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Seokie
Seokie Posts: 197 Member
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
I've been very good. I have struggled with binging/purging for a very long time now and I haven't for at least since 6 months. But today...just the pressure and stress I felt with all of my family over for Thanksgiving put me over. I didn't binge-

I ate a normal amount but now that everyone's gone, I finished cleaning up, but I can't sleep. I had to go and purge and now as guilty as I feel for that I feel like I can go to sleep.

The person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with passed away June of 2010 and a few of my cousins recently get engaged...something about all pf this pushed me over. I feel quite disgusted with myself for giving in when I've been so good...

Has anyone else gone through this? And how did you get over it?

Replies

  • hazelnut861
    hazelnut861 Posts: 390 Member
    I don't purge, but I do get self destructive. I think you need support. Someone to talk to like a friend or counselor. You need to find a new way to cope.
  • shovav91
    shovav91 Posts: 2,335 Member
    I'm so sorry you're dealing with so many difficult things at once. Eating disorders are nothing to think lightly of; they are dangerous and terrifying. I've noticed over the past several months that my anorexia was creeping back up on me. I was 5'9" and a healthy 135 pounds at the end of last school year, and I'm down to 105. At dinner this evening I came clean to my family and admitted to them and to myself what's been going on. Obviously they all had some idea, but it was the most scary and freeing things to be able to share my struggle with them after hiding it for so long. I suggest opening up to someone you trust. Building a support system is the first step to overcoming this horrible disorder. I'm praying for your strength love, I know you can beat this. Don't let the disorder control you. YOU CAN AND WILL WIN.
  • eddyca
    eddyca Posts: 153 Member
    I'm so proud of you for doing this! ^^^^
  • Seokie
    Seokie Posts: 197 Member
    Thanks for the advice but I don't feel comfortable telling friends or family...I know that just makes things more difficult in the long run but I can't.

    Now after yesterday its hard to keep food down - I thought yesterday would just be a one off, I didn't realize it would make me feel like nothing changed in the 6 months I was good.
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