Men who started @ 300+ lb w/sedentary lifestyle

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I have a friend who is trying very hard to lose weight and is having practically no luck at all. He eats healthily but seems to yoyo back and forth with about 8 lbs. I know some scoff at the "starvation mode" thing, but I do keep wondering if he's not eating enough calories. Admittedly, he doesn't do much physical activity, and it's not all just because of the excess weight; he has multiple health problems. I realize some of them could be contributing to his lack of weight loss. But could some of you who have had luck losing weight w/o large amounts of exercise let me know your average calorie intake per day, at least when you weighed around 275-325 lb?

I've tried to talk him into joining here @ MFP so we could see what the recommendations are here, but so far, no joy.
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Replies

  • Sublog
    Sublog Posts: 1,296 Member
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    Are you around him 24/7? Most of the time, he will be eating much more than you think.

    Weight should be flying off if he is eating 2k-2.5k calories per day.
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    I agree with sublog...he's probably not eating as healthy as you think. because even if he wasn't eating enough and hit the starvation mode, he would have lost weight and plateaued at that level.
  • tigertchr23
    tigertchr23 Posts: 418 Member
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    I know I am not a man and I didn't start at 300 pounds or more, but I would suggest that you help him by suggesting he get into the pool for exercise. That is the best way for him to start with exercise. So, if there is a gym or Boys and Girls club/YMCA he can go to that would be awesome! I know it will be a challenge for him to get started but it would do wonders.

    As far as calories, also remember calories can come from drinks too. That one is usually a killer for a lot of people. Drinking water is the best thing. But especially getting rid of soda or alcohol would be a huge step in the right direction.

    Best wishes :flowerforyou:
  • muffyjog
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    I'm losing weight at 2000 calories per day and I started at 300 lbs. The automatic calculator says 2110 calories to lose 1 lbs per week.

    And I absolutely frown on the starvation mode diets. I've been on most of them. I've lost over 350 lbs in my lifetime, much of it on those diets, and it plays games with your head and with your metabolism. Every single time I've lost the weight and been thrilled, only to gain it back PLUS 20%.

    If he wants to keep the weight off...tell him to keep plugging away at it and to write everything down. Whether he does it here, or in a notebook is up to him. He doesn't need to share, he just needs to write it for himself. Making yourself aware of the choices you make, and THAT you have choices, is the first step.

    Or he can stay the weight he is now for the rest of his life, which is not bad. It's just different and has different implications. The people who are his friends, will still be his friends. The people who love him, will still love him. And those things matter. So tell him not to struggle with the 8 lbs and to chill out, write stuff done and get more social. :) That will get him off the couch.
  • pshearer7777
    pshearer7777 Posts: 62 Member
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    I started at 345 and I'm a programmer, so I sit behind a desk all day and prior to MFP, I didn't do ANYTHING. In fact, by the time I started here, I couldn't walk more than a few steps without having back pain from all the weight in my midsection.

    The site originally wanted me to eat around 2200 calories a day to lose 2lbs a week. I felt that I could do a little better and aimed for 1500-1700 (3lbs a week at 1700). Since I started in mid-September, I have been on my calories every day and haven't cheated once. The first week, I dropped 11 lbs (water weight, to be sure) and I have consistently lost at least 2lbs a week (often 4-5) since then.

    By MFP's own admission, they use a much more conservative estimate for what your base metabolism is, so people who follow the program should be able to hit the target losses, especially at first and especially men, who (sorry ladies) often have an easier time shedding weight.

    The other very important thing I learned here is to HONESTLY track everything. One may aim for 2200 and eat and track that, but it didn't include the creamer in their coffee, the fun-sized candy bar they ate, the handful of M&Ms from a co-worker's desk, etc.

    I do find that it is important that I personally eat a set amount of calories and not drop too low. It keeps my energy up, keeps me from cheating, and is more like what "real life"/maintenance will be going forward anyway.

    It is a shame you can't get him to join, but if he is moving the same 8lbs back and forth, he either has a serious health problem, or he's cheating himself. I'm sure you know that there are so many people on MFP who have been in terrible health and terrible shape with diabetes and all sorts of things and this works for them.

    I know that if you get him on here and get him to commit to doing this the right way, he'd make incredible strides!
  • Umpire57
    Umpire57 Posts: 389 Member
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    You can do it w/ diet alone but for a sustainable life, exercise needs to be part of it.

    With that said, I am not a doctor, I do not play one on TV and I did not stay at a holiday inn last night so take it for what it is worth... Just MY personal experience.
  • amerrill1
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    I joined MFP the first part of September 2011 when I weighed 293lbs. I had (and still have) an injured left foot that prevented me from any exercise that I had to be on my feet for. My oldest son really got into mountain biking so I bought one and started riding with him. We could only ride on the trails on the weekend so I decided to get up early and ride in the morning before work. Initially, I started riding for about 35 minutes, which gave me my 500-600 exercise calories (and I usually ride 7 days a week). As I have lost weight I have had to increase the intensity and duration (and have been able to because I am getting in better shape). I ride for about 45 minutes now. There are many other low impact exercises that can be done....depending on his medical issues.

    That was the exercise part. Now for the MFP part....it has been an invaluable tool! At first, it was an eye opener as to how much I was eating and how all the little snack here and there really add up. I probably failed EVERY day for the first week or two to meet my calorie goal....but eventually I did. There were many days that I would go for another night ride to burn off the excess for the day. Most of the time I find it easy to locate the food in the database. More importantly, I am a creature of habit so most of my entries are on the recently used list.

    I have lost about 36 pounds since the beginning of September. I think my average is about 3lbs/week (but my goal has been 2lbs. I assume I have overestimating the calorie value of my food and not eating back my exercise calories because I don't trust MFP numbers). I have used other websites and apps before, but none have been as successful as MFP.

    I would point out that maybe your friend isn't at the point that he has the desire to lose weight. You can lead a horse to water....

    Good luck!
  • cfred40
    cfred40 Posts: 151 Member
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    More than likely, it's like the above poster stated. (esp. if he's not tracking his intake). I started off at 370 and was a couch potato. (I do have an active job though) My intake was usually around 1800-2100 cals, and the weight came off quickly initially. I think mfp initially gave me somewhere around 2200 for a 2# loss per week.

    It's great you're trying to help your friend. Until he wants it, and I mean REALLY WANTS IT, it's probably gonna be a losing battle. He's gonna have to get serious and make the commitment to track his intake, and while not required for weight loss alone, start some sort of exercise regime.

    He seems to be lucky to have a caring friend like you. Best wishes to you both.
  • Bakins929
    Bakins929 Posts: 895 Member
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    I started MFP @ 323 in February. I was not exercising at all and just started out entering everything I ate. After a week of that, it was clear I was eating garbage, and a lot of it. By adjusting my food quality and quantiity (although I was still eating a lot), I lost a lot of weight. So it is possible just by adjusting food intake to drop significantly in weight. I think when I was 300, I was eating around 2000 calories. A major factor was alcohol, for me. So many calories and carbs I didn't need. Especially in the high gravity beers I was drinking.
  • jhardenbergh
    jhardenbergh Posts: 1,035 Member
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    I started on a very restricted caloric intake about 1000, but I was doing a medically monitored diet, that used meal replacements for 4 of the meals and a standard dinner of 6oz of lean protein, 3 servings of non starchy/sugary vegetables (.5 cup cooked or 1 cup raw , and a fruit (4 oz of apple or half a standard banana). They didn't want us exercising at all when we started since we were shocking our system. The diet put our body in a state of ketosis so it was essentially constantly burning.

    When it comes to foods like pasta and fruits you'll be surprised what an actual serving is. It is very small. He probably is eating a little more than he thinks, I know I was shocked when I started and seeing what an actual serving is. Good Luck to him and you with your weight loss.
  • kristilovescake
    kristilovescake Posts: 669 Member
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    I would guess he's still eating too many calories to lose. Unless he's writing down quantity and calculating calories, there's no way to know how much he's eating. It's easy to go way over your calorie goal if you're not logging, even if it is all healthy calories.

    Try to get him to start logging his food to help get him mindful of how much he's eating and then use that to calculate why the weight isn't coming off. He could have a private diary so he won't be judged if he does "sneak" junk food.

    Also, some people are closet eaters. An extra bite here or there, sneaking a cookie or candy bar when nobody's looking, or just eating a large quantity of stuff.. it all adds up. Of course he won't want to admit to you that he ate a candy bar or something super unhealthy.
  • pshearer7777
    pshearer7777 Posts: 62 Member
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    I would point out that maybe your friend isn't at the point that he has the desire to lose weight. You can lead a horse to water....

    I can't agree with this more. I've known what I need to do and have had mixed success even in the past, but until September, I wasn't ready to do what was needed. I just decided on a Wednesday afternoon that I would start on Thursday (why wait until Monday?) and did it. Something just clicked that no person could have ever talked me in to.

    Now, I enjoy making these food choices and "playing the MFP game". I've started C25K, I walk several miles a week, it has been a total change, but as amerrill1 alluded to, I wasn't ready until I was ready and no one could have changed that.
  • ansonrinesmith
    ansonrinesmith Posts: 755 Member
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    I started at 380lbs. I did adkins at first and lost 60lbs. I knew I couldn't keep that diet up, so I joined MFP and started the C25K program. I've since lost an additional 20lbs.
    It is possible without any crazy exercise. Tracking everything was the key. There are some foods out there that will just surprise you!
  • Jewels211
    Jewels211 Posts: 184 Member
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    Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate the input. I do realize that I'm not there to see every bite he puts in his mouth, and I also realize that exercise does need to happen. I just feel so badly for him when he's trying so hard and nothing works.
  • AddA2UDE
    AddA2UDE Posts: 382
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    I would guess he's still eating too many calories to lose. Unless he's writing down quantity and calculating calories, there's no way to know how much he's eating. It's easy to go way over your calorie goal if you're not logging, even if it is all healthy calories.

    Try to get him to start logging his food to help get him mindful of how much he's eating and then use that to calculate why the weight isn't coming off. He could have a private diary so he won't be judged if he does "sneak" junk food.

    Also, some people are closet eaters. An extra bite here or there, sneaking a cookie or candy bar when nobody's looking, or just eating a large quantity of stuff.. it all adds up. Of course he won't want to admit to you that he ate a candy bar or something super unhealthy.

    Agreed! It's amazing at how easy it is to go over. You have to be VERY mindful of exactly how many calories you are taking in and how many you are burning. A lot of people on here use a scale to weigh the calories they are taking in and a BodyBugg to measure the calories they are burning throughout the day/night.

    Someone mentioned a fun-size candy bar above. The guys at work were throwing those around the office today. Of course I ate some, but I also logged each and every one. I just finished my calories for the day and still came in under my goal. It's a learning process. As you go along and participate in these forums on a daily basis, you WILL succeed if you really want it. There are a LOT of people on here who have already done what we are trying to do and want to help all of us who are willing to do our part in the process. Take Sublog for instance. He posted in this thread earlier. He has lost over 150 lbs and look at his picture on his profile now. He posts to these forums on a daily basis. He is just one example. There are MANY on here. I added about 20 people on here that I thought I could learn stuff from and then follow their posts every day so I can learn from them as I go. It really is about life and death if you think about it. My doctor called me "morbidly obese' for a reason. You don't see 70+ people who are carrying a lot of extra weight. Hence, the word "morbidly."

    Disclaimer: I started out at 275 but I figured that was close enough to chime in. :)
  • Bungee_tyme
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    A large...no bigger...get that serving bowl out..thats it...A large salad with all the veggies you can think of without dressing. then eat what you would like for dinner. It will be a ton less than you would have otherwise. At lunch start with an apple or two then a half sandwitch instead of two. If he is full he won't eat as much of the wrong things. Also he will have tocut out the sugar. I have not had any since Oct 3rd of this year....but then I am on one of those"starvation" diets right now. But will break my fast with salad.
  • Bungee_tyme
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    oops guess it was too close to halloween........half sandwich
  • Bungee_tyme
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    Dr Joel Fuhrman's EAT TO LIVE really opened my eyes. I am fasting for health reasons right now but plan to eat 80-90% vegan when I end the fast.
  • Sublog
    Sublog Posts: 1,296 Member
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    Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate the input. I do realize that I'm not there to see every bite he puts in his mouth, and I also realize that exercise does need to happen. I just feel so badly for him when he's trying so hard and nothing works.

    Losing weight really is 80% diet. Exercise is not needed. It's really not that hard to eat 2000 calories per day unless you're eating a lot of really dumb stuff.

    Unless he has some serious underlying medical issue, he should be losing a couple to a few lbs per week like clockwork.

    Add in a structured workout routine and he could lose 4-5 lbs per week. Just need to learn how to count calories properly and log everything. If he's not willing to do that, he may not ever succeed for good.
  • BrewerGeorge
    BrewerGeorge Posts: 397 Member
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    Started at 290# and I think I was allowed around 1900 to start.

    Unless he has a thyroid or some other medical problem, he almost has to be eating more than he thinks (or is telling you). This is especially likely if he drinks alcohol regularly. You can ingest 800 Calories very quickly at that size because you need to drink a decent quantity to get any psychoactive effect. The weight alone makes your tolerance high. Three or four beers is a rather typical "dose" when you're 300 lbs. If they're craft beers, that's 800 Cal. Sugared soda can do the same thing.