Santa Claus

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FatassFairy
FatassFairy Posts: 166 Member
in Chit-Chat
okay my mother thinks is should tell my 12 year old autistic son that there is no santa claus. I am not at all sure how to do this.

to begin with i am not at all sure whether he believes or not, sometimes he says things that make me think he does not believe anymore, then he back tracks and talks like he does.

Her reasoning is we are going up to my brothers for christmas and she knows his one cousin his age no longer believes and is pretty sure the younger (by a year) does not either.

the questions should i tell him before we go,if so any advice on how?
or should i just let him pick it up from his cousins?

Replies

  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    That's a tough one. My son is 5 and has been asking crazy questions all year about Santa and the Easter Bunny. This year the night before Easter, he looked right at me and said, "What time are hiding the eggs mommy?" Stunned, I just said, "Don't you think there is an Easter Bunny who hides them?" He said, "I wish there was." And that was it. So recently he started saying things about Santa, and I thought he was going to ask if he was real but he just said the other day, "Santa is TOTALLY real." So we are sticking with it for now. Honestly I would let your son believe as long as he wants to, why take the fun out of it :) Happy Holidays!
  • DWilbanks
    DWilbanks Posts: 420 Member
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    My mother handled it by telling me that there were some people in the world that did not believe there was a Santa Claus. And that was ok for them to believe that. And that if I wanted to believe that, it was ok to.. but that Santa lives in the heart of everyone whether they choose to believe or not. That Santa wasn't just a person that delivers presents, he was Christmas spirit. I was eight at the time.
    This led me to believe there wasn't one, but I decided that I would believe just because I didn't want to take the chance . Of course, later on I found out because I caught her putting things under the tree one Christmas. But I can say I wasn't surprised to find it out for certain.

    Personally I think kids learn early from other children and way before they are 12.
  • CityOnAHill
    CityOnAHill Posts: 136 Member
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    I vividly remember a friend telling another friend that there was no Santa Claus. The friend that didn't already know that was devestated.

    I highly suggest explaining it to him one on one.
  • RhondaRowsell
    RhondaRowsell Posts: 33 Member
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    He's your son, not your mother's. You decide if you want to tell him or not. I just waited with all my kids 'til they figured it out themselves. Once they did, they got to help wrap presents and "play Santa for those less fortunate. I also have a couple of special children that I am raising and, while it took longer, it worked the same way for them.
  • txjulie
    txjulie Posts: 190 Member
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    Let him believe for as long as he does. My son is 11 & knows there is no Santa but the doubt was put there a few years ago by classmates. He might already know but I wouldn't stir the issue as the magic of the Santa mystery makes the holidays a little more fun.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I'd say "Hey, what do you think about Santa Claus?" And go from there. My kids learned from other kids. I never had to break it to them. They just came up and asked me if he was real. I said, "What do YOU think?" And they responded with their doubts. So I played into that. I said, "You're right. It seems kind of crazy to think one person could do all of that, huh?" And they're all "yeah" and then they asked "so is he real or isn't he?" I just said that if they want Santa Claus to be real, then he is. They didn't want to believe anymore. So I taught them the fine art of carrying on the tradition of "magic" for little kids.
  • 4thehardman
    4thehardman Posts: 731 Member
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    I think that if you don't lie to him then its a win-win, he gets to enjoy the holidays and you are not being untrue.
    My SIL told her daughter that some people believe in Santa (we always did the St Nichlaus instead anyway) just like some people believe in certain religious beings. We can't see them, we don't know if its true but if believing in them makes us be kind and grateful and true then it really doesn't matter what or who we believe in.
    NB: My neice did then ask if she could go to Santa church but I guess thats for a different discussion. She is only 8!
  • kristarablue
    kristarablue Posts: 707
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    Well I guess my first question is where is he on the spectrum, this does actually matter for a variety of reasons. Although I am of the belief that I allow them to come to me with questions, I never pushed santa but never denied him either. I am most certain that your son has heard that there is no santa from school... However when my son came to me last year to ask, I told him something like......there was St. Nick who was an actual person and the spirit of santa will always be around, and that is there a old big guy in an elf suit, no, but the spirit of giving and love, magic and giving will always be around at Christmas, then I put a spiritual/religious spin on it and he was super cool with it, I am sure I said more, but that is the gist of it. You can also front load your brother about the situation so he can talk to his children...good luck.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    I remember sitting down with my daughter with an encyclopedia with a great section on St Nicholas.... We looked up different countries and how St. Nicholas was documented in their cultures...

    I explained that even though he passed away so long ago, moms and dads carry on Santa's work of bringing peace and love to one another, helping those who cant help theirselves, bringing good cheer and smiles to those who could not afford to have a Christmas at home... Just like carrying on traditions, we keep Santa alive....

    My daughter handled it very well...
  • sandislim
    sandislim Posts: 264
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    He's your son, not your mother's. You decide if you want to tell him or not. I just waited with all my kids 'til they figured it out themselves. Once they did, they got to help wrap presents and "play Santa for those less fortunate. I also have a couple of special children that I am raising and, while it took longer, it worked the same way for them.

    Totally agree, its up to you not your mother. I'm going to let mine figure it out by themselves and let them enjoy a little 'magic' while it lasts. Reality is not nearly as exciting.
  • Secret_Agent_007
    Secret_Agent_007 Posts: 1,082
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    You mean .... huh? I'm confused ... who brought ... but the cookies ... the milk ... and the mfkn naughty list. I was on the mfkn naughty list like every goddamn year. Who makes the list anyways? Don't tell me theres no list. I'm gonna choke a b*tch if theres no list. Don't even get me started on the elves. Those little pricks used to haunt my dreams. *kitten*, the raindeer .... Can the raindeer even fly? I knew something was up with Florida. They don't even get snow for crying out loud.

    This is the Grinch's fault, isn't it? That little green bass turd has been up to something for years now. Sitting up in that cave scheming away, night after night. I bet HE'S responsible for this.


    Alright, I'm bored. Where IS everybody anyways? Good luck with your dilema. I think I'd let him believe and if asked, explain it as Santa lives in all of us. He's the spirit of giving that brings us joy to see happiness in others
  • 4thehardman
    4thehardman Posts: 731 Member
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    You mean .... huh? I'm confused ... who brought ... but the cookies ... the milk ... and the mfkn naughty list. I was on the mfkn naughty list like every goddamn year. Who makes the list anyways? Don't tell me theres no list. I'm gonna choke a b*tch if theres no list. Don't even get me started on the elves. Those little pricks used to haunt my dreams. *kitten*, the raindeer .... Can the raindeer even fly? I knew something was up with Florida. They don't even get snow for crying out loud.

    This is the Grinch's fault, isn't it? That little green bass turd has been up to something for years now. Sitting up in that cave scheming away, night after night. I bet HE'S responsible for this.


    Alright, I'm bored. Where IS everybody anyways? Good luck with your dilema. I think I'd let him believe and if asked, explain it as Santa lives in all of us. He's the spirit of giving that brings us joy to see happiness in others

    .......this is why even Store santa' s have to go through a careful screening process!

    Lol you made my day. Sad aren't I? but thanks!
  • FatassFairy
    FatassFairy Posts: 166 Member
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    He's your son, not your mother's. You decide if you want to tell him or not. I just waited with all my kids 'til they figured it out themselves. Once they did, they got to help wrap presents and "play Santa for those less fortunate. I also have a couple of special children that I am raising and, while it took longer, it worked the same way for them.

    Totally agree, its up to you not your mother. I'm going to let mine figure it out by themselves and let them enjoy a little 'magic' while it lasts. Reality is not nearly as exciting.

    her reasoning is that he will be upset hearing it from them, but i am not sure, he maybe be more accepting coming from them. as he is also at a stage right now, that he has issue with almost anything i say LOL , you know i ruin his life on a daily basis..

    will do a little more "feeling out" with him
  • dovesgate
    dovesgate Posts: 894 Member
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    I told my children that he is real if you believe in him.

    I also pointed out that Santa doesn't bring presents for those who don't believe.

    My children still believe in Santa at 10 and 8. :P
  • buckaroos30
    buckaroos30 Posts: 127 Member
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    I can tell you how I found out there wasn't a Santa and I was only 7 and it spoiled Christmas for me forever. I have much older brother & sisters and we were at my sisters home on Christmas eve and her kids were already in bed and she pulls out all these gifts to show our mother and the next day when we visited her home her kids had all those presents that Santa had BROUGHT well I was young but not stupid, I knew their mother bought those things. My Christmas's were never the same. So when my kids never believed there wasn't a Santa at our home if you stop beliening you stop recieving! simple as that. My sons are now 28 & 21 they never see their gift till Christmas morning and I like it like that.
  • TerraGirl17
    TerraGirl17 Posts: 275 Member
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    You mean .... huh? I'm confused ... who brought ... but the cookies ... the milk ... and the mfkn naughty list. I was on the mfkn naughty list like every goddamn year. Who makes the list anyways? Don't tell me theres no list. I'm gonna choke a b*tch if theres no list. Don't even get me started on the elves. Those little pricks used to haunt my dreams. *kitten*, the raindeer .... Can the raindeer even fly? I knew something was up with Florida. They don't even get snow for crying out loud.

    This is the Grinch's fault, isn't it? That little green bass turd has been up to something for years now. Sitting up in that cave scheming away, night after night. I bet HE'S responsible for this.


    Alright, I'm bored. Where IS everybody anyways? Good luck with your dilema. I think I'd let him believe and if asked, explain it as Santa lives in all of us. He's the spirit of giving that brings us joy to see happiness in others


    HAHA!!! This is why I LOVE having you on my friends list!! You make my day!!
  • alicollins74
    alicollins74 Posts: 335 Member
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    You mean .... huh? I'm confused ... who brought ... but the cookies ... the milk ... and the mfkn naughty list. I was on the mfkn naughty list like every goddamn year. Who makes the list anyways? Don't tell me theres no list. I'm gonna choke a b*tch if theres no list. Don't even get me started on the elves. Those little pricks used to haunt my dreams. *kitten*, the raindeer .... Can the raindeer even fly? I knew something was up with Florida. They don't even get snow for crying out loud.

    This is the Grinch's fault, isn't it? That little green bass turd has been up to something for years now. Sitting up in that cave scheming away, night after night. I bet HE'S responsible for this.


    Alright, I'm bored. Where IS everybody anyways? Good luck with your dilema. I think I'd let him believe and if asked, explain it as Santa lives in all of us. He's the spirit of giving that brings us joy to see happiness in others


    HAHA!!! This is why I LOVE having you on my friends list!! You make my day!!


    Hilarious!!! U crack me up!
  • laughingnome
    laughingnome Posts: 259 Member
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    Let him figure it out himself, innocence is a wonderful thing
  • 4thehardman
    4thehardman Posts: 731 Member
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    He is 12, I'd be thankful that the thing he believes in is Santa. I know having an autistic child is very challenging but I would say embrace the magic. He may have known for sometime that it is not Santa that visits but is going along with the gag because it gives him pleasure, sure his difficulties make it hard for him to understand why he likes to believe, under it all it may be because he also knows it gives you pleasure too. Maybe one day he will turn around and tell you that Santa doesn't exist, until then I'd smile at your Mother and tell her that you will tell your son that Santa does not exist when she can prove he doesn't!!!!!

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