Alone at Christmas

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LuciaLongIsland
LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
in Motivation and Support
I dont mean to depress or upset anyone.However, I need help for the holidays ,as I will be all alone. Thanksgiving is ok as I will be with my son and his gf. Christmas, I will be all alone as I have no family. My son is going far away to his girlfriends house which is far away. Yes I was invited but since I do not know her parents and also have to get a hotel room ,it is not possible for me at this time.

Friends, well, since I retired a few years ago, I am sad to say we really do not keep in touch.

Yes, I am in counseling, for other reasons and the suggestion was think of it as "just another day"..

I would appreciate it if anyone else is in this situation and could give me much needed advice or suggestions

I would greatly appreciated i.

Thank you.
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Replies

  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    This would be a really good time to reconnect with your friends. Just call them up and start talking and chatting.

    You could also go volunteer to feed others on the holidays. Talk about something really rewarding, that would do it!
  • moushtie
    moushtie Posts: 371 Member
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    Yes, find out about projects to feed homeless or elderly people. Then you'll have lots of people to share the day with, and you'll be putting a smile on their face :)
  • dippystick
    dippystick Posts: 168 Member
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    Do you have a hobby or craft that you enjoy? Take the Christmas holiday and pick a project of something that is really selfish and just for you and spend the 2-3 days working on it just for you. If you have a project that you've been wanting to make for yourself, those are good days to focus on it. Then you won't be focusing on being alone.

    On holidays when I'm alone I pick a small quilting project I can finish up in a day or two and just enjoy my time alone. Some years I've started a new just for me afghan. I don't have to worry about being interupted as everyone else is busy. I enjoy those days, sometimes even more than when I stressed about getting everyone together.
  • emilydmac
    emilydmac Posts: 382 Member
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    I agree- volunteer! Also- lots of communities and towns have a pancake breakfast or a community supper on Christmas for people who will be alone, look into it for your town, and then maybe you could spend the day making new friends!
  • VeganInTraining
    VeganInTraining Posts: 1,321 Member
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    This would be a really good time to reconnect with your friends. Just call them up and start talking and chatting.

    You could also go volunteer to feed others on the holidays. Talk about something really rewarding, that would do it!

    I definitely second the folunteering to feed the homeless and less fortunate. I am the type that can enjoy a meal alone so I would either take myself out for a nice meal or cook up a storm and enjoy it myself. Hugs!
  • DarkAngel525
    DarkAngel525 Posts: 135
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    I was alone for a couple holidays in the last few years as me and mom were in Houston and all my other family on the east coast. Those times I really looked into volunteering at the soup kitchen and local shelters. Not only did it take my mind off being home alone, but really gave me perspective on what it is like for those who truely have nothing. Most of the people I served were fun, grateful, and full of spirit, and every single time I did it, I went home happy and exhausted, with no other thoughts of being alone. I hope this helps. :flowerforyou:
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    Volunteer at a shelter, soup kitchen, hospital or nursing home
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    I echo the volunteering idea..what a great way to give back, and its a great way to remind yourself how fortunate you are! Plus, it might be a great way to make some new friends.
  • kmbrooks15
    kmbrooks15 Posts: 941 Member
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    Yes, find out about projects to feed homeless or elderly people. Then you'll have lots of people to share the day with, and you'll be putting a smile on their face :)

    I agree with this. You'd be amazed how many people in nursing homes have no one to visit them. Do you have a special talent you could share with them (singing, playing an instrument, doing arts/crafts, storytelling, etc.)? Nothing like seeing a lonely, forgotten person in a nursing home to help you forget your own troubles. There are also soup kitchens and such that feed homeless people; perhaps you could help out there. Another thought is to find children's homes (where they house kids waiting for a foster home) and volunteer there, but you need to go ahead and start the legwork for that now if you want to do it (they may require a background check for all workers). Giving back will help you forget that you're alone for the day, and it beats sitting home alone, tempted to eat all day!

    Good luck. I'm so sorry you have to be alone on the holiday, but I think there are things you could do to minimize the feeling of loneliness by giving back to the community. Nothing beats the feeling of giving back to someone less fortunate than you!
  • saffir27
    saffir27 Posts: 68 Member
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    The last two previous years I was unable to spend Christmas with family. What I did was treat Christmas Day as a normal day and then we selected a different day after the holidays to celebrate. My boyfriend and I have found we enjoy this tradition. We now have decided to celebrate Christmas after the Dec 25th from now on. That means even if I have to work I still have something to look forward to.

    I do suggest finding a volunteer opportunity for the day, just to get out of the house.
  • morganadk2_deleted
    morganadk2_deleted Posts: 1,696 Member
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    sombody once told me friendships are like plants , you need to give them some care , we all lead busy lives but need to make time for friends and ousrselves.

    if you don't get invited to some where then get involed with a charity, thats what i would do
  • Bigaug
    Bigaug Posts: 395 Member
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    Get involved in a church/synagogue/mosque/temple. Lots of people there in the same boat, lots of charities, lots of fellowship, and lots of activities.
  • lambeas
    lambeas Posts: 229 Member
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    Hey

    I spent two Christmas's alone... both including New Years. I think the trick to it, is to keep yourself busy
    and occupied. Rent a few movies ( NOT SAPPY ones that will depress you), paint your toe nails... if you can volunteer somewhere that
    is the BEST!
    Treat your self to a nice hot cocoa and walk around the 24th and watch all of the hustle & bustle at the mall & people watch.
    See if there is a free christmas concert in your area.. most churches have a kids concert & dinner that you could attend.. if not church, try a community centre.
    Wake up on the 25th and go for a run!... Don't see it as alone... see it as some serious R& R time and some quality you time.
    Make your favorite dish..( i love tex mex anything) made myself a HUGE Taco salad for dinner & watched National Lampoon's Christmas vacation.
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    Thank you all for the wonderful suggestions.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Thank you all for the wonderful suggestions.

    No worries! Let us know what you decide to do.
  • mrsbrown2k1
    mrsbrown2k1 Posts: 139
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    I have spend many Christmas's alone over the years. The first couple of years I was depressed and felt miserable the entire day. Then the next years I decided to make the best of it. I spent the day doing stuff that I loved to do. Like make it a PJ type of day, I made my favorite cookies, watched my favorite movies, took a long hot bath, drove around at night and look at christmas light and remembered the reason for the holiday. I would also turne off the phone as I found it too depressing & sad to talk with family friends on this day as they were celebrating with many people. Then the next day I'd open my presents and call everyone and wish them a late merry christmas.

    Looks like this year I am spending the day alone with my 3 yr old son. My husband is working...at the hospital. He informed me over the weekend that he'll go in on Saturday afternoon and spend the night and hopes to be home late Christmas night. It saddens me that he won't be with for Christmas Eve or there for Christmas morning with our son. But I am happy that he'll be that hospital helping all the sick children and hopefully bring happiness into there lives.

    I hope that you too can find happiness on this special day! Focus on the positive and not what your missing or that fact that you are alone.
  • wjranch
    wjranch Posts: 152
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    Absolutely Reach out... Volunteer.. There are so many fantastic organizations that are in Desperate need during the holiday season.... Not only do you get to help those who need it, but, you'll make NEW friends amongst the other volunteers!!

    You used to teach school right? Why not see about the local Library?? maybe they have a reading program or tutoring program that you would be beneficial to??

    Best of Luck
  • boston6
    boston6 Posts: 158 Member
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    I would volunteer. There are a lot of people in nursing homes who will be all alone this Christmas and would love to have someone to talk to.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Maybe this is time to get back in touch with your friends. I decided to stay home this year for Thanksgiving instead of going out of town as usual. And the boyfriend's parents are going out of town. So, I invited everyone I know in town (who I didn't know if they had plans already) and a few people are coming over for dinner.

    Not a huge crowd, but I won't be alone.
  • sunnyrunner23
    sunnyrunner23 Posts: 182 Member
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    A good place to call to see if they need some company is a nursing home or retirement home. Some of those people are alone at holiday time and would appreciate someone to chat with or play cards with or just sit and watch a movie together.

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