I'm afraid I'm getting obsessive

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jjsamp202
jjsamp202 Posts: 6
in Motivation and Support
Just what the title says. Since I started dieting, I think about calories and exercise more than anything else. I can't concentrate on things I used to really love, like reading a book, because I get distracted and end up aimlessly staring at my foodlog for the day. I lift up my shirt and stare at my body in the mirror at least 25 times a day. I look forward to logging my food and exercise more than anything else.

I used to enjoy exercise and not worry so much about my diet, but recently I had an experience where someone I love very much admitted that they wished I was a bit thinner. Since then my weight-loss has taken on an air of desperation. Not just the obsessive calorie-logging I mentioned before, but freaking out if I miss a day of exercise, working out so excessively that my body is sore 100% of the time, missing out on opportunities to be social because I would rather exercise, or because I'm just too depressed bout my body to go out. My brain doesn't go more than a minute without thinking about losing weight, and I can see myself getting more and more anxious and high-strung about it every day.

So the question is, where do I go from here? Do I force myself to take a holiday from MFP? Should I simply try to regulate my usage and be a bit more relaxed about logging every little teaspoon of this or gram of that? It's just hard to stop myself... Help ;_;

Replies

  • Luandanielle1979
    Luandanielle1979 Posts: 747 Member
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    Get help hun and speak to someone even if its about eating a healthier diet and just doing a little less exercise. The things you are saying doesnt sound like a healthy way to be. I think you must realise this as you have posted on here. I wish you loads of luck honey and seek advice before it consumes you x
  • sufikitkat
    sufikitkat Posts: 596 Member
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    It may not be my business...but who is the person that said that to you?? If it is a boyfriend or friend, I'm not so sure they are right for you. Regardless of who it is, I think the first step would be to let that person know jus how much that comment upset you. Being honest and straight forward with them can help a lot. Maybe they end up being just who you need to help you out! I too have been obsessive at times and I I let my boyfriend, friends, and mom all know. They all keep me in check about things and remind me of my own words "Its a lifestyle not a diet." When I hear those words, it snaps me back to reality. Its all about having a healthy lifestyle, not a diet. If you are able to afford to do so, seeing a counselor can also help tons. Good luck!
  • groomchick
    groomchick Posts: 610 Member
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    I can relate....I am working very hard to learn how not to obsess about all this.Learning to find balance. Staying on MFP and learning to let go and relax about all this is helping....Deep Breaths Baby!!
  • morganadk2_deleted
    morganadk2_deleted Posts: 1,696 Member
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    Get help hun and speak to someone even if its about eating a healthier diet and just doing a little less exercise. The things you are saying doesnt sound like a healthy way to be. I think you must realise this as you have posted on here. I wish you loads of luck honey and seek advice before it consumes you x

    this is good advise , please get professional help from somebody face to face. goood luck and good health
  • 1546mel
    1546mel Posts: 191
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    You have a problem now. Need to get help. Take a break for a week if you can, but if you are miserable doing so, then seek a professional. Good luck to you and care only what you think, not about what anyone else thinks :)
  • GotToChange
    GotToChange Posts: 6 Member
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    Ditto to what sufikitkat said!!!
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    You are making yourself miserable. Yes, I think you need to take a break from MFP. If that is actually you in your profile picture, you also don't appear to need to lose any weight. Beware of starting a really ugly roller coaster ride of weight gain and loss and food obsession.

    You are young and I'm going to give you a bit of advice that comes from a couple of decades of experience: you need to be happy with your own body and not change your appearance to please someone else. That includes keeping your hair long because your boyfriend likes it (and not because you do), losing or gaining weight, or changing anything else about yourself that you don't want to change. I got some of these kinds of things from my husband over the years and I finally told him that while I love him he doesn't have the right to dictate my appearance. I don't like my hair long, or blond, and I want my weight to be healthy and my body to be in shape. He either loves me for who I am, and how I want to look, or he can leave.
  • DBiddle69
    DBiddle69 Posts: 682 Member
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    Start with the most important person....what do you think of your weight? Do not concentrate so much on what others think of it just yourself. Are they someone who has been around you during this time?

    To help you get an honest opinion find someone who has not seen you for a while and see what they say...I promise it will be different. I recently went through a situation where I posted a picture on facebook and someone mentioned that I looked ill and maybe that was why the weight was coming off. Of course they have not seen me in person. So over thanksgiving I meet up with some friends who I had not seen since before my weight loss and they told me I looked healthy and great!

    As for the obsession I too was getting that way and what I decided to do was to stop and maintain my weight. This allowed me flexibility in the program. Of course I have added some cheating into the program…for example in my settings I said I was going to work out three times a week for 60 minutes and I am actually still doing 100 minutes. 

    Come the first of the year I will look at losing the last 10 lbs if I really think I need to!

    One more thing you can do…this is for me…send me some Yakisoba!!
  • Rachaelluvszipped
    Rachaelluvszipped Posts: 768 Member
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    I would seek out some kind of help...just like the others have said in previous posts...

    Here's a few questions for you..

    1) .Is this person, that said you needed to lose alittle more..also doing the workouts/diets with you?

    2) Is this person, In a fitness state of mind as well, as physical?

    3) As long as your doing what you need to do..shouldn't you love you for who you are, first and foremost..

    Your just putting yourself through some crazy obsessive torture....slow down.. I work out a ton..but I love it still..if your no longer loving it and feeling good about yourself..its time for a HUGE BREAK ...from MFP, from diet, from exercise...try it for a week...and see if you can adjust after that..but you still need to seek help....your going to end up hurting yourself, mentally and physically..going to exhaust yourself.. :sick:
  • cschu544
    cschu544 Posts: 320 Member
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    I understand where you're coming from, but it doesn't seem that you're in the same frame of mind the majority of us are here on MFP. This seems like it's a little more serious. There are eating disorders that we all obviously know about, which are anorexia, bulimia, etc, BUT there are dangerous ones that aren't well-known like exercise compulsion, or OCD. If you're missing meals, scrutinizing every calorie, unable to eat anything that you know isn't that great for you, and certainly burning off more than you are are in-taking--is a serious sign of an issue. Most of us have a bad body image, but we use MFP as a TOOL to help us make the right choices. This website isn't about making the bad ones, however we ALL have bad days. If you can't see any positive results in an otherwise rapid weight-loss, you do have an issue that you should talk to someone about. My MFP journey is one in which I can see success, and has helped me gain serious self-worth, and self-esteem. I love the website, and i LOVE working out. If you've reached a point where you no longer work-out or eat right because you WANT to, you are doing it because you HAVE to-- that's where the problem lies.

    And to go back to a previous point, if you are with someone who claims to love you-- it shouldn't matter if you're 100 pounds, or a thousand pounds. Someone that LOVES you would never, ever say anything like that to you. I think you also need to re-evaluate the people you choose to surround yourself with. You look GREAT! And you have made an incredible journey.

    Also- there is nothing wrong with taking a look at yourself in the mirror from time to time, I do it often-- but I do it because I love the results all my hard work has given me. I'm not doing it because I can see the fat here and there and I tell myself I look horrible. Negative self-talk won't help you, it will only hurt you. You need to listen to your body, when you're sore, you need to be eating the right things and drinking your water to help yourself recuperate. I'm not going to say stop working out and eating right, because I know that's hard to do when you've decided to make a life-change. But ask yourself if this IS a life change, or if this is something you're doing because your desperate, and tired of feeling lousy. I think before anyone starts a journey as powerful as this one, you need to sit down and figure out why you're doing it to begin with. If it's for anyone other than you and your health, you need to re-evaluate and focus on what the true issues might be.

    If you think about it, weight-loss is just the loss of body fat and the gain of muscle. It shouldn't be a dark, scary hell that you feel you need to be in every day of your life. You should be rejoicing for your victories, not punishing yourself because of your flaws.

    There is only so much self-talk I can preach to you, you're the one who has to figure out what's really going on--and get help. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you have an issue, in fact that's the first step. Please talk to someone professionally about this, because if you let it spiral out of control, you could be in for a terrible ride. :(

    Keep us updated--
  • jjsamp202
    jjsamp202 Posts: 6
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    Thanks so much to you all for your advice. I think I'm going to take a week long vacation from MFP and see how it feels. That, and have a good long talk about this with a close confident. Thanks again to everyone who replied!
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    I understand where you're coming from, but it doesn't seem that you're in the same frame of mind the majority of us are here on MFP. This seems like it's a little more serious. There are eating disorders that we all obviously know about, which are anorexia, bulimia, etc, BUT there are dangerous ones that aren't well-known like exercise compulsion, or OCD. If you're missing meals, scrutinizing every calorie, unable to eat anything that you know isn't that great for you, and certainly burning off more than you are are in-taking--is a serious sign of an issue. Most of us have a bad body image, but we use MFP as a TOOL to help us make the right choices. This website isn't about making the bad ones, however we ALL have bad days. If you can't see any positive results in an otherwise rapid weight-loss, you do have an issue that you should talk to someone about. My MFP journey is one in which I can see success, and has helped me gain serious self-worth, and self-esteem. I love the website, and i LOVE working out. If you've reached a point where you no longer work-out or eat right because you WANT to, you are doing it because you HAVE to-- that's where the problem lies.
    I'm not quoting the whole thing to save space, but this was an amazing post.

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