So I am wondering....

crystalpotts
crystalpotts Posts: 130 Member
edited October 5 in Success Stories
When you look back at your "before" pictures, do you ever wonder wish people would have told you how bad you look? (If you thought you looked horrible) I do. I was talking to my cousin yesterday and I told her that when I looked at my old pics of me I was very disgusted and couldn't believe that people wouldn't tell me how god awful I looked. I know it's considered rude to tell someone that they look horrible, but I kinda wish that they did. I might have tried to lose the weight sooner.

Replies

  • t_rog
    t_rog Posts: 363 Member
    No! I'm WAY too sensitive of a person, and I would have broken down and cried if someone told me something like that. It was probably best that I just realized it on my own.
  • MichelleLydia
    MichelleLydia Posts: 224 Member
    I totally understand that. After having my son, I seriously packed on the pounds (around 40!) I never noticed it, and I wish someone else had told me what was happening, I felt so oblivious, and silly for not realizing!
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
    Nope, I would have cried. Besides, you A. probably are way harsher on how you look than how others see you, and B. really cannot stick to something such as a weight loss plan unless YOU are ready to do it. Someone else telling me that might have made me put the cookie down for the day, but it wouldn't have motivated me to attempt a lifestyle change unless I was really committed.
  • brookepenni
    brookepenni Posts: 787 Member
    I OH wish they had! I was up in Cairns Australia (think Great Barrier Reef) with friends - walking around in my swimsuit like I owned the place. A few days later I saw the photos, and the next day I weighed myseld - 94.8kgs (208.5 lbs). OMG. So I joined this and havent looked back. The sad part was I looked like this for well over 12 months. Had someone given me a hot tip - I probably would have acted sooner. Then I'd be at goal right now ;)
  • jenalderman
    jenalderman Posts: 411 Member
    I'm with the one who says they would cry...lol. I would have curled up and died. Besides.... you are GORGEOUS now so who cares what you looked like a year ago! Everyone forgets so quickly. I'm sure you are being harder on yourself than other were. We always are. Keep up the great work.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    I don't think other people see you in as negative a light as you see yourself. They probably didn't think you looked bad. They just saw their friend, someone they love regardless of how you look.
  • Afaida
    Afaida Posts: 142 Member
    Trust me I had people try. This did not go well for either of us.:devil:
  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
    After about an hour in the bathroom doing my hair and make-up for a wedding, I asked my now-ex-husband "how do I look?" and he sighed and said "Oh Davena, you know you aren't going to look good until you lose weight."

    It was the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me.

    I put on an additional 50kgs over the following 10yrs... and when the doctor suggested that the best thing I could do to help with Secondary Infertility was to lose weight, he was the first doctor to ever mention my weight to me.

    I'm glad my friends didn't say anything, but I do kind of wish a doctor had of kicked my *kitten* sooner.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    OH GOD NO!!!!

    I was hard enough on myself, and super sensitive about ANY comment that anyone made that might even be tangentially construed as a comment about my weight or the way I looked.

    [e.g., "Hey, that sweater really looks slimming on you!" sounded to me like "Hey, you fat cow I see you finally found a sweater that covered your embarrassing flab, eh?"]

    It would have absolutely crushed me.
  • lolollama
    lolollama Posts: 58
    My grandma was always having a go at me about my weight and how bad I looked and it made me cry! It didn't motivate me to lose weight it just made me upset and eat more.
  • reepobob
    reepobob Posts: 1,172 Member
    I really didn't give a crap what anybody said to me, good or bad. I was very self aware that I needed to get off my lazy butt and get to work...I just took some time to get started and commit. I don't need outside influences to lose weight...I just needed to start...once I started, I never looked back until I hit my goal...
  • Rachiepie6
    Rachiepie6 Posts: 423 Member
    My Mum tried to tell me for AGES, I never listened. I think it is a good idea for people that are close to be kind but honest, but at the end of the day you have to do things for yourself. I look back and wish I'd listened.. but I don't have a Tardis!

    I've been wanting my boyfriend to quit smoking for 3years or so, one day, one day, he kept saying. Now on his own he told me that he wants to quit by the end of the year. Nothing I say is going to get him to quit, or start exercising. He is going to have to do it on his own, with my support but not nagging.
  • sewedo1
    sewedo1 Posts: 200 Member
    I can't blame others for not telling me how I look or motivating me any more than I can blame others for the lifestyle choices I made to get to my former weight.
  • Megan2Project
    Megan2Project Posts: 351 Member
    I would have gone and ate somewhere if someone did that to me...

    Well, wait... I DID have a friend do that... BUT she is probably the ONLY person that could get away with doing it due to who she "is". She's a woman who really has no filter but always means well.

    I knew I was big. I had a mirror, a scale, and clothes that said "size 24".
  • rachietuk
    rachietuk Posts: 308 Member
    I had this conversation with my husband last week. I told him I wish he had said something to me. He told me he was trying to think of a way to tell me without hurting me.
    I wish someone had told me.
  • paeli
    paeli Posts: 295 Member
    I was thinking about this just last night as I went through old pics. I don't really wish anyone told me otherwise, because it would've been hurtful to hear, and I always "knew" I was fat, etc. It's just so strange to look back on pics that I remember liking of myself, like "oh I look good in this pic!" and I still think I looked good, but just a much larger version of myself. I think that it's probably better to try and think positively of it.

    One thing I did hate hearing was "Oh you're not THAT fat" etc etc. UGH. At least agree with me, don't give me the white lies, jeesh! But no way flat out, "Hey P, you're pretty chunky, lose some weight" - I would have just been hurt, it wouldn't have helped!
  • AmoreCouture
    AmoreCouture Posts: 255 Member
    I just don't think it's something anyone else can tell you before you see it yourself. It's something we have to eventually face ourselves. I think most people would have a negative reaction, and someone else telling them something like that would most likely make them do the opposite. Eat more and gain more weight. It's quite depressing for most to hear from someone else about how bad they look, or how fat they have gotten. I've had it said to me and it did not make me feel inspired to make a change. It made me feel worse about myself, and even more depressed with my weight.
  • AshDHart
    AshDHart Posts: 818 Member
    I knew I was big. I had a mirror, a scale, and clothes that said "size 24".

    Same here! It's a bit hard not to realize it when you weigh 377 lbs and wear a size 32/34. I knew it. I just needed to hit bottom before I could change. Nothing anyone said would have made any difference. I hit it in March 2011. Never going back now.
This discussion has been closed.

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