how do you help people that are killing themselves with food

meex
meex Posts: 135 Member
edited October 5 in Health and Weight Loss
My little bro is around 180kgs atm! He is 17, our mum is around 150 and her husband is about 160. All his life and mine too mum has fed us to the point of exploding but she particularly fed him ALOT. Over the years doctors have tried to intervene but mum is so stubborn she wont let anyone help nor does she want help or think she needs it. My question is how do you get someone like that to change their ways? I fear in their house now they are all just eating themselves into an early grave and no one can do anything to stop it. That's the only thing my little brother knows and although he says he wants to lose weight he really has NO motivation what so ever and doesn't want to eat healthy or exercise!
Any advice?

Replies

  • speedy001
    speedy001 Posts: 91 Member
    All you can do is set a great example that being healthy is fun and hope they catch on. Not a bad idea to "accidentally" leave a copy of mens health or your food report from MFP or any other information you feel would be read if it were lying around either. Watching the biggest loser together. Give lots of options and being there in a non judgmental way will make it easy for your family to seek your help and listen.
  • aurie024
    aurie024 Posts: 63 Member
    Honestly, they have to want to help themselves. You can sit down with them and tell them your concerns and give them facts as to what will happen if they don't change their bad habits. Have a plan already made up for them and tell them you will be there to help them every step of the way and it's something you want to do together. She them that you can eat healthy food that is still delicious.
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,261 Member
    Generally legal action is a good wake up call.
  • Radcliffe83
    Radcliffe83 Posts: 82
    Not very good at using Kilos. Almost passed out when I worked that out to be 28 stone. At 17 this is a lot!

    I am all out of ideas on this one. I was overweight as a teen, up until around 18 when I decided to eat less and move more.

    Simply put, he needs to want to lose it and then learn what he needs to do to lose.

    I hope for his sake he wakes up to the ticking time bomb...
  • Galletakek
    Galletakek Posts: 285
    .. maybe sit down with him and watch TLCS show.. so he can see how bad it can get : / not sure if it will help if he sees it .. but sometimes ppl need to see and not hear what could happen.... but at the end of the day.. He has to want it :(.. so sweet of you to want to help him :).

    here is the link if you want to know more...

    http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/700-lbs-man-new-diet.html
  • shazbag1967
    shazbag1967 Posts: 2
    My partner is nearly 28st and has had weight loss surgery to get down to this but now seems to be back to pressing the self destruct button nothing i do or the dietician or doctors suggest help and it is ruining our relationship sometimes u just have to let people realise in there own time
  • emergencytennis
    emergencytennis Posts: 864 Member
    You must be so worried about your family. I feel very sorry for you. Others have given some good advice. He is a teenager with a teenager's sense of invincibility, so maybe try shock tactics? Mortality statistics for young people his size? It might be too scary for you personally.

    I sometimes get the sense that very overweight people can't believe that they can attain a healthy weight, and so they just feel they have to make the best of it. Maybe some of the success stories on here can be used as proof that a healthy weight is possible for anyone who wants it.
  • Jupitermermaid
    Jupitermermaid Posts: 270 Member
    I know how you feel. My entire family ( 7 brothers and sisters) are obese. Even my "baby" brother, who is 9 years younger than me, has a hard time walking around because he's so round. This was the first year they did not get "on" me, or tease me about the smaller portions of food I had during Thanksgiving. They knew I could say something about my being healthier and able to get around while they huff and puff getting out of their seat to go back to the kitchen. I hate it, and wish they would take better care of themselves, but they know what they're doing to themselves and choose that way of life. We can only hope they see what they're doing to themselves and hope they change before it's too late. My heart goes out to you. Continue to be a role model for them and hope they come around.
  • taramaureen
    taramaureen Posts: 569 Member
    This is going to be an unpopular post but you don't. Unless they come to you for help you don't help them. Period. It takes an inner change to want to be healthier. If they do not have that inner drive nothing you do will "help" them. Support them, listen to them, and lead by example. It's all you can do and not risk your relationship with them.

    Trust me I feel your pain, but weight loss is a very personal thing and your friendly "concern" could come off as condecending since you have "now lost some weight".
  • Lollops
    Lollops Posts: 85 Member
    I think one of the most effective things would be to talk to your mum. If you can make her realise how bad all of this is, and how unhealthy her family is, perhaps that would make her want to make everyone healthy.

    Talk about how much happier they would be if they lost weight, make sure she realises there is more to life than food, and exercise can be fun.

    Perhaps ask her to do it with you? You could go to a dance class together or do a workout dvd together. You could cook interesting, healthy meals together.

    I think she needs to realise that she is killing her son. She might as well be putting poison in his food.

    Show her this video:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S30ooGg65E

    To show her how unhappy your brother will be once he grows up, and probably is now. When she is gone and your brother is an adult, he will probably be all alone. If he loses weight and becomes healthy, he has a much greater shot at having a family of his own one day. I see so many lonely obese men walking around on their own, I hope this won't happen to your brother.

    Good luck, keep us informed! <3
  • Lollops
    Lollops Posts: 85 Member
    And this video too:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7JvMJ8PS-Q&amp;feature=relmfu

    To show how distraught and regretful the mother is, and how she says if she had another child "They wouldn't even know what a burger is"

    <3
  • graysmom2005
    graysmom2005 Posts: 1,882 Member
    I wish I had an answer to this. My inlaws...father in law particularly...is absolutely killing themselves with food. High blood pressure, heart stints, diabetes, high cholesterol...you name it...he's got it...and he refuses to eat well even though he has had heart stints put in TWICE. In the end it's only them who can make the decision. I have talked to him, his dr's have talked to him..etc...but it's up to him..and he isn't changing. :-(
  • meex
    meex Posts: 135 Member
    I don't live at home so its hard to have much influence
This discussion has been closed.

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