How would you react if...

PeaceLuvVeggies
PeaceLuvVeggies Posts: 375 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
I live with my boyfriend and four other people ]3 guys, one of the guys girlfriends, and one of the other guys girlfriends was here for Thanksgiving as well] in a house. Our friend from the army came back home for Thanksgiving. Yesterday he was all excited about going out to drink and what not. He invited my boyfriend, and I said he could go, but then my boyfriend changed his mind because my anxiety had been acting up all day. Anyway, I went to bed at around 9-10pm. My boyfriend usually has a knack for falling asleep at around 3 or 4am [he just does this on a daily basis]. Anyway, this morning I woke up and went downstairs to clean a frying pan so that I could make breakfast. When I got downstairs, the house was a mess. There were empty beer bottles all over the place, and on top of the table there were TWO boxes of condoms. One of them was open - and empty. The army friend was downstairs so I asked him wtf had happened. He said they had a huge party, and had a girl over. I was so angry. I find this so disrespectful. I don't think my boyfriend was involved in it [I trust him], but I find it so disrespectful that you would come to a friends house, throw a party, invite a girl over from a bar and most likely have sex with her not once, not twice but possibly three times while there are 3 other girls in the house sleeping.

How would you react? What do you think about this type of situation?

Replies

  • Justjoshin
    Justjoshin Posts: 999 Member
    Don't live with dirtbags and you don't need to deal with it? Just a thought.
  • brandimacleod
    brandimacleod Posts: 368 Member
    Thats the problem with living with other people. Sorry! But as long as your boyfriend didnt participate, then the only thing to do is not invite your army buddy to stay with you next time. Although one of the other room mates may invite him anyway and based on the room mate clause you have to let them. I would be completely grossed out though.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    she doesnt live with dirtbags, just had one over! lol anyway i would be totally pissed too! but lesson learned maybe he doesnt need to stay over again.
  • PeaceLuvVeggies
    PeaceLuvVeggies Posts: 375 Member
    she doesnt live with dirtbags, just had one over! lol anyway i would be totally pissed too! but lesson learned maybe he doesnt need to stay over again.

    THANK YOU!
  • Brandon74
    Brandon74 Posts: 453 Member
    I wouldn't allow that dude over there anymore. He would have to find another place to stay,
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
    You need to move out into your own place with your boyfriend-- or on your own. You live with 4 pigs (no offense, most men are pigs-- especially young men in groups--been there, done that). Just MHO.
  • jplucheck
    jplucheck Posts: 275 Member
    It may feel disrespectful to you, but maybe some of the other roommates gave him permission to go crazy and have fun. The hardest part about living with multiple people is all the compromising you have to do cause everyone lives differently. Hopefully your man wasn't involved and you don't have clean up after anyone cause thats where I would over react!
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    ugh...i have to say, I am thankful that I am now married and just live with my husband and son...roommate situations can always be so touchy!
  • nicehormones
    nicehormones Posts: 503 Member
    I'd be pissed if it were my place. Especially that they trashed the place and didn't bother cleaning up. I'd give him a huge piece of my mind so he wouldn't want to even come over again.
  • mistresseeyore
    mistresseeyore Posts: 579 Member
    I would talk to your boyfriend first, then the both of you sit down with military man, and tell him that you both don't appreciate him bring a stranger to your home. She could have killed all of you while you slept. It's disrespectful and dangerous to your home. Your other roommates may not back you, but it is important to tell this guy how you feel. Your boyfriend should back him. I don't care if the other roommates gave him permission "to go crazy and have fun," there are just some things you don't do at other people's houses. If he wanted sex, he should have gone to a Roach Motel.
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
    The thing I would instantly assume is one of the other roommates is totally ok with it. You seem to be living in an extremely busy house, with a lot of people. Based off that alone, id say you shouldnt feel to upset. If I was one of your roommates, I would have been totally fine with it, and told him go right ahead. The whole soldier thing also bodes for him. Just saying. Honestly I would have asked him to clean it up, and thats really all
  • eeeekie
    eeeekie Posts: 1,011 Member
    It may feel disrespectful to you, but maybe some of the other roommates gave him permission to go crazy and have fun. The hardest part about living with multiple people is all the compromising you have to do cause everyone lives differently. Hopefully your man wasn't involved and you don't have clean up after anyone cause thats where I would over react!

    agreed
  • jill___
    jill___ Posts: 188 Member
    Well, if your boyfriend and other room mates knew about the party, then I don't think it's disrespectful at all. I'm assuming your friend had permission from SOMEONE in the house.

    And regarding him having sex, yes... I think it's disrespectful to have sex in a friends house with some girl you picked up at the bar, but it sounds like your roommates gave him the go-ahead.
    You need to move out into your own place with your boyfriend-- or on your own. You live with 4 pigs (no offense, most men are pigs-- especially young men in groups--been there, done that). Just MHO.

    Most men are NOT pigs. I hate sexist remarks like this. You may have had experiences with misogynistic men, but don't generalize an entire gender, it's ignorant. Yes, some men are pigs... as are some women.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    I'd be pissed about the mess. I don't really see what difference it makes that there were three other girls sleeping in the house or how many times he had sex with her. He obviously had permission from people living in the house. You live there too, that means you trust those people to make decisions. If you feel like there ideals aren't in line with yours anymore then it's time for you to move on.
  • fit4mom
    fit4mom Posts: 1,352 Member
    Just because it's lawful (not against the law) doesn't make it profitable. You never know their might be some old laws on the book that were never taken away and forgotten about. Then all you need is the proof. :D
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
    Well, if your boyfriend and other room mates knew about the party, then I don't think it's disrespectful at all. I'm assuming your friend had permission from SOMEONE in the house.

    And regarding him having sex, yes... I think it's disrespectful to have sex in a friends house with some girl you picked up at the bar, but it sounds like your roommates gave him the go-ahead.
    You need to move out into your own place with your boyfriend-- or on your own. You live with 4 pigs (no offense, most men are pigs-- especially young men in groups--been there, done that). Just MHO.

    Most men are NOT pigs. I hate sexist remarks like this. You may have had experiences with misogynistic men, but don't generalize an entire gender, it's ignorant. Yes, some men are pigs... as are some women.


    Men are testosterone-driven. This biological fact makes men different from women. Show me a group of 5 20-something men who aren't "piggish" and I'll give you a dollar. My comments were said half playfully (I'm happily married to a great man, but even he can be a pig sometimes.) By nature, most men are competitive and sex-driven. I'm not even saying there is anything wrong with that. Perhaps the word "pig" is a loaded word. I've met many a men in my day, and at the end of each day, most of them display typical male behavior patterns. It's not a good or a bad thing-- it's a nature thing. They're just being men. That's not sexist--I'm not saying they're all *kitten*$, just that male behavior, especially male group behavior, isn't always desirable.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Just because it's lawful (not against the law) doesn't make it profitable. You never know their might be some old laws on the book that were never taken away and forgotten about. Then all you need is the proof. :D
    What are you suggesting? That it is somehow illegal to have sex in someone else's house?
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Well, if your boyfriend and other room mates knew about the party, then I don't think it's disrespectful at all. I'm assuming your friend had permission from SOMEONE in the house.

    And regarding him having sex, yes... I think it's disrespectful to have sex in a friends house with some girl you picked up at the bar, but it sounds like your roommates gave him the go-ahead.
    You need to move out into your own place with your boyfriend-- or on your own. You live with 4 pigs (no offense, most men are pigs-- especially young men in groups--been there, done that). Just MHO.

    Most men are NOT pigs. I hate sexist remarks like this. You may have had experiences with misogynistic men, but don't generalize an entire gender, it's ignorant. Yes, some men are pigs... as are some women.


    Men are testosterone-driven. This biological fact makes men different from women. Show me a group of 5 20-something men who aren't "piggish" and I'll give you a dollar. My comments were said half playfully (I'm happily married to a great man, but even he can be a pig sometimes.) By nature, most men are competitive and sex-driven. I'm not even saying there is anything wrong with that. Perhaps the word "pig" is a loaded word. I've met many a men in my day, and at the end of each day, most of them display typical male behavior patterns. It's not a good or a bad thing-- it's a nature thing. They're just being men. That's not sexist--I'm not saying they're all *kitten*$, just that male behavior, especially male group behavior, isn't always desirable.
    Don't try to act like your statement isn't offensive. Of course "pig" is a loaded word.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I would only be pissed if I was expected to clean up the mess. Otherwise... at least the dude used a condom - or three! - and the people who made the mess can clean it up their own damned selves.
  • fit4mom
    fit4mom Posts: 1,352 Member
    Just because it's lawful (not against the law) doesn't make it profitable. You never know their might be some old laws on the book that were never taken away and forgotten about. Then all you need is the proof. :D
    What are you suggesting? That it is somehow illegal to have sex in someone else's house?
    I was half joking. But their are some really old laws that are out there that are just plain weird.
    A law to reduce crime states: “It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.
    It's like playing a joke on someone who offended you. Guys are really good at this. I realize you are upset I wasn't trying to offend you. I apologize if I did.
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
    Well, if your boyfriend and other room mates knew about the party, then I don't think it's disrespectful at all. I'm assuming your friend had permission from SOMEONE in the house.

    And regarding him having sex, yes... I think it's disrespectful to have sex in a friends house with some girl you picked up at the bar, but it sounds like your roommates gave him the go-ahead.
    You need to move out into your own place with your boyfriend-- or on your own. You live with 4 pigs (no offense, most men are pigs-- especially young men in groups--been there, done that). Just MHO.

    Most men are NOT pigs. I hate sexist remarks like this. You may have had experiences with misogynistic men, but don't generalize an entire gender, it's ignorant. Yes, some men are pigs... as are some women.


    Men are testosterone-driven. This biological fact makes men different from women. Show me a group of 5 20-something men who aren't "piggish" and I'll give you a dollar. My comments were said half playfully (I'm happily married to a great man, but even he can be a pig sometimes.) By nature, most men are competitive and sex-driven. I'm not even saying there is anything wrong with that. Perhaps the word "pig" is a loaded word. I've met many a men in my day, and at the end of each day, most of them display typical male behavior patterns. It's not a good or a bad thing-- it's a nature thing. They're just being men. That's not sexist--I'm not saying they're all *kitten*$, just that male behavior, especially male group behavior, isn't always desirable.
    Don't try to act like your statement isn't offensive. Of course "pig" is a loaded word.

    It has humorous tones to me. I'm sorry you don't all have senses of humor that match mine. Good god.
  • fit4mom
    fit4mom Posts: 1,352 Member
    Just because it's lawful (not against the law) doesn't make it profitable. You never know their might be some old laws on the book that were never taken away and forgotten about. Then all you need is the proof. :D
    What are you suggesting? That it is somehow illegal to have sex in someone else's house?
    And actually it might be. Some states still have it on the books that any other position other than missionary style. So you never do know. Seriously if you need a good laugh (and it sounds like you do because that would be a really difficult situation to wake up to and endure) go check out dumb laws. Just google it. Some of them make me giggle.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,316 Member
    I suppose I would tape it, and send it to Springer.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    I would be fine with it, personally. It was a one time thing with a friend visiting. Ask your bf and roomies (or whomever gave the friend the green light) to clean up and move on.
  • fit4mom
    fit4mom Posts: 1,352 Member
    Actually their are implications here. Being that alcohol was involved something bad could have occurred. He did say it was a huge party which leads me to believe the house was filled with people. How did you sleep?
This discussion has been closed.

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