Is this journey even .....

tdoerr2
tdoerr2 Posts: 89
edited October 5 in Motivation and Support
possible with out spousal support? Am I wasting my time? My support at home is minimal at its best. And sometimes I feel like he is sabotaging me!!! We have been married 30 yrs, what is he afraid of??

HELP ME HELP HIM BE SUPPORTIVE OF ME!!!

Replies

  • CathiAnne
    CathiAnne Posts: 193 Member
    You have to do it for yourself and hope others come along. You can't ask for anyone's support - except on here. You can come here any time and ask and give support and encouragement. :smile:
  • AdrienneKaren
    AdrienneKaren Posts: 168 Member
    He's afraid you'll lose a bunch of weight and he'll lose you to some younger, hotter guy. The previous poster is right. You do it for you no matter what anyone else says or thinks.
  • CathiAnne
    CathiAnne Posts: 193 Member
    Hello "neighbor" Adrienne - I live in Omaha!
  • valier_l
    valier_l Posts: 6 Member
    Piling on here as well. Do it for you, in spite of any negative influences. It will definitely be more challenging, but who knows- maybe he'll come along after he realizes you're getting stronger, fitter, healthier, and happier.
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
    you can do it without spousal support because the motivation/drive comes from within you...not anyone else. it would probably be helpful to have your spouse give you support, but its unnecessary once you lock in your mind to going on the journey.

    I'm going to put this out there as plain and direct as I can...

    DO NOT LET YOUR SPOUSE'S LACK OF SUPPORT BE AN EXCUSE.....because that's all it is, an excuse. get your mind strong and rock this journey.
  • Corachan
    Corachan Posts: 21 Member
    I think it is possible, but is really a lot easier with the spouse. When I joined my hubby really scoffed at the whole idea, but after 2 weeks decided to give a try. Together we have been able to shed the pounds, but I can totally see when I person doesn't support the other that it makes things really difficult. Feel free to add me if you need a friend.
  • siems56
    siems56 Posts: 28
    Sorry to hear, some men are just afraid of change and lossing weight starts with you and then slowly helps your family as well. I wish i could help, but if you would like to add me for support I here. YES I know it is possible without spousal support it is just a bump in the road. Keep you head up and keep working at it, maybe get other family members to join you. Hope this helps
  • tdoerr2
    tdoerr2 Posts: 89
    I am losing it for me(and my grand kids). But a little encouragement from him would be nice. He bought me pie back from the restaurant today. Why would he do that?
  • CathiAnne
    CathiAnne Posts: 193 Member
    DO NOT LET YOUR SPOUSE'S LACK OF SUPPORT BE AN EXCUSE.....because that's all it is, an excuse. get your mind strong and rock this journey.
    [/quote]


    ^^^^ Agree wholeheartedly.
  • CathiAnne
    CathiAnne Posts: 193 Member
    He just doesn't get it by bringing you pie. Just quietly throw it away. You will be challenged by many, this is just one.
  • tracym17
    tracym17 Posts: 68 Member
    he may come round. I didnt have a lot of support to begin with, but it is better now I think because he has realised how much happier I am and that it's not a threat to him. You need to be determined and as others have said do it for you.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    possible with out spousal support? Am I wasting my time? My support at home is minimal at its best. And sometimes I feel like he is sabotaging me!!! We have been married 30 yrs, what is he afraid of??

    HELP ME HELP HIM BE SUPPORTIVE OF ME!!!

    This is your journey, do it for yourself!!..and your children! By asking yourself, "am i wasting my time" you are already looking for an excuse to fail. Don't even let your mind play that game with you. You can do this with out spousal support!

    Rid the house of all junk food
    Shop healthy and smart
    cook healthy meals
    take walks
    when you're discouraged...you can always find motivation here on the message boards!
  • Newf77
    Newf77 Posts: 802 Member
    It takes a lot of will power and when you do not have the home support it makes the journey slightly more difficult. You gotta take this journey for yourself. I do the grocery shopping and food preperation in my house so when it came to food it was here is what I made eat it, make your own or starve. Some spouses just need to see that this is not just another "fad" but once you are on the road and they see your comitment they may come around. Husbands are a strange breed we need small steps and lots of coaxing. Say alot of we, "Honey, I want to spend a long time with you. I think we need to try and eat healthier." "I know your day was long, can we take a walk to relax before we go to bed."
  • PMPB7
    PMPB7 Posts: 43 Member
    You absolutely have to do this for YOU first. The other reasons are valid as well, but this is personal. Usually when an individual decides to make such a big change in their lives, other issues tend rear their ugly heads. Deal with them one at a time, but stay as positive as possible and be the best you that you can be. Love your husband no matter what he does or does not do. He will get it after awhile. :) Praying for you.
  • Eponine7
    Eponine7 Posts: 161
    This isn't about him....it has to be all about you and your willpower.

    I say this because I understand. My husband is food-obsessed and naturally thin. He does not understand my issues with food, not will he alter his lifestyle and food choices because of me.

    In the beginning he would bring me home food (just like that pie you talked about) because he had no clue, or maybe didn't think I was serious.

    As you can see from my stats, I have been successful--and I've been on this journey for two years but constantly sticking up for myself and educating him in the process.

    It can be done...but you can't count on him for support. Just let it go. As soon as you expect nothing from him in this regard, you will be able to focus.

    Best of luck to you.
  • pshearer7777
    pshearer7777 Posts: 62 Member
    As others have said, you don't need his support, this is about you and getting healthy for you. By allowing him to sabotage what you are doing, you are effectively letting him shorten your life. I call BS.

    This user just posted a blog and forum topic about this this week. Her fiance was against what she was doing ... UNTIL SHE DID IT WITH SUCCESS. Now he's on board with her and doing work, too.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/baypathgradLyns/view/i-ve-created-a-monster-170095

    Maybe you can take some hope from that story.

    Either way, by succeeding at this, you win... with or without him.
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