for those who are not getting support from their SP, my NSV

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teagin2002
teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
in Motivation and Support
Good morning,

This NSV will help and help an encourage you to persevere even when he/she is being very difficult.

I have been working on loosing weight for years without any progress, finally I found something that worked. In the beginning he was ok with my loosing weight and dieting, then he started acting weird. Trying to give me excuses to break the diet and tempting me to cheat and stuff.
Then as I neared my ideal weight and started to turn heads, he started to act very possessive and jealous. He wasn't angry at the person looking at me, but angry at me. Keep in mind my hubby has never been upset about other men checking me out at all.
He started going through my clothes and prohibiting me from wearing some clothing (not because it was revealing, I don't dress that way, I think it was because it looked too good) and if I insisted on wearing the item he would fight with me all day about anything.
I reached my goal weight about 2 to 3 months ago, and only this last week something changed in him. He is buying me sexy clothes, not revealing just sexy. He is telling me, like he used to, proudly that another man was checking me out (like I care), I reply like always "no honey, he was checking you out". He is talking about loosing weight him self, and admitted to me that he was worried about me leaving him for someone else who looked better than he did. He said he had dreams about it all the time, and even though he is very proud of me and knows that I love him and would never leave, he still has those bad dreams of me leaving. So he is going to try to loose weight him self, and he wants me to help him.
I messed up yesterday and offered him a piece of carrot cake, his favorite, when I wouldn't eat it cause of the sugar and calories it had, he said no and then after we left the store lectured me on not supporting him. He said it took all his strength to leave that shop without it.
This last weekend we went clothes shopping, and he bought me everything I wanted, he said I earned it.

I have always been happy to be his wife, but now I am enjoying it too. :)
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Replies

  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    The title was supposed to read "for those who are not getting support from their SO, my NSV". I apologize to the non married couples, I do not think my relationship is better than yours or truer because I am married. Just needed to put that out.
  • nashkim
    nashkim Posts: 19
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    Wonderful! This is a huge problem. My husband used to not speak to me when I went to the gym. He was very insecure and still is at times, but over the past couple of years it has gotten better. I used to let it bother me a lot, but finally had to just tell myself, it's his problem and all I can do is take care of me.

    Glad to hear this! Kudos to you for persevering!
  • TWrecks1968
    TWrecks1968 Posts: 138 Member
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    That is a success. He obviously had some security issues to deal with before he could appreciate your success and see the possibilities for himself. Looks like you are an inspiration for him. Next time, though, if you wouldn't eat something because of the calories, don't offer it to him. You are on this journey together now. Wish you the best of success!
  • jakejacobsen
    jakejacobsen Posts: 595 Member
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    thats great!
  • twinsanity
    twinsanity Posts: 1,847 Member
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    I love your last sentence....'I've always been happy to be his wife, now I'm enjoying it, too!' That is awesome!

    Congrats on your achievement, you look fantastic. I'm glad he came around and opened up to you about what was going on with him. I'm so glad you're both working on this together now. Best of luck to the both of you!
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    I felt terrible about that. Over the years I just got used to him eating full fat and sugar, while I dieted. I will make sure he eats rite now that I know it is what he wants.
  • skwomp
    skwomp Posts: 5
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    Been trying for weeks, but can't figure out what NSV stands for! :smile:
  • Orvett
    Orvett Posts: 83
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    I've told my husband that he's going to become competitive once I start losing weight and building up running endurance. Sure enough he signed up for MFP and started doing my 30 day shred workouts. I LOVE IT! We are a team and this proves it. Everyday he says he can see a difference (whether it's true or not, it helps)
  • Orvett
    Orvett Posts: 83
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    Been trying for weeks, but can't figure out what NSV stands for! :smile:

    It means Non Scale Victory. basically like if you're clothes fit better or something along those lines.
  • MandyMarie01
    MandyMarie01 Posts: 448 Member
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    Good morning,

    This NSV will help and help an encourage you to persevere even when he/she is being very difficult.

    I have been working on loosing weight for years without any progress, finally I found something that worked. In the beginning he was ok with my loosing weight and dieting, then he started acting weird. Trying to give me excuses to break the diet and tempting me to cheat and stuff.
    Then as I neared my ideal weight and started to turn heads, he started to act very possessive and jealous. He wasn't angry at the person looking at me, but angry at me. Keep in mind my hubby has never been upset about other men checking me out at all.
    He started going through my clothes and prohibiting me from wearing some clothing (not because it was revealing, I don't dress that way, I think it was because it looked too good) and if I insisted on wearing the item he would fight with me all day about anything.
    I reached my goal weight about 2 to 3 months ago, and only this last week something changed in him. He is buying me sexy clothes, not revealing just sexy. He is telling me, like he used to, proudly that another man was checking me out (like I care), I reply like always "no honey, he was checking you out". He is talking about loosing weight him self, and admitted to me that he was worried about me leaving him for someone else who looked better than he did. He said he had dreams about it all the time, and even though he is very proud of me and knows that I love him and would never leave, he still has those bad dreams of me leaving. So he is going to try to loose weight him self, and he wants me to help him.
    I messed up yesterday and offered him a piece of carrot cake, his favorite, when I wouldn't eat it cause of the sugar and calories it had, he said no and then after we left the store lectured me on not supporting him. He said it took all his strength to leave that shop without it.
    This last weekend we went clothes shopping, and he bought me everything I wanted, he said I earned it.

    I have always been happy to be his wife, but now I am enjoying it too. :)

    that is great! I'm glad that he is better about it now :) keep encouraging him to lose weight and helping him there too. :)
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    He started going through my clothes and prohibiting me from wearing some clothing
    I beg your pardon?
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
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    NSV means Non Scale Victory. And you are amazing. Way to go!
  • skwomp
    skwomp Posts: 5
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    Mystery solved!! Thanks!
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    Please don't say anything bad about my hubby, that is not why I started this thread. He is my hubby and I am defensive and possessive over him, and if you don't understand that please keep it to your self.
  • bear_nakey
    bear_nakey Posts: 367 Member
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    I think it can be hard for a SO to get used to. . .it's a whole new you afterall. My husband was acting strangely and slightly distant too. Once I mention it to him, he had said he felt I was losing weight to get more attention. I told him it wasn't, it was because I need to for my health, and I want to look as good as I feel. He also expressed concerns about someone better than him coming along. I told him there was no one else for me but him!!! Ever since then, he has been wonderful!!! Even has been extra supportive in where and what we eat!!!
  • Scarbu
    Scarbu Posts: 15
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    That's great that he's motivated too-what a great victory!
  • Bonita_Lynne_58
    Bonita_Lynne_58 Posts: 2,845 Member
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    Please don't say anything bad about my hubby, that is not why I started this thread. He is my hubby and I am defensive and possessive over him, and if you don't understand that please keep it to your self.

    It's common for our significant others to have security issues. Your husband went through it and came out of it with the realization that you love him. Marriage is hard work but the pay off is worth it. Congrats to you for all you've accomplished and to him for beginning to take care of himself.

    Of course we defend those we love!
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    OK, have fun being controlled.

    Your response was uncalled for.
  • subela
    subela Posts: 76
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    The fact that your husband opened up and revealed his fears is a positive step toward a healthy relationship. Congrats to both of you!
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    OK, have fun being controlled.

    Your response was uncalled for.

    It seems this member gets off by being a judgemental *kitten*.

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