30 lbs need motivation!

Hello, I always used to be 115-120 pounds, so I was used to be thin and really proud of my body! After a bad break up: my life changed from going to the gym almost daily and not even looking at fried food, to nights of partying, going out to restaurants and late night fatty food!

I have put on around 20 pound in a year, with some yoyo diet, untill I met my fiancé, over a year ago, and i managed to lose few pounds and i was 130, I still got to enjoy going to the beach and feeling attractive!

Once the summer was over, I came back to the US ( long distance relationship), I couldn't stop my bad habits, and put on all the weight back and another 10 pounds!

We got engaged this summer and looking at my engagemend pictures, i almost cried, I spent my whole life being thin and thinking i was attractive, and now for one of my biggest day, I had no self confidence, I looked so puffy ( from all the alcohol and the salty food).. thats what I will have as souvenirs for the rest of my life!

Plus I spent 2 months back home, I did'nt put a bikini on once, I was disgusted by this body, while I come from a mediterranean country that obsessed over beauty!!
I didn't even enjoy my 2 month vacation with my bf!!!!!!!! I couldn't enjoy even my day as I was so uncomfortable !!!

My wedding is this coming summer and I refuse to do that to myself again! I want my confidence back, wear my old clothes and not only my 4 black outfits that consist on legging and baggy tops, bc I refused to buy a new wardrobe that is 3 size up!!

Last time I weighed myself I was 145lb and I know I gained some more pounds since, but I don't have to courage to step on a scale ! I would like to go back to 120lbs!

I really need help to stay motivated!!! I have a gym membership, I know how to be in shape, I just need to stick with it!!

Who would like to join me?!!

Thank you!
Tali!!