Ashamed to ask, but asking anyway-weight gain

CricketKate · November 2011

Let me prefeace this by saying that I am aware of why I'm not losing weight. I am not looking for criticism or ridicule.

When I joined MFP a year ago, I weighed 10 lbs more than I had on my youngest child's first birthday 6 months prior. In the last year, I have been very consistent about checking in every day, but off and on with my diet and exercise. I find that I will be doing very well for a few weeks and then something will slow me down, like an illness or an injury or life with 4 kids, and I lose momentum. Once that momentum is gone, I really stuggle to get my head back in the game. Long story short (or less long), a year later I now weigh 17 lbs more than I did when I started.

As I said, I'm not here to make excuses or ask how this could happen. My question is, has this happened to anyone else? I know that everyone struggles with weight loss or they wouldn't be here, but I feel like I'm surrounded by so many dedicated and successful people that I feel like I am a total failure. Has anyone else participated in this great site and still been unable to get themselves in line? If so, have you been able to get yourself going? How do you overcome the mental barriers that throw themselves in your way?

bestrodeo · November 2011

Im a mom of 5 been using this site for awhile.. Not loosing much. Im NOW starting to pull things together and really buckle down in order to lose what weight im wanting to get rid of.. due to injuries I have had to find different things to help me lose weight without being able to go to a gym. Thou I personally find it easier to work out, walk or anything when i have someone with me or just giving me that push..

Good luck.. if you need a friend or support buddy feel free to add me

psmd · November 2011

Motivation is absolutely the hardest part! I have had so many times in the past few years when I would get motivated for a few weeks and then all of a sudden just...stop. It's hard when you're either on or off. I am not sure how I've been able to keep things up for the past 3 months, but I think part of it is I'm really not trying to be as "extreme" as before, so I can keep it up.

Don't feel bad. I think it's human nature to be honest. I know it's probably not that helpful, but I think this is a very common issue with weight loss and fitness.

I will say that the one thing I am doing differently is that I am using a personal trainer. She helps with the working out, but she's also someone to hold me accountable week to week.

2chubby4now · November 2011

Yep and I too am aware of why. I just keep logging what I eat. There is always something that gets in the way. Life is like that. I figure in the long term I will learn how to deal with it. At least that is what I tell myself.

shelleymeg · November 2011

Totally with you. I'm doing well then life takes over and I put on again. I'm trying to just aim for the weekly calorie goal instead of the daily one. That way I can have pizza and cake for my friends birthday but then balance it out over the rest of the week. Before once I ate something 'bad', I figured I'd runied my healthy eating anyway so might as well just pig out. Aiming for the weekly calories goal has definately helped me get some control. good luck!

jess_blonde · November 2011

I little over a year ago I got my *kitten* in gear, started tracking and exercising and lost ten pounds. I then plateaued something fierce and totally lost hope. Hello 15 lbs...where did you come from?

So I joined MFP for a fresh start and started again. I'm one of those people that needs a very specific goal or I get off track or lose interest (I'm like a cat with tinfoil, it's awful). So right now the one thing keeping me on track is my wedding! I have a little over a year to lose the 20-30lbs I would like to see gone and I just picture those tiny sample sizes and the smoking hot lingerie I want to wear on my honeymoon to pull me away from the bad stuff!

I have always struggled with self-control and restraint around food. I like food. I love to cook and experiment in the kitchen and I love BAD foods! I still fight it (hell I've only been at this two weeks) and I think I'll keep fighting it for a while, because I never used to have to stop and think about what I was putting in my mouth.

Feel free to add me if you want another friend to help encourage you along the way!

Megthatgirl · November 2011

Ive been on here since february.. I did really good, lost like 15 lbs- then I kept dancing between 245-250 for the longest time... I started a stressful job, life in general just got crazy, and my mind wasnt in the right place. Its been here in the last 3 weeks that I decided to give it my all and see how far I can go. Its hard. Every single day... but I know that its going to be so worth it in the end

Youll find your stride, when theres something that makes you want it bad enough!

graycaro · November 2011

Oh yeah, this happens to me frequently, unfortunately. I get going and start doing really well, and then within a month I've either gotten sick or get busy with work I have to do and forget about logging or exercising on my normal schedule. I'm realizing now just how important it is to have a community of support around you though, so feel free to friend me if you need some more motivation or encouragement! I know you can do it!

moleighsmom · November 2011

I know exactly what you are going through. I have done the same thing but with a different program. Lost 15 pounds then lost motivation. Gained it back plus more and had to do the walk of shame when i finally weighed in again. For me, it's everytime one of my parents is dealing with a serious illness. My health just takes a back seat. I'm hoping being on here and reading the boards and making new friends keeps me motivated. So far so good anyway. If you are looking for a fellow drop-out/drop-in just shoot a friend request. Good luck!

SoliderforChrist · November 2011

I totally understand how you feel. But let me just say this - you are not surrounded by a bunch of dedicated, crazily successful people. We are ALL on the SAME journey as you are. Its a lifetime. We all struggle, we are all trying. We all have good days, and we all have bad.

But I just want to say #1, I admire your honesty - that is so swesome. I can see you want a change...But here is the key.....Are you ready?

You just need to make the DECISION. I am GOING TO make the choice to get on the right track. No longer wishing, but DOING...you'll be amazed how EMPOWERED you will feel once you just say, enough is enough.

Set small goals, and keep them. We all WANT to loose weight, but not everyone is WILLING to make the choice to discipline themselves to do it......I struggle ALL the time....lose a pound and gain two..lol.....However, I want to have the right relationsip (healthy) with food, (eating for the right reasons) And I also want to be a good stewart of the body God gave me, and my Saviour reedemed for me.....plus feeling healthy is such an awesome feeling! And working out and getting a good sweat, ....theres nothing like it

In closing, again I want to say I admire you so much. YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK...... Just come to the place where you are going to make the DECISON "I will do this!"

Add me as a friend if you'd like, we can do this together

Beckym1205 · November 2011

I totally get it. I'm 10 pounds more than I was in february (partly because I super crash dieted to fit into my wedding dress, then after the wedding I ate everything in site)... I hope to be able to get back down to that weight soon.

Edithrenee · November 2011

well i have been on since may or april and i have not lost anything, however i exercise, but i think it is what i eat, alot of people tell you to eat this way or that way.

So i had been doing what worked for others and not what worked for me, which is low fat, people will say" you have to have good fat" but i lost 70 pounds once doing this and i am thinking of doing it again.

I feel we get fat in about eveything we eat so i dotn think i am in danger of not eating enough fat. With that said i will probly hear alot of negitivity, but hey im 42 and i know what worked for my "body" before so im going to try it again..

My point is you have to be ready one, and two do what you can, and keep trying never give up and i also I think it is a matter of finding what works for you..

Eating low fat to me means i can eat a high volume if i want to with high neutrients and i will stay full, and i will be happy what ever, because i know my energy is threw the roof when i do this.

Im saying Good luck! And i wish you all the best and you can do it. We can do it. Dont be down just try again.

xxTAMxx · November 2011

You are not alone! I feel as though I have made no progress due to my own stupid fault of stopping and starting and it is becoming quite frustrating to get to a certain fitness level, have a couple of weeks off and then start all over again. If I don't go to the gym on Monday and start the week on a positive note the rest of the week is kaput. Even right this minute I am having a hard time motivating myself to go to the gym after work. I would love nothing more than to go home and relax with a glass of wine. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit so that is what I am trying - to atleast go to the gym 5 times a week and make healthy food choices for the 21 days. I think we need to constantly set ourselves small achievable goals.

pixiesx3 · November 2011

I only have 3 children and, if that pic in your ticker is current, mine are older! My kids are 11, 11, & 8 and don't require as much work now as a few years ago. I'm a single mom but that is only 3 years now. For years I found excuses... "I'm healthy except for this weight", "I haven't hit XXX yet", "I don't want to start and miss all of this food that I enjoy", "I am not as big as _______", "I am just too busy to make time to exercise", and so on, and so on, and so on. I can sell ice to people in Iceland but I couldn't sell myself on the idea that I needed to make this lifestyle change. And then... one day... one doctor did not harp on me but simply asked me to keep a log of my food intake for 2 weeks. BAM! It clicked. It must have been time and here I am on that journey.

So, yes, it is easy to get discouraged. It is easy for me to look at others and think that I could not do what they are doing. I can make excuses. I can be busy, busy, busy and not take time for me. However, until that moment. That magical moment. The one when EVERYTHING makes sense and I take the first step and then another and another until one day I look up and 30 days have gone by and it is a habit... Yes... THEN I am really on that journey to a healthier me! And when I slip up or make a not-so-healthy choice, I give myself permission to forgive myself and move on.

It is not easy but it is worth it! When you are really ready, you WILL do it! Until that time... feel free to "Fake it 'til You Make It!!!" :flowerforyou:

**edited to say that I am not perfect. I will never be perfect! I expect plateaus and frustrations to come. I know I will hit obstacles.

**

cofakid · November 2011

I was the same in the past. Go great for two weeks,give up. Go great for a month and give up. id be all out and then id loose motivation and be doing nothing. i think a LOT of ppl r this way.

this time i said i wouldnt let myself fall of the tracks and i took it slow but i still ended up going off tracks for a while, just not as bad as i had in the past. it was more a dip in my efforts rather than a de-railing. i started off making very small changes and stoping myself from going overboard, when i felt like depriving myself, id snack instead so that i wasnt going nuts and binging. but even without kids i found with time i "didnt have the time" to exercise and once i lost momentum i stopped. then i went on holidays for a week and after that i was over calories every day. the important thing was i kept recording, i kept trying to be under even though i was failing every day, i treated it like an oopsy not an oh well give up. and then once i had a 1kg(2lb) gain i went thats it, gotta get out of this dip and back on the horse. i have been nback on track for 6 weeks now and its still going really great im still really pumped. this time i started by just getting my food back in gear, slowly getting it back to how it was under control. and then i started exercising and in the first week wen i wanted to do extra exercise i didnt i said no i only did my minimum so the next day i had no excuse not to do it i couldnt say oh i did extra yesterday so i wont today, there were no excuses aloud had to be every day. and now its been three weeks and my exercise is what i look forward to MOST in my day. i cant be certain this is going to last, but i feel and think it is and thats most important. believing you WILL make it last this time. ive gone and got the proper gear for my workout (hrm, exercise bike, running shoes) and that has spurred me to stick with it - after all i dont want to have wasted all that money. and supporting others and getting support here has really helped me. and i def feel like - everyone else is exercising well i want to too. i thought it would take years to get me excited about exercise but now im obsessed with it, but its not just in short burst and then fading its every day. im just keeping myself pumped about it and keeping it and keeping it for as long as i can.

sorry that was long winded but anyway i hope it helps in some way. i think that going hard and then giving up is very very very common, most ppl r like this. and u just need some like minded friends to motivate each other to stick with it. believe that this time it will stick and bounce off others and you can make it stick.

if you want support feel free to add me.

hornseagirl · November 2011

I put on 5lbs last September on holiday and that really set me back; it is only this week that MY HEAD IS RIGHT AGAIN TO GET CRACKING!
Come on girl WE CAN DO IT!
I reset my weight and disregarded the 23 lbs lost in the past and am now targeting another 16 lbs from fresh and I will be happy. Christmas may get int the way BUT if I lose some now that is really going to make any weight gain at Christmas not quite as bad and then there is a NEW YEAR START!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pam3 · November 2011

bottom line it is hard, its a work in progress and life will was HAPPEN,...i struggle with this EVERYDAY...all i try to do is think of one day at a time.....just making it through the day and then next....if something happens then i start over....you are not alone....
good luck:flowerforyou:

rml_16 · November 2011

Really, you just have to talk yourself into it.

For a long time, I would make a plan to exercise after work, then talk myself out of it with a promise to get up early the next morning and exercise, then do it again that afternoon to make up for not doing it the first day.

But I never made it up. I would sleep in the next morning and then go through the same conversation the next night.

Then one evening, I thought, "You know you're not getting up in the morning for this. You know you will be sorry you didn't exercise tonight, but you will not be sorry that you did." And I talked myself into it instead. And I did the same thing the next night and the next and the next until it was a habit and I was no longer talking myself out of it.

At some point, you have to acknowledge that it's a PITA to diet and exercise, but you will love the results and just do it until it's a habit.

fionarama · November 2011

I just want to say I feel for you, I really do. I have just this year managed to finally lose weight and I only have one four year old but while she was a toddler or baby I just couldn't do it.
Unfortunately the only way to lose weight is to be really self involved and 100% committed which is easier said than done when you have children to care for.
Maybe you could think about what you do wrong when these things happen, and think up ways to combat that one at a time. Perhaps weight watchers ready meals when you are too busy , or joining Jenny craig or something like that if youc an afford it. Some kind of exercise the kids can join in on. 30DS is great becasue youc an do it at home and it only takes 20mins but even that with kids can be hard I had to be really strict with my daughter to educate her to leave me alone those 20mins!!!

NatalieWinning · November 2011

What keeps me motivated is the fear of having to start from the start again. You know, though, if you are logging in consistantly (and you are)then you are at least still thinking about it. And probably modifying a little bit. So you haven't failed. You have just not completely jumped on the wagon. So where would you be if you were not logging in? A lot bigger, I'd think! So maintence of sors is a success, too.

Now, it's up to you if thats good enough for the long haul and slow progress. Or, do you want to jump in with both feet and get this done. Both ways is up to you.

I will tell you that I had 2 sets of kids. I breastfed them all, and somehow I was a big milker and gained weight because I was super hungry all the time. Kids make you slow down, and everything takes twice as long (or more). I've been there. I couldn't lose weight until the youngest was 10 years old. 10 years of baby weight! Both times! How do those people that have kids get so skinny and fit when they are only 3 months post baby? Or even 6 months post baby? I have a theory. They concentrate on themselves. Know what? That doesn't work in real mommy world. Kids, plants, and pets are dependent on you. That means you become last. They need what they need now, not when you have time. So you are being a good mommy. That puts you last. They are only little once, and you get only that one time to raise them. You won't regret it later. Your time will come.

Just keep trying to maintain and work on you when you can. Until you come to that place where you can put both feet in the wagon and tell everyone else it's MOMMY'S TIME NOW and they can wait. I swear I still have to yell at everyone here when I need my own time! But they are old enough. Not every day, but most days. Youngest just turned 11

(husbands count as 2 kids under 10).

Edithrenee · November 2011

You are not alone! I feel as though I have made no progress due to my own stupid fault of stopping and starting and it is becoming quite frustrating to get to a certain fitness level, have a couple of weeks off and then start all over again. If I don't go to the gym on Monday and start the week on a positive note the rest of the week is kaput. Even right this minute I am having a hard time motivating myself to go to the gym after work. I would love nothing more than to go home and relax with a glass of wine. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit so that is what I am trying - to atleast go to the gym 5 times a week and make healthy food choices for the 21 days. I think we need to constantly set ourselves small achievable goals.

I dont know if this will help but i take my gym cloths with me, I dont go to gym, i go jogging or i workout at home, but i found if i change my cloths before i leave my job, I will drive home get imidiatly out of the car and i DO NOT go in the house i move one foot in front of the other to down my road walking then eventuialy i jog. For soem reason it is a super motivater, if i go in house to change then i can forget about exercise.. Or if i go in i make sure i head to the tv adn put in a dvd, and exercise then if i wait it wont get done.

Ashamed to ask, but asking anyway-weight gain

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