The psychological aspect!

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markwhiteII
markwhiteII Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
I have joined a group through the Veterans Administration. I just can not seem to beat the mind game in all of this. I have made strides in my weightloss, but now find myself on the brink of repeating bad habits. I am logging in and going to group, but the drive is not there. I seem to self destruct. I get so DAM* PO'ed at myself and continue to break the successful cycle that has been working for me. Food is so powerful the feeling I get while consuming the most unhealthy foods is euphoric followed by such a sense of self loathing. I started at 372 on my own I put myself back into what I would of encountered in the Army, and that is a WE DO NOT TOLERATE FAT BODIES mentality. I made it to 265. I started to climb back through the 270's to 281. WTF not the dreaded regain again. I ate sugar cookies last night F'ing sugar cookies where does it come from. I abandoned my Apples, Oranges and cheese sticks. I had no craving, just sat down and ate them. I vowed to catch myself. I am self aware I know what I need to do. STOP the slide the destruction of our success. I just can not seem to get over this. I sat on the couch for 4 days not wanting to walk or lift. I feel I get into this depressed state and find reasons not to want to do anything. I am making myself aware. This is a battle one I want to win. Are these ups and downs similiar to all who begin this path? I felt so good walking daily sometimes twice a day. I remember the good feeling I had at those times trying to reign that feeling in. DON'T go it alone. It is a struggle and I only have the once a week group as my support. I at times feel such a mess. I want to end the excuses. I want to scream. I want to just fight the world.

Ok a rant but i needed this!!! If others feel the same way feel free to add me as a friend. I am stuck at 277 now, but just forced myself back into my gym. I need to get the menu figured back out. I need a god swift kick in the Butt.

Replies

  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    let it go...

    dont feel that you are forcing yourself back to the gym...tell yourself, correctly, that you are rewarding yourself...your body wants to exercise (move around)...that is what it is made for....think positive.....when you see you are having negative thoughts.....look at them and ask why?

    an easy way to get rid of negative thoughts is require that they have a purpose

    good luck
  • EReeves2
    EReeves2 Posts: 34 Member
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    Markwhitell,
    I really do understand your rant. I fight the same battles myself. I *KNOW* what I should be doing and when I am doing it (eating right, exercising as I should), I feel GREAT. I get excited. I find myself being motivation to other people. Everything is going well & I get in a groove that makes it easy to live healthfully.

    And then I get off track for 1 meal...not even for a full day....and whammo, all motivation & drive is gone. I can try to force it but I end up battling with myself to stay on track and inevitably, I start gaining weight back.

    Ugh...the on & off again thing makes me crazy! Right now I've gained back about 2.5 lbs & I haven't changed my weigh-in on here because I am mad at myself & don't want to admit that I've screwed up!

    I know I didn't answer any questions for you but I wanted you to know you're not alone. The psychological end of this weight loss battle is huge. I would venture to say that it's the hardest part. Working out & eating right can be hard, but if you're in the right place mentally you can do it. It's just a matter of getting into the right place mentally to make it happen!

    Hang in there!
  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
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    Wow, I think we can all feel your sentiments to a degree in our own struggles. The more I have done this, the more I feel like it is like an AA program; one day at a time. If you mess it up really bad one day, don't let that effect you when you wake up. Shrug it off lose the guilt, and vow to make today a better day. At least you are aware, that is half the battle. Good luck Brother, and tear off that rearview mirror.
  • gary8964
    gary8964 Posts: 69
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    First off, Thank You for Your Service. I was also turned on to this sight through the VA. It is a great tool, but that is just what it is.. a tool. The support is excellent as well as most of the topics. Judging by your post, it sounds like your mission (Why are you doing this) isn't clearly defined. I believe that once that is clearly defined, it will become much easier for you to stay motivated. That is what works for me. My goal (short term) is to have my Dr. take me off of one of the two meds I'm currently on for high cholesterol. Long term, it's to get within a healthy BMI. Two cents from a former 19K (tanker) 1982-1991 US ARMY
  • czechsmate
    czechsmate Posts: 556 Member
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    You can do this, please don't give up! Just keep focused on your reason's for starting this. You want to be healthy and happy for yourself and your family, you want to live longer and you don't want to be part of the increasing population of unhealthy overweight people. Push yourself to get out and exercise some way/any way each day...make good choices with your food and keep within your calorie goals. I believe after a while it will become habit and your will feel so much better, keep it positive and I believe you will be successful. We all hit bumps in the road and if you do then just jump back on the wagon again...you can do this!! Bless you and thank you for your service. My husband is a Vet, my Dad was as well and my Son has been serving in the USAF for the past 9 years!

    Feel free to friend me if you like, I will give you all the support and motivation I can :smile:
  • meli_medina
    meli_medina Posts: 594 Member
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    Hi Mark! :)

    Thank you so much for your service to this country. We all owe you a great debt of gratitude that can never be fully repaid. I completely understand your mental struggle with food. I have done the on-again-off-again diet thing and have lost and gained the same 30 pounds numerous times throughout my life. This last time, I have decided that I was going to break the cycle that I've been practicing, which is putting foods into categories and cutting things out of my diet from the "bad" category, until I would crave an item so badly that I would eventually binge on it because I wanted it so badly.

    In order to have a healthy relationship with ourselves, we also have to have a healthy relationship with food. I recommend cutting the "good" and "bad" mentality and going from there. There is nothing wrong with eating a donut or a piece of pizza if you can work those calories into your day. I don't recommend using food as a reward, obviously, but there is nothing wrong with saying, "I have made really good food choices today, and since it fits into my calories for the day, I am going to have 1/2 a cup of ice cream."

    Trust me, I understand that when you feel like you have no control over your consumption of a product, you just want to eliminate it from your life. There are certain foods that trigger the same things for me, and I only allow myself to be exposed to small amounts of it at a time so that I can't binge on it. And for a time, you may have to put them on a "no" list until you feel like you can manage being exposed to it.

    But the most important part is that if you do slip to not beat yourself up over it. We are all human and we are all tempted by so many things, be it food, drugs, shopping, or any other healthy or unhealthy outlet. The only problem with food is that we cannot abstain from it completely. We have to reteach ourselves how to have a healthy relationship with it - all of it - in order to be able to do this successfully!

    Good luck to you!
  • SHDenver
    SHDenver Posts: 87 Member
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    I can understand where you're coming from Mark. I definitely have in the past started things strong, with tons of motivation and a steel resolve to keep at the plan I put in place, then I begin allowing things to go out of control and do little to stop it. I've watched feeling almost like a 3rd party as I've let my plans fail. As I've stated in other posts I tend to have an "all or nothing" attitude around food. I'm working on getting to a place where one thing I consider not in my health plan does not derail me for 3, 6, 9 months.

    Now that I've worked on the food for a month I want to begin incorporating more exercise. I also see myself doing what you describe, allowing myself to watch tv rather than get up and do something. It's like there's this invisible force holding me back. (I realize fully that the invisible force is my own choice not to get up and move.) And it's not that I haven't made great strides in exercise, but that mental block is powerful. That fear of success is even more powerful. It's a mind-*kitten* plane and simple, one that we have to make the choice to get past. In the mean-time, use this place as support to keep with your goals, your mind will eventually catch up. It sounds like you're already pushing back at the part of you that's holding you back. We really are stronger than those thoughts, they're just really good at making us think we're not.

    Here's to all of us beating the unhealthy parts of our mind. :)
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
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    This is what I did. It sounds like you go all out, lose weight then give in. I made small adjustments to my diet that I feel I could sustain. ie... old = wendy's burgers + fries + coke. Replaced them with Subway footlongs. Turkey or black forest ham. They have specials this month too. THAT is something I can sustain. Breakfast and dinner was about the same. But I did re-arrange the dinner portions. ie.. meat=same. Rice = small portion Veggies = large portion.

    I always liked to lift. But instead of just doing a lift, waiting 5 min, then doing another set, I triple set all my lifts. ie.. bench, pullups, jump ups = one set. I sweat like crazy and get my lifting out of the way in 30-40 min. Then I do a bit of cardio. jumprope or treadmill for another 20-30. That I can sustain.

    Once this routine sets in, I examined my diet on here to see for other easy adjustments. ie.. for my protein shake, I use almond milk (no sugar version) vs 2% (9 grams fo sugar). I taste no difference and save calories.

    The harder bullet was to try to eat more salads. I started out with Wendy's salads (not that great but better than burgers). Then started to make my own. Still not very satisfying. But adding an apple and some nuts to it, really helps make them filling and taste better.

    You might not make huge fast changes this way, but they will make a difference and they will stick with you
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
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    Are these ups and downs similiar to all who begin this path?

    In a word, YES. . .Not sure when you put on weight, but I've always been overweight, and it is a struggle. A struggle because I am essentially trying to undo 20years of bad habits in a year or two, and make new behaviors my new habits for the rest of my life. So yes, it is hard, and I lose motivation, but then I take a step back, sometimes more (a week or more) and then get to it again. Quitting is never an option, but taking a rest while knowing you plan to get back to work, that is the best thing one can do for themselves. Good Luck, you'll do well
  • markwhiteII
    markwhiteII Posts: 9
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    Thank you! The VA psych team has the same advise and I am doing just as you say catching and reconditioning my thought processes. I thank you for the encouragement. First step is underway I am catching myself. Thank you.
  • amyindm
    amyindm Posts: 93 Member
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    Good for you for recognizing that you are falling into a place where you don't want to be. Depression falls upon me this time of year and I have to fight against it. I want to lie around and eat. But what keeps me from falling into the pit is taking care of my body. It's a changing of your framing of the issue that helps... or at least helps me. A friend passed it along to me: instead of looking at my workouts as a form of punishment to get rid of the "fat me" I came to see them as a way to love my body and take care of it. Having the idea that you'll never have another cookie or another burger is a set-up for failure but looking at them as an occasional treat and rather just not part of the way you live daily - because you care about your health - helps me when I am surrounded by (yummy) junk. And like anything, it's a habit. WHenver I've fallen out of my healthy habits it takes awhile to really embrace them again. About a month with really taking care of my body and resisting old patterns helpd me break out of the cycle. I started not craving the sugar and empty calories. Once in awhile I do and then I have a little bit. And it's enough. Once in awhile I'll have a big greasy burger and love it. But then the next day I go back to living the way that makes me feel better inside.

    There's no simple solution or fix but I think you're on the right track - you are seeking support and facing your challenges. That makes all the difference! Go for it!

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