Wedding question...

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Learning2LoveMe
Learning2LoveMe Posts: 1,430 Member
in Chit-Chat
So my fiance and I finally picked a date for our wedding, and it's one with a little significance. The date we picked is our 10 year anniversary of when we started dating... so I check the calendar and it happens to fall on a tuesday. I immediately thought 'sweet, everything is more expensive on a weekend anyway so this will save money'... but what I didn't think about is the people who will come. Is it rude or inappropriate to have a wedding on a weekday? We are wanting an evening ceremony so I don't think it will cause a huge problem, but what are your thoughts? Would you go to a weekday wedding?
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  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    So my fiance and I finally picked a date for our wedding, and it's one with a little significance. The date we picked is our 10 year anniversary of when we started dating... so I check the calendar and it happens to fall on a tuesday. I immediately thought 'sweet, everything is more expensive on a weekend anyway so this will save money'... but what I didn't think about is the people who will come. Is it rude or inappropriate to have a wedding on a weekday? We are wanting an evening ceremony so I don't think it will cause a huge problem, but what are your thoughts? Would you go to a weekday wedding?

    I don't know that I'd call it rude or inappropriate, but I think it may be more difficult for guests to attend. People have to work the next day, kids may have school the following day, if people travel, this could prove more difficult. I may attend the wedding, just not the reception that follows.
  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
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    It depends. If I lived close, then it wouldn't be a big deal. If it was a wedding I'd have to travel to, probably not. It would just be too many days off work...
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,354 Member
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    My sister is getting married on a Monday afternoon. If you're worried about it, have a big party/reception on the weekend when more of your friends and family can come.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    I wouldn't call it rude, but be prepared for a smaller crowd. I would probably not go to a weekday wedding unless I was particularly close to the person.
  • bigfluffyjujubird
    bigfluffyjujubird Posts: 36
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    one of my mates is having a thursday wedding really short notice next month an hour and a halfs drive from me through traffic, i cant attend as i cant get the time off work as i would stay overnight so thats 2 days for my hubby to take off, i dont work fridays... if she had it on a friday it would have been easier

    if you give people plenty of warning it might be ok but a lot of people would want to take the weds off if they were partying, how about a Friday instead? Depends on the numbers really , why dont you ask some of your guests what they think try and get an honest opinion
  • ellisalockwood
    ellisalockwood Posts: 31
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    I would go to a weekday wedding for close friends or family. Having said that though, I got married the day after christmas, it was significant for us and the only way we could have the important family there, everyone else that mattered, showed up, not many stayed late, but they were there for the important part. The people that matter will do everything they can to attend. So it all depends on how big of a wedding YOU want. This is your day, it took me a long time before I snapped and stop planning my wedding around everyone else.
  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
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    I got married on a Thursday (it was our 12 year anniversary) but we also went to the JOP. I will say when we first got engaged and we were planning an actual wedding, we originally planned it for the Saturday after our anniversary. I think there are a number of things to keep in mind though.
    1) What month is it in? If it's March when the kids are in school then yes, it may be harder for some to travel. If it's the middle of the summer when people take a vacation they may be able to work it out.
    2) It's your wedding. Not anyone else's.
    3) While a weekday may be less expensive, can all your vendors (i.e. cake, photos) make it on a weekday?
    I agree with the statement to give everyone enough time to plan. Send out save the date cards in plenty of time and invites as well. The more notice you give everyone, the easier it will be for them to get there and share the day with you.
  • Learning2LoveMe
    Learning2LoveMe Posts: 1,430 Member
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    We never wanting a big wedding anyway (we're both introverts, and don't like crowds... and I really don't like being in the spotlight)... we were thinking about 50 people max. Also about 99% of all our family is in state, the most people would have to drive is across the city (about an hour), the only person who would really have to travel is my older sister - and I have no clue where she will be living at that time (her hubby is in the Marines and no idea where they will be stationed next until they come back from Vietnam next summer).
  • killerqueen17
    killerqueen17 Posts: 536 Member
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    Not necessarily rude, BUT you may have a lot of guests that are not able to make it, even if it is an evening wedding. Lots of your out-of-town guests would need at least 2 days off work, (probably 3).

    And of those who do come, they will probably not want to stay very late since they may need to work the next morning.

    Significant dates are fun, but if it's very important to you to have everyone there who you invited, it would be better to move it to the weekend. Even a Friday is better than a Tuesday...
  • allie864
    allie864 Posts: 298
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    If you're worried about it, have a big party/reception on the weekend when more of your friends and family can come.

    ^ Not a bad idea.
    I also don't think it's rude, and if you're okay with some people not being able to make it, then go for it. :)
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    I think it depends on the size of the affair and how far people have to travel.
    If its a small affair with your closest friends and family, then it doesn't matter.
    For everyone else, what you have done is added the cost of losing work to your wedding.
    So instead of a gift of $300 to you, they are also spending $400 or so that they would have made at work on that day.
  • Learning2LoveMe
    Learning2LoveMe Posts: 1,430 Member
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    I got married on a Thursday (it was our 12 year anniversary) but we also went to the JOP. I will say when we first got engaged and we were planning an actual wedding, we originally planned it for the Saturday after our anniversary. I think there are a number of things to keep in mind though.
    1) What month is it in? If it's March when the kids are in school then yes, it may be harder for some to travel. If it's the middle of the summer when people take a vacation they may be able to work it out.
    2) It's your wedding. Not anyone else's.
    3) While a weekday may be less expensive, can all your vendors (i.e. cake, photos) make it on a weekday?
    I agree with the statement to give everyone enough time to plan. Send out save the date cards in plenty of time and invites as well. The more notice you give everyone, the easier it will be for them to get there and share the day with you.

    Oooh I will have to check with vendors... I didn't even think about that! Our date is Aug 20th 2013... so it will either be right when kids start back up school or right before they start. But it's really still far out there so there is plenty of time to let everyone know so they can plan. I just get a little crazy in my head and think reaaaaally far ahead before I set anything in stone.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    You may alienate some people, but the most important ones will be there. They may still be a little grumpy about having to take off work though. :huh:

    I'm planning a restatement of vows, and my most desired date falls on a Monday. I've planned to do it the Saturday right before, so that everyone's travel plans will be easier. I think it's really important to be considerate of your guests. I just witnessed a yucky bridezilla situation.....ugh.

    I'd urge you to consider moving it to the weekend, but if your heart's set.....it's up to you.
  • Learning2LoveMe
    Learning2LoveMe Posts: 1,430 Member
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    Thank you all... I like the idea of having that day be the ceremony and hold the reception a few days later on friday.

    I think this will be discussed with my family at the table on thanksgiving, see how they feel about it. :bigsmile: I asked my bff what she thought and she says 'I don't care what day/time it is, I'll be there!'... hopefully everyone else feels the same.
  • starbucksbuzz
    starbucksbuzz Posts: 466 Member
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    We had ours on a Friday night, and really were fine with it limiting our crowd. The more people you have the more pricey it is anyways.
  • FatGirlSlim899
    FatGirlSlim899 Posts: 37 Member
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    Thank you all... I like the idea of having that day be the ceremony and hold the reception a few days later on friday.

    I think this will be discussed with my family at the table on thanksgiving, see how they feel about it. :bigsmile: I asked my bff what she thought and she says 'I don't care what day/time it is, I'll be there!'... hopefully everyone else feels the same.

    Honestly I would have it on the day you wanted, if my friend was getting married of course I would book the day off work to attend. I agree with the others, people that aren't as close will be likely put off, afterall sometimes with kids & work weekdays are hard to take off. However with enough notice I'm sure people will have time to plan for it, I'm getting married next year, and we've just sent out the save the dates- it's 6 months from now, so surely that's plenty of time! :happy:
  • falfal923
    falfal923 Posts: 80 Member
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    It's your day and also his. So do what makes you both happy. I personally a tuesday wedding may be hard for some to let loose. However, those who feel you both are special to them will take the time and celebrate with you whether its on a Tuesday or a Saturday. I highly recommend sending save the dates far enough in advance so people could take off work Tuesday and/or Wednesday. Another idea would be to get married on tuesday but then have your celebration on Sundays. They are typically a lot cheaper. Hope everything works out for you and your soon to be husband.
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    Our dating anniversary is Aug 22nd. I chose the weekend after that...then the reception place messed up our reservations and we had to move it to the weekend after THAT... ugh, at the time I thought it was the end of the world. 10 years later I am perfectly fine with it :)
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    My Daughter is getting Married on a Friday in February, because it's cheaper...that is the only reason, and it's THOUSANDS of pounds cheaper, not just a little. If people can't come then that is sad, but it's not rude of them to worry more about the fact that they are getting married and less about the party...after all, the WEDDING is the thing, not the free meal and drink for their friends and family....they are inviting 40 close friends and family to the day and that is it. XXX
  • killerqueen17
    killerqueen17 Posts: 536 Member
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    Honestly I would have it on the day you wanted, if my friend was getting married of course I would book the day off work to attend... However with enough notice I'm sure people will have time to plan for it,

    I see your point, and it is of course the OP's wedding, so her ultimate choce... but just important to keep in mind that not all people have the luxury of requesting a day off work. Some managers are jerks, and people who don't get paid time off may not be able to afford it anyway.

    I agree that people who are able to do so would request off with enough notice, but if someone is unable to get out of work, it doesn't mean that they don't care or that they didn't try hard enough... for some, it's just not always feasible!

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