family pressures

honu18
honu18 Posts: 294 Member
edited October 5 in Health and Weight Loss
I'm a college student--and just this past summer and this past semester I've gotten into a really healthy routine in terms of eating and working out. I work out about 6x a week for almost an hour and eat lots of fruits/veggies, protein/fiber, and things like that. However, I just came home for Thanksgiving break--where my mom and sister had cookies made, as well as tons of leftover Halloween candy, tons of other cookies/treats in the cabinets, of course the pie and everything--as well as just a bunch of stuff that's more carb heavy with very little protein and fiber, etc. I let myself enjoy Thanksgiving and ate a LOT. But, I'm home for the rest of the weekend--and my sister/family are concerned that I exercise too much (I was training for a race and just enjoy it!) and say I don't eat enough. I've gotten many comments from my family every time I see them that I'm too skinny and things like "oh you won't eat that anyways" or "oh right, I forgot you don't eat". As a result of that, I've given in to eating/snacking like my family does. I can't workout today, because my family knows how many days I worked out in a row prior to the race and I'm pretty sore. I see my sister just pop 4 or 5 cookies without remorse, and then I'm like "oh well she ate that many so I can eat like one or two". And I feel pressure to keep eating so they don't think I have a serious problem..because I don't think it is a problem to be healthy, but it's kind of ridiculous. I'm not too skinny--I eat more then most of them because I exercise so much and I eat some calorie dense foods (protein bars, etc). I just have a different lifestyle. Being home is so stressful for me for this reason. I already ate too much today so far! And I can't workout here! Am I being too crazy here? What should I do to survive the next 2 days?!

Replies

  • lmbame905
    lmbame905 Posts: 83 Member
    I need to know the answer to this.
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
    I am sure that is hard. I would invite them for a walk, or go to the mall and walk if the weather stinks. By 3 pm the crowds will be gone. I work out 6 days too, and I am not making any apologies. You might want to go and purchase some food that you want to eat or snack on.

    If you feel good about what you are doing, that is all that matters.

    Good luck.
  • Teliooo
    Teliooo Posts: 725 Member
    Could I have a bit more info? How much do you weigh etc? Also even if you are thin. That much not so nutritious food is not good for anyone. You should simply ignore their comments and do what YOU want. As long as there is no grain of truth in what that they, then it does not matter.
  • Figuringoutme
    Figuringoutme Posts: 330
    I'd say don't worry about it. Eat what ever you'd like. You want that cookie? Eat it!!

    I love me some cookies lol
  • gumigal82
    gumigal82 Posts: 350
    I do feel that you need to do what you want to do fitness/nutrition wise. Of course, that is easier said than done. Family is either critical about weight, or critical about weight loss/exercise goals! (Some even in the most loving of ways) I would eat a small dessert or make a"light" cocktail (or wine) on the holidays, but that is me.
    Also, if you are going to a family event-bring some "sneaky" dishes. (They are so tasty they don't know they are nutritious--such as ones that have healthy substitutions) Also, try to do some exercise on a holiday-even a simple walk, or a football game (for Thanksgiving) This can get others involved if they choose to be.
  • fyfi_fendir
    fyfi_fendir Posts: 64 Member
    It is hard to answer since we don't know your weight/size, etc. As far as we know, they may have legitimate concerns... They are unfortunately some people out there that goes from being overweight to not eat at all so the last thing we want to do is tell an anorexic person not too eat...

    That said, I agree with the previous person, cookies and other process food aren't good for anyone. So if you want 1 cookie, go for it, but don't eat it because you feel pressured. You have worked hard to get to this lifestyle, don't let anyone sabotage yourself. And if you want a cookie, just have one, not the whole pack...

    If it's too hard, I would just go out, find something to do outside, go to a movie, go for a walk, go see other friends...
    Setting proper boundaries with family is always the hardest, and they don't necessarily understand that you are not at the same place you use to be. And if you were overweight, well part of it was their fault too, so don't get sucked back in.

    Personally, I would say "OK, let's have a talk. Whether you agree or not with my choices, I would like you to stop commenting on my food intake. I have seen a doctor, he agrees with my nutrition and exercise, so I appreciate your concern but there is nothing to worry about" Be firm and leave if they don't respect your choices.
  • honu18
    honu18 Posts: 294 Member
    It is hard to answer since we don't know your weight/size, etc. As far as we know, they may have legitimate concerns... They are unfortunately some people out there that goes from being overweight to not eat at all so the last thing we want to do is tell an anorexic person not too eat...

    That said, I agree with the previous person, cookies and other process food aren't good for anyone. So if you want 1 cookie, go for it, but don't eat it because you feel pressured. You have worked hard to get to this lifestyle, don't let anyone sabotage yourself. And if you want a cookie, just have one, not the whole pack...

    If it's too hard, I would just go out, find something to do outside, go to a movie, go for a walk, go see other friends...
    Setting proper boundaries with family is always the hardest, and they don't necessarily understand that you are not at the same place you use to be. And if you were overweight, well part of it was their fault too, so don't get sucked back in.

    Personally, I would say "OK, let's have a talk. Whether you agree or not with my choices, I would like you to stop commenting on my food intake. I have seen a doctor, he agrees with my nutrition and exercise, so I appreciate your concern but there is nothing to worry about" Be firm and leave if they don't respect your choices.

    Thank you so much for your useful advice. I found this really comforting. I agree completely. I don't think I'm being unreasonable by not wanting to eat fatty, processed foods. I guess it's hard--I feel like I'm falling back into my lifestyle being back here because my family is not supportive. Maybe that's why I had the problem in the first place. That said, they're not overweight in the least, but I always had the smallest amount of willpower and evidently the lowest metabolism. I wasn't grossly overweight, but I was always the biggest one. And now I'm not. I'm at a very healthy BMI--it's about 20 and am in the best cardiovascular shape of my life. I have tried to justify my choices so many times, but they comment on how much I talk about food and am concerned about it, which is likely more than it should be, but I can't help it. I love healthy eating and giving my body what it needs, and don't like giving it things that aren't good for it--although sometimes, I get weak.
  • fyfi_fendir
    fyfi_fendir Posts: 64 Member
    Thank you so much for your useful advice. I found this really comforting. I agree completely. I don't think I'm being unreasonable by not wanting to eat fatty, processed foods. I guess it's hard--I feel like I'm falling back into my lifestyle being back here because my family is not supportive. Maybe that's why I had the problem in the first place. That said, they're not overweight in the least, but I always had the smallest amount of willpower and evidently the lowest metabolism. I wasn't grossly overweight, but I was always the biggest one. And now I'm not. I'm at a very healthy BMI--it's about 20 and am in the best cardiovascular shape of my life. I have tried to justify my choices so many times, but they comment on how much I talk about food and am concerned about it, which is likely more than it should be, but I can't help it. I love healthy eating and giving my body what it needs, and don't like giving it things that aren't good for it--although sometimes, I get weak.

    They may not be overweight but there is more to healthy food than weight. I have friends that are diabetic and are thinner than me. There is no telling how someone's artery looks like until it is too late. If they don't want to improve their diet, respect their choice and stick to what works for you. It is tough because on holidays, you are generally not the one cooking so indulge in the food that is on the table but remove dessert and other unnecessary stuff. And don't feel guilty or weak for eating some of it, take it as a reward for your hard work and when you leave, go back to your own routine.
    When I left for college and then came back there was also a gap that got created with my family, not regarding food, but somehow, I grew more than they did and things they would do and say wouldn't fit with the new me. Moving away gives you more perspective and at time it is hard. You have to accept that they are the way they are and they are family and balance it by finding friends that are more supportive of your lifestyle. I too speaks a lot about food, mostly because when you log your food, your awareness changes and also because it is an important matter to me...

    You are doing great, enjoy their presence, don't focus too much on food if they don't understand it and most of all, listen to your body. You have done an amazing job, keep it up!
  • shellimus
    shellimus Posts: 158 Member
    I say if you are making healthy choices and not taking it to an unhealthy extreme (which you already know if you are) then you should not apologize for skipping the junk food and working out while you are there. You are an example to them. People tease what they don't understand. Help them understand the importance of a healthy life. Don't back down or give in because they challenge you. Stand up to the challenge. Show them how to enjoy a holiday while remaining healthy. Enjoy the treats in moderation. As long as you are exercising and keeping track of what you are eating, you should be able to have some treats and still maintain a healthy life.

    That's my two-cents and pep talk for the day! :D
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