraging...but let it roll off your back and try even harder!
  • 0PhAtDaDdY
    0PhAtDaDdY Posts: 569 Member
    I think mom was just harmless agreeing with you...
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
    Just be strong and keep up the good work!
  • melirod8138
    melirod8138 Posts: 6 Member
    anytime... best of luck for your new future....
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,421 Member
    Ahhh, mothers.

    That is all :flowerforyou:
  • PBJunky
    PBJunky Posts: 737 Member
    I think mom was just harmless agreeing with you...

    This^
  • Jizes318
    Jizes318 Posts: 409 Member
    Don't over analyze it. Could just be the frustration of the dress and normal mother worries. You know what you have to do and being on TOM doesn't help. Don't stress, feel free to vent and kick *kitten* getting ready for the wedding.
  • JediMaster_intraining
    JediMaster_intraining Posts: 903 Member
    Hope you feel better after this rant!


    Moms sometimes say things just like everybody else when they are frustrated! :flowerforyou:
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
    As a mother....your mother is trying to support you in whatever you choose to do. You are the one that brought it up that you wanted to lose 5-10, she was only agreeing with you. I guarantee it was not meant in a negative way at all. Just a mother supporting you.
  • ShannanLaNae
    ShannanLaNae Posts: 434 Member
    I had the same issue with my mom. I was working out in the living room and she happended to be there, and she kept getting in my way. I kept asking her to move and yet and still she would get in my way to piss me off. She finally said "If u didnt eat like a pig, u wouldnt have to workout so much" It made me feel so bad inside, but instead of crying and giving into that I just went harder in the dvd..now I way less than she does:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • bruthacuervo
    bruthacuervo Posts: 52 Member
    look at it this way... this happened while you were being fitted for a WEDDING dress.... so obviously someone already finds you beautiful just how you are.

    Now im heading back to the gym to sweat my butt off so maybe i can get a friggin DATE ever once in a while!!! heheheh.
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
    Could she have just been agreeing with you so the wedding dress fits you slightly better and/or so you are not fretting about the wedding dress being tight?

    If shes not the sort to have a dig then I doubt it was a dig...just agreeing with you. Also if she'd have said "no you dont need to lose any, don't be silly" what would your reply have been? Maybe her agreeing with you was the quickest/easiest way.
  • Leslye125
    Leslye125 Posts: 242 Member
    Better to vent here in a safe environment than to hold on to it, let it fester and attack you to the point, (if you are like me), that you eat about it and REALLY have to loose extra pounds!
  • bdisvip
    bdisvip Posts: 1
    My mom does the same sort of thing. My mother told me about two weeks ago that I looked pregnant. I didn't know what to say, so I just said, "No, mom. I'm just fat." She is clearly more than twice my size.

    Mothers are just too harsh sometimes.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    I think mom was just harmless agreeing with you...
    I agree here...if anyone can say these things to us..its our mothers. I'm sure she just wants the best for you and wants you to feel your best on your wedding day. I'd have to say let it go...I suspect it wasn't intended to be mean-spirited!
  • mrsmellymac
    mrsmellymac Posts: 236 Member
    1) Mothers and daughters, not really the closest of friends.

    My mother is my best friend so idk what you are talking about.
    I think mom was just harmless agreeing with you...

    yea, I agree with this. She probably wasn't thinking about what she was saying. I bet you looked absolutely fabulous! Congratulations on the wedding =)
  • lawmama_
    lawmama_ Posts: 103 Member
    yeah, i agree. i think your mom was agreeing with you but you didn't take kindly to it. i also need to lose about 10 lbs to fit my dress appropriately. just come to terms with reality and you will be fine. next time you go in for a fitting, pop a midol and drink lots of coffee lol ... get those diuretics working in your favor at your next fitting and you will be fine.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    i know it might be frustrating, but i dont think that was with malicious intent. i think she just thought that you would need to lose 10 instead of 5 to fit into it. i would have given anything for my mom to go dress shopping with me. she wasnt at my wedding and didnt get to see my kids. if you can tell her it hurt without making it a big issue than all the better. i am sorry i am venting a little myself but i hear girls complain about their moms a lot and it really sucks with mine being gone.
  • iwantniceabs
    iwantniceabs Posts: 357 Member
    You are going to rock that wedding dress!
  • inskydiamonds
    inskydiamonds Posts: 2,519 Member
    I think mom was just harmless agreeing with you...

    I agree. Weight is a sensitive subject, so it's easy to get offended easily over it. But based on the context, I don't think you're mom meant anything rude by it.
  • GibsonDarlin
    GibsonDarlin Posts: 202 Member
    Maybe your mom was more frustrated with not being able to fasten the dress. If she will be the one to dress you on your big day - make sure you practice it periodically so she doesn't get all worked up on the big day.

    Since it was the TOM you just took it the wrong way. Heave knows your mom emotions are high with the wedding prep too.
    Being a mom - I can only image how emotional I will be when she gets married.

    Chalk it up to emotions and use it as motivations!!
  • sarah_ep
    sarah_ep Posts: 580 Member
    I don't think she was trying to insult you. She was honestly responding to your comment in which YOU said you wanted to lose 10 pounds. Maybe she thought she was being supportive? Family tends to be more blunt. I would forget it and move on.
  • suemar74
    suemar74 Posts: 447 Member
    Is it possible she said it jokingly since she was struggling with the closures? Or am I being too Pollyanna since I can't imagine a mother saying that with any serious intent?

    I'm hoping it was joking, but the hormones misunderstood. I would let her know she hurt you. As a mom, I would want to know.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
    Ahhh, mothers.

    That is all :flowerforyou:

    THIS!
  • chinadoll725
    chinadoll725 Posts: 36 Member
    I think mom was just harmless agreeing with you...

    This^




    Totally agree- I mighta been a little pissed if she would have thrown the word 'chubby' in on the end of that, but I think she meant well unless she said it sarcastically. :-)
  • weldinchic
    weldinchic Posts: 34 Member
    My mom has the habit of saying things like that as well. You will be an absolutely beautiful bride and your dress will fit wonderfully!
  • Elisirmon
    Elisirmon Posts: 273 Member
    Being a mom myself sometimes you say things just out of habit and not really mena them. She probably frustrated with her lack of eye sight and having problems with the dress and said the first thing out of her head. Not really feeling that way.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    I have to get this off my chest, because it's really bugging me. Once I vent, I'm sure I'll be fine.

    So here's what happened. On Friday, I went to pick up my wedding dress. It fits me, but was just a little tight (it's also my TOM so I'm massively bloated). Not really a big deal, but it kind of became one since my dress is somewhat complicated to fasten. So I started feeling discouraged when my mom was trying to fasten it and since she couldn't see what she was doing, she kept pulling the dress tighter and tighter to fasten the tiny hook and eye closures to the point where I thought the dress didn't fit at all (it did fit, once it was fastened it fit fine. She was pulling it tight to try and connect the hook and eyes). I mentioned something about wanting to lose 5-10 pounds before the wedding (next spring), and she says, "well, 10 would probably be good".

    WTF? My mom is not the type to say something like this. I know it's not a big deal, but it hurt my feelings. I'm mad that I'm even letting it bug me, but I've been working really hard to get in shape, and haven't lost a lot of weight, but I never had much to lose in the first place. My main goal has been to tone up and get healthier and stronger. And I've done that. I'm not done yet, but this is the first time in my life that my mother has ever suggested that I have weight to lose. I realize as I'm typing that it is silly to be bothered by this, but I seriously needed to get it out of me, so I can move on and worry about being healthy and looking good for me, not her.

    For anyone who reads this, thanks for listening. :)


    OMG!!! GET OVER IT! YOU asked a question and WHAT...you wanted her to Lie or act dumb and say nothing?! A friend of mine once said that "young people these days can't fight their way out of a paper bag." NOW, I am beginning to get what she was saying...if something is not cusshy, mussy, and in their favor they get "upset" which means BAD COPING SKILLS! If YOU think AGREEING with YOU about losing 10 is an Insult, your Mom's fault is that she didn't give you enough autonomy to develop GOOD Coping Skills.
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