family support or not

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12skipafew99100
12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
in Motivation and Support
Do you guys have good support at home? Or are you on your own? I was talking all day about what my clories were and what I was going to eat. Then in the evenng when it came to having something that I did not plan, no one said anything. When I aske dmy husband later why he did not say anything I just got a Non-answer. My feelings are hurt. I know I have to be responsible for me but I don't understand the lack of support.

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  • rharris86dc
    rharris86dc Posts: 635 Member
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    It can be very awkward for someone to actually call you out when you deviate from what you already know is your plan.

    Many people think that is more critical than supportive.

    If you want your family to call you out when you are "cheating," you should probably tell them that is what you want them to do. Otherwise, they won't know that it is o.k. to do.

    And you are right, you have to be responsible for yourself. Dieting is hard, and if you can't control what you eat, nobody else is really going to be able to, either.

    Good luck!
  • ShrinkRapt451
    ShrinkRapt451 Posts: 447 Member
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    I dunno, maybe this is just me, but if my husband or family member saw me about to put something in my mouth that I really shouldn't be eating and said, "Dear, do you really want to eat that? You did say you were going to eat X and Y but not B," I would glare at them and scowl like the shamed 4-year-old I'd suddenly be feeling like. Which is why I wouldn't say something like that to someone else without explicit permission and instruction to do so. It could be that your family doesn't view saying something as "support" as much as "shaming" (or, in hubby's case, "a fast train to the doghouse"), and held back.

    It might help if you GAVE them explicit permission to slap your hand, so to speak. If you view that as support, and help them phrase it in a way that makes it less parental, they might be willing to do that for you. In the long run, though, you're right. You're the boss of you.
  • PANZERIA
    PANZERIA Posts: 471 Member
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    I wouldn't have started my weight loss journey if it wasn't for my fiance, who I moved in with a year ago. Before that, I lived with my dad and sister who both ate terribly and there was no support.

    Support is HUGE when it comes to weight loss. Weight loss is an important personal journey that you are doing for yourself and, at the end of the day, only you are accountable...but you still need to feel that love and support from the important people in your life. If you felt hurt, talk to your husband about it. See what he's feeling and what his thoughts are before jumping to conclusions. Talk to him and tell him how important this is for you and that you need him to be involved.
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    yep! my auntie does weight watchers and my mom is thin as a poll and is happy to see me in old clothes! the fiancee loves the weight loss but isnt fond of the time i spend on mfp! lol
  • pocomama
    pocomama Posts: 93 Member
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    At first I didnt really get a lot of support from my husband. In fact, I think he sort of resented what I was doing. As time went on and he realised that I am doing this and not forcing it upon him he kind of came around. He is still really bad about bringing things home from work like Ice Cream, or grabbing me a Pepsi on the way home when I haven't been drinking Pepsi in over 6 months. Even if he would just substitute it with a Pepsi Max I would appreciate it. He just doesnt seem to think, whereas every thought I seem to have in a day revolves around my weight loss.

    My mother on the other hand has become my biggest cheerleader which means so much to me because she has been my biggest critic for so long. She brags about me to everyone and will even call me to find out what I can eat when she is planning the menu for Sunday dinners. I went to get my nails done the other day and everyone in the salon made a big deal about me. I have been going there for 18 years. My mom had been in the day before and had apparently told everyone who would listen how hard I am working.

    My kids. OMG my kids are so awesome. They make such a huge deal about what I am doing and make comments to me all the time that boost my spirits. Even my 8 year old told my husband the other day that I am almost out of sugar free syrup and they needed to go get me some more so I would eat breakfast with the family.

    Sometimes it felt like I was doing this all alone, especially in the beginning. But when I lack support in real life I sure as heck find it here. Dont give up, and maybe try to realise that your husband likely wont think much about what you are doing. It isnt as big of a deal to him...yet.
  • Rocking_Robin
    Rocking_Robin Posts: 238 Member
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    My hubby is very supportive but if I grab something that is not a good choice he wouldnt come out and ask me what I was doing, he may think it but in the end it is my decision on what I do. My hubby is changing his lifestyle as well so that helps some. We talk about how our calories are going through out the day and discuss how to keep our salt in check and get all of our protein. This probably is no help to you...sorry.
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    sorry bout the no answer, thats unfair cause your doing something great for you and your family and its a shame its going un noticed, thankfully you have us! and we support ya no matter what!
  • groomchick
    groomchick Posts: 610 Member
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    My partner is supportive but clueless about food! He knows I low carb but has no idea what foods are high carb. He frequently invites me to something I cannot do that day and I just politely tell him I can't do that tonight. He is very understanding and is quick to suggeast something else. I am very fortunate.
  • thecrossfitter
    thecrossfitter Posts: 424 Member
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    I live with my boyfriend and he is supportive. It can be tough because he eats foods that I don't want to eat on a regular basis (Mac and cheese, tortilla chips etc) but we have a his cabinet for separate stuff he likes so I don't get distracted. I dont feel like he's judging me if I have a treat, but we've had conversations about what I would find supportive. I dont need it often (then he might feel uncomfortable doing it too much) but if I sit down with some ice cream and am eating way too much of it he'll light heartedly say, "Allright, D... What do you say we put that away?" and then I do and thank him! I don't think he'd have ever done that though if I didn't talk to him about it. (or if it were a common occurance)
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    Thanks guys..................maybe I should have a talk with all of them about what would help me. I wonder If I will be sorry. They might become the mom police. Not sure I want that either.
  • Scorpioangel
    Scorpioangel Posts: 951 Member
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    The fact that I didn't have a lot of support/understanding motivated me :)
  • OnMyWeigh464
    OnMyWeigh464 Posts: 447 Member
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    I have petty much zero support at home. My husband thinks that I eat too much salad. Too many veggies. If I have a meal sized salad he says things like "you're gonna eat all that?" My salads ARE big, yes. But they are usually lettuce, mushrooms, peppers and cucumbers and some kind of protein, whether it be eggs or chicken or tuna. And then a drizzle of salad dressing.

    Or else if I want a snack that is junk food he says "you don't need that" and he THINKS it's a supportive comment but it isn't.

    He doesn't even try.

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