Judged Based Solely on Your Weight

StacySkinny
StacySkinny Posts: 984 Member
edited October 5 in Introduce Yourself
Today someone asked me if I've ever been discriminated against or had someone judge me based solely on my weight.

hahah Of course. :) You don't go through life being a fat girl and not get discriminated against based on your weight. Not in today's society anyway. Maybe if we lived in a world that was less brainwashed by the media to think that only girls who wear a size 6 and below are sexy and that anyone who is "overweight" is in serious trouble health wise. hahah But I won't get into that argument here. :)

In high school I had not one, not two, but three different guys over the course of 4 years tell me that they really like me and want to go out with me but their friends "wouldn't understand". Each time I was baffled by it, as I never thought of any of them in "that way" before then, we here just friends. And I never could figure out why they would even bother telling me that if they had no intention of ever doing anything about it. lol

One guy told me out of the blue, for no apparent reason, "I just want you to know, if things where different, if I thought my family and friends would understand, I would want to be with you." Pretty much the same thing was said by the other two, just worded differently. None of these guys where friends with each other and it spanned a 4 year period so I know it wasn't a game or trick (not that these guys would do that, they and I where pretty close friends).

If these guys had told me that and then tried to "get into my pants" secretly, I would understand the reasoning behind them telling me. I would know that they just wanted to secretly have sex with me without anyone knowing about it. But none of them ever tried anything. We just kept on being friends, they never made a pass at me or anything. And maybe they said that just to make me feel better about myself, but the look in their eyes and the even the pain on their faces told me that what they where saying was true. That they really did want me, want me in their lives, want to be my boyfriend, but couldn't handle knowing that there friends and family "wouldn't understand".

And of course I've had people not want to be my friend because of my weight. I've been turned down for jobs because of my weight. I get dirty looks when I go to the mall (usually it's young girls who give me the dirty looks - perhaps they are seeing their own worst nightmare lol). I've had strangers and even family members say really mean and rude things to me because of my weight. Not a week goes by that I don't get someone looking at me with a look of disgust in their eyes or on their face.

I wish it was just me. I wish I as the only one who's had to go through life like this. But it's not. It's many of you, too.

I love you all, my sisters with flabby arms, with "side rolls", with rounded faces that are "so pretty, if only you'd lose weight" (so our friends and families tell us). I'm here for you, be here for me too.


Hello, my name is Stacy and I'm a fat girl.

Replies

  • snowfox92
    snowfox92 Posts: 100 Member
    Hi Stacy! I'm Ashley and I'm a fat girl too :)
  • ellekay22
    ellekay22 Posts: 147 Member
    Hi. I'm Laura. I've always had a "pretty face." Too bad about my body.... :P
  • acstansell
    acstansell Posts: 567 Member
    Hello Stacy, I'm Angela, and I too am a fat girl.

    Those guys don't know what they are missing...
  • Angieee17
    Angieee17 Posts: 17 Member
    Congrats to you for the 43 pound loss!

    Hopefully this site will or has brought you a sense of community and support.

    Feel free to add me :)
  • I have a friend who is absolutely the prettiest girl inside and out that I have ever known...I would try to fix her up with some of my guy firends and they would all say,,,ya she is funny and pretty but geez she is soooooo.....you know.....uhm....ohhh I dont know FAT...needless to say it would break my heart and really make me mad....they would no longer be my friend...she finally met a guy who married her and loved her with all his heart (he is deceased now) and one time we were talking about this and he said and I quote " she is fat?" I never noticied....kinda like shallow hal when he was in his trance...bless his soul..
  • AdorablePanda
    AdorablePanda Posts: 125 Member
    Hi Stacy!

    I loved your post. And I know EXACTLY what you mean....
    Let's do it sista! Let's be healthier versions of our fantabulous selves!
    Cuz we are already fabulous! We just gotta show the world just HOW fabulous we are!
  • mandag9008
    mandag9008 Posts: 182 Member
    hi stacy, im manda and i am also a fat girl.
    but i love the curves and dudes are jerks. well the ones who act like that anyways!
    add me if youd like. !!!
  • kelley_lynn
    kelley_lynn Posts: 133 Member
    Hey stacy - Im a fat girl.. too. :D
    Loved this post. As i still come across this. Another site i visit. I came across this very recenently. Comment being,
    * big chicks are what folks prefer to take home to mother* smaller are just for yeh never mind, the over all point is. The same as yours.. For one reason or another.

    Now just to get folks to admit, size shouldnt be an issue, the only thing that makes it a issue, is, if you dont try.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    I have the reverse treatment from "overweight" people. Is that like reverse racism? They don't wanna be around me no matter how nice I am to them. They look at me all creepy when I smile at them. Like they're too cynical to take it as a sign of friendliness. No, I'm not laughing at you, I'm smiling at you... as in, "Hi, how ya doin'?" I'm refering to circle of friends and co-workers in general. I'd never look at somebody evil I don't know.

    Cept the guy thing. Guys are really clever with their excuses on why they don't want to "get with you". Instead of saying they just don't want to get with you, they'll say things like, "my family wouldn't understand... " And you don't have to be overweight to experience rejection from a dude.
  • Newf77
    Newf77 Posts: 802 Member
    Guy view, I had more than one girl who said "if you would loss some weight, I would be the perfect guy."
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
    congrats first on your loss. thats amazing. same issue here, not only was i overweight, but i was the brain, and after high school i had a lot of guys tell me, if it werent for my friends. high school is hard, i think its rude to tell me that after the fact, but i agree. i have thankfully lost the weight, but if you need me im here for you. i unfortunetely, as i said, lost the weight, but still see the fat girl. i wear a small size and still see her and im working on that. again, congrats on the weight loss. forget those guys, those family members, and those high school girls. for some reason, making fun of others, no matter what, makes people feel good about theirselves. i have a neighbor who is really overweight, and hes trying to lose weight and get healthier. and i had another neighbor say some rude comments. i told him, at least hes out there, and thats probably a main reason most of us dont exercise, at least outside. good luck to you.
  • HELLO!!....1ST TIME GETTING ON TODAY N NAVIGATING THRU.,.....N OH, YEA....IM A FAT GIRL TOO!!!...NO MATTER HOW MUCH WEIGHT U LOSE...SUMONE IS ALWAYS GOING TO "U USED TO B BIG"...LOL....I HEAR THAT NOW, WHEN PPL LOOK AT ME....LOL...IM NOT NN E WHERE CLOSE TO SKINNY N I WILL NEVER B....BUT, GOSH DARN IT!....IM ALWAYS GOING TO B LOOKED AT AS THE "FAT GIRL" FROM ELEMENTARY, GRADE N HIGH SCHOOL....N OH, LORD...DONT FORGET COLLEGE!.....YALL STAY IN PEACE N B MOTIVATED FOR YOURSELVES!!!!
  • stevwil41
    stevwil41 Posts: 608 Member
    Hi Stacy, I'm not a fat girl but I was really fat guy...now I'm sort of pleasantly stocky. Anyway, the "guy" version of being judged has always seemed to be not really being seen. For years people looked and me and saw the generic fat guy. Now that I've lost weight people seem to notice things that haven't changed at all.

    I do deliveries for work and I'm in and out of a lot of different businesses and see a lot of different people on a regular basis. I've had the same receptionist at a law firm tell me how much she loves my glasses 4 different times in the last month. They're the same glasses I've had for the last 3 years. She's seen them on average twice a week for the last 14 months.The only difference is that I've lost 60 lbs since May.

    One lady thought I'd been to the beach and had a tan and another actually asked me if I dyed my hair. There've been a few others but you get the idea. I'm sort of rambling but I found your post very interesting. It seems like a lot of girls get singled out for being heavy but I've always felt like I've been overlooked or dismissed because of it.

    Congratulations on your 43 lbs. I look forward to seeing your successes in the future.

    Steve
  • Hi Stacy! I'm a fat girl too!
    I've never even had anyone say they wanted to date me. Although one time I got a friend to ask a really good looking guy what he thought of me. He said some nice stuff, but he also said that "She really needs to take care of herself because what she is like physically is not acceptable for a girl."
    Ouch!

    Thinking back to Junior High gym class painful. I am really good at floor hockey, and pretty decent at soccer and basketball. Every time I got picked last. Even the girls that stood around and picked at their nails or run away when the ball/puck comes near them got pick before I did.

    There are other times, but I wont bore you! :happy:
  • StacySkinny
    StacySkinny Posts: 984 Member
    Thank you all for your wonderful feedback! I'm touched that some of you felt open enough to share some of your own experiences with judgement based on weight. I'm also pleased to see an inbox full of friend requests! You guys rock!
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