I didn't die this weekend!

Powerful title, huh? But that's the way I felt when I woke up this morning. There is a strong story behind that and I will try to keep it brief. It's a deeply personal story but I need to share it. Writing it is kind of cathartic for me and marks a personal milestone that I cannot ignore. Sharing it is motivational for me and I hope at least interesting for you.

9 months ago, I was almost 100 pounds heavier, way out of shape and my doctor told me that I had diabetes. On top of that, I woke up one night shaking with fear that I would die and that I knew exactly when. Yep, this last weekend was the date. I cannot tell you how scary that feeling was for me.

My realization was that I was my fathers son. There were so many parallels between what was happening in my life and the things in my fathers life that led to his death at an early age from a heart attack. Overweight, not healthy, work too much, needs of the family before personal needs, I could go on and on. I had a dream trip planned which was fairly similar to a dream trip that my father was on when he died. We would be the same age (me 51, him 52). My daughter would be the same age as I was when my father died. We would each be thousands of miles from home doing something that we had wanted to do since we were young.

So this fear and the news about my diabetes combined to make me attempt to lose weight and get my health in order. That's when MFP entered my life and I took the first steps towards health. I started walking and getting my diet under control. The weight dropped faster than I could have expected and the impact on my health was almost immediate. The more I got my butt off the couch, the more the pounds dropped and the better my doctors visits became. Blood tests showed dramatic improvement all along the way. At this point, I have lost nearly 100 pounds and stopped taking almost all of the medications I was on. Diabetes is never mentioned any more, except in the past tense. Amazingly, I actually joined a gym about 6 weeks ago and have hardly missed a day since. For a 51 year old who had never exercised a day in his life, this is unbelieveable.

Anyway, I have just returned and the feeling is amazing. A friend and I flew from Virginia to his home in South Dakota for a hunting trip. On various days, we had from 5-8 people in our hunting party. It took me a day or two to realize, but I was the fittest one in our group. We walked 5-10 miles a day through the woods, through cornfields and marshlands carrying guns, supplies and all the other gear. Other people were winded, I kept going. When one person was needed to tackle the heavier terrain and flush the birds out to the others, I was elected. When people who hadn't even met me before mentioned how out of shape they were, they said things like "not like Keith, Mr. Fitness." And they weren't teasing or joking around, they were just pointing out that I was making it look easy.

How was that even possible for a guy who has pretty much been overweight all his life and a year ago wouldn't even run to get out of the rain? Don't take me wrong. I still have a gut and still have 25 pounds or so to drop. I still have a lot of work to do getting physically in shape. But I can see the end coming and my confidence is strong that I will get there.

So on the flight home yesterday, I ran a real gamut of emotions. I have never been happier to head home to my family. I had just experienced one of the best vacations that I have ever taken, but it was much more than that. It was a personal verification that you can indeed make a change if you set your mind to it. Having clear goals and a clear motivation to achieve them keeps you headed in the right direction. MFP and my friends here have played a big role in this. There were one or two people who's profile I saw early on in my journey and they were huge motivators for me. They may or may not be aware of the impact that they played. Seeing that they could make huge turnarounds in their lives gave me hope that I too could do it. My other friends (and I have purposely kept the number small) played a huge role in keeping me accountable day to day.

So looking forward, I still have a lot of ground to cover. But never have I been so confident that I can do it. Never have I felt more satisfied in an accomplishment and more motivated to achieve more. My doctor reminds me that I have done wonders for my quality of life and my lifespan. This past week really made me internalize that and take it from from just words to a reality. The world is out there for us and we truly can take control of ourselves and shape our own realities. It takes a strong motivation and a clear picture of where we want to go. If the weight loss is truly important, make it a priority in your life and go make it happen.

I really wasn't going to attach pictures to this because it isn't about appearance for me. It's about health and quality of life. But here are a few anyway, just to document the way things have changed.