How to tell someone "NO"?

bagsandbows
bagsandbows Posts: 10
edited October 5 in Motivation and Support
Hi all,

I'm new to posting but not new to this great site. For the most part, things have been going great for me during my journey. The one "hiccup" if you will, are the people that do not accept the word no when I'm offered food. To sum it up, I'm offered food, I repeatedly say no and then am made to feel guilty that I said no. Sometimes I give in and eat it (making sure that I keep a sense of portion control) just to please them. This doesn't happen with my family, unfortunately it happens with a family that I see during my work. It actually bothers me so much that I give in, even when I'm not hungry, just to appease them. I know it's my life, my body and I'm not a garbage disposal; I guess I'm just afraid to offend the family since the food was homemade. I need suggestions and help!

Thank you!

Replies

  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    The best thing is to start. The first few times are the hardest, but they'll eventually get used to it.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    "No thanks, I already ate." Or even, "Oh, not right now."

    If it's food you would eat, just not right then and there, ask to take it home for breakfast, lunch, snack, whatever.
  • alz6690
    alz6690 Posts: 44
    THis happens to me all the time! I have a large exteneded family some of ho think it is there soul purpose in life is to feed the family and because I dont tell anyone I'm trying to lose weight it can get pretty tricky. I generally have a few excuses:

    I've just eaten....
    I will have some a little later....
    I'm not feeling so well today so trying to be careful of what I eat...
    I can't think about food right now, i have so much to get done.
  • kmbrooks15
    kmbrooks15 Posts: 941 Member
    I'd just tell them you're not hungry right now, but you'd love to sample it later. You can always toss it later if necessary. This will probably only work in the short-term, though. You probably just need to say something like "that's not on my diet!" (I know we're not technically "dieting", but that's at least something people understand!). You could even say that you've always enjoyed their treats in the past, but that you just can't have them now. Be sure to thank them for thinking of you, though. A little "sugar" goes a long way!

    Good luck...it's hard to make this change with everyone shoving food in your face!
  • amy_p
    amy_p Posts: 82
    When I first started out, I'd just say that I would have some in a little bit. And then I never would, and they'd forget. I've been doing it so long now that people don't even think twice about it anymore.
  • Mikesrobin
    Mikesrobin Posts: 44 Member
    I usually am just honest with people and tell them I am watching my calories that usually works. Some people are very persistant however so I will then lie and tell them I am full because I just ate. If they dont get the hint this time I will just walk away and ingore them. I know that is rude but then again they are being rude also by trying derail your diet.
  • richx83
    richx83 Posts: 334 Member
    I find grandparents are the worst for this sort of thing, I get asked 3 - 5 times if I would like anything when I visit and even if I say no every time I somehow end up with some sort of food given to me. Portion sizes are also huge and no matter how many times I told them nothing changed. In the end I just had to stop visiting for meals as often and it was around the same time my weight loss accelerated.
  • BrowneJen
    BrowneJen Posts: 42 Member
    Sometimes I tell a little white lie and tell them it gives me heartburn?? It works??:blushing:
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    bump
  • goron59
    goron59 Posts: 890 Member
    "Thank you, but no. I'm being very careful with by diet at the moment and do not want to deviate from my plan."

    Something like that. It doesn't imply that their offered food is bad, just that you need to keep things under your control.
  • norma67
    norma67 Posts: 255 Member
    I fully understand what you mean. Saying No is one of the hardest things to do sometimes. Then during the times that you are able to enforce your no you feel like you just kicked a kitten or something. One of the best ways I have found is to take one of those family members and sit down with them. Tell him/her how wonderful the food is, but you are trying to change how you eat and live healthier. Sometimes they understand other times they don't. Another way is to take the food and say I can't eat it right now but I will take it home and have it for later.

    Wishing you the best
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    I would stick to the portion control. The way I look at it, as long as I am eating sensibly the rest of the time and exercising, I'm not going to torture myself at every family function by abstaining from good food. This has really helped me not get burned out. I plan on eating at BBQs, Birthday Parties, and Holidays, skinny people do it all the time. If you know you are seeing a family member in the evening, maybe just try eating a little lighter for your earlier meals (don't skip them). Then when you see grandma or who ever, have some of the old girls meatloaf or cookies.
  • yokurio
    yokurio Posts: 116 Member
    "No thanks, I already ate." Or even, "Oh, not right now."

    If it's food you would eat, just not right then and there, ask to take it home for breakfast, lunch, snack, whatever.

    I think this is the best Idea. Ask them if you can take some home so you can add it to your calorie counter. My coworker actually posted on fb that she was bringing me in some pulled pork sandwiches. I just added it to my calorie counter for the next day and ate what I added. This was actually yesterday. So, just be smart about it and prepared, because you know it will happen again.
  • unsuspectingfish
    unsuspectingfish Posts: 1,176 Member
    Funny you should ask. I found this article, today: http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=1685
  • bagsandbows
    bagsandbows Posts: 10
    WOW! Everyone, thank you for the responses. I'm really happy that I decided to post this, usually I don't do that sort of thing. I am going to try all of these ideas and hope atleast one sticks. LOL

    Robogreifer- THANK YOU for the article!! I guess I'm in good company, as far as having food pushed on us. It's ironic that the people that asked when I was going to lose weight, are now trying to make me eat. Ugh.

    Adrian Indy- I totally know what you are saying, I am a huge believer in "thinking skinny" ie eating what I want but in portion control. But, I choose what that is and when that is and how much that is. It doesn't seem healthy (for me) to eat something *just* to appease someone and that is what it boils down to for me.
  • bagsandbows
    bagsandbows Posts: 10
    I fully understand what you mean. Saying No is one of the hardest things to do sometimes. Then during the times that you are able to enforce your no you feel like you just kicked a kitten or something. One of the best ways I have found is to take one of those family members and sit down with them. Tell him/her how wonderful the food is, but you are trying to change how you eat and live healthier. Sometimes they understand other times they don't. Another way is to take the food and say I can't eat it right now but I will take it home and have it for later.

    Wishing you the best

    This made me laugh out loud, mostly because it totally felt like I was kicking a kitten. LOL
  • bagsandbows
    bagsandbows Posts: 10
    Sometimes I tell a little white lie and tell them it gives me heartburn?? It works??:blushing:

    :laugh:
  • unsuspectingfish
    unsuspectingfish Posts: 1,176 Member
    It's ironic that the people that asked when I was going to lose weight, are now trying to make me eat. Ugh.

    I completely understand.
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