How do you eat healthy with a s/o that eats everything?

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darthjen
darthjen Posts: 29 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
My beau eats everything (bad for you) in sight and the lucky booger stays relatively thin thanks to Army physical training every morning. I've seen him go through an entire box of fruit snacks, half a box of cinnamon toast crunch, eat a whole package of bacon and eat his regular meals for the day usually with second helpings. He dislikes most vegetables and will only eat blueberries and strawberries for fruit. It's such a headache to cook for myself and then cook for him after - financially too. I'd make him cook most of his meals on his own but he'd probably burn the kitchen down because it's not his thing.

Any tips on how you all manage? I really dislike making six different meals each day.

Replies

  • TundraTed
    TundraTed Posts: 254 Member
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    This is a huge challenge for me as well. My wife eats pretty much whatever she wants and I am eating healthy. We also have a picky 4 year old.

    I do most of the cooking so I make what I will eat and try to modify things for her and my daughter. For example I will make Stir Fry, and then make both brown and white rice. I will cook some chicken nuggets in the oven, make a bag of steamed veggies, and mac and cheese. I will not eat the mac and cheese, just chicken and veggies. I try to do healthy main dishes they will like, and then a side they will like that I just don't eat and sub with veggies or salad. It has worked well for the most part.

    If you have not checked it out yet, www.skinnytaste.com has a ton of good recipes that are healthy and tasty that most people would not guess are healthy. I have made a number of those items and they have been big hits.

    Fish, Chicken, and Shrimp as main dishes can be made very tasty pretty easy and also still remain healthy.
  • Ireshgurl
    Ireshgurl Posts: 559
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    bump, so i can check this out after i get home from work, lol.
  • Fairyfli
    Fairyfli Posts: 13
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    bump I too want to read this later!
  • merlin87tx
    merlin87tx Posts: 27
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    I don't have a significant other but I do have parents who eat really bad stuff!

    Whenever I visit my parents, which is quite often since I live just a couple houses away, they are always eating really fatty and unhealthy food. So whenever I go to visit, I'll help my mother cook but a little different for myself. She knows about my diet and helps me out. So I figure, with a s/o, why not cook together? Make a meal with each other but make yours slightly different from his?

    i mean honestly, what would happen if you're not home to cook him something? He'd need to feed himself at some point and enough to not make you worry that he'd burn the house down!
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
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    Cook your healthy food and if he doesnt like it he can make himself a sammich...same for your 4yr old..would you rather him eat healthy or like his dad??
  • emcohen
    emcohen Posts: 46
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    I don't buy the "it's not his thing" argument about making meals. I say, make healthy meals and if he wants something else he can have it. If he wants to buy extra food, make him pay for it!

    Maybe some cooking classes?
  • jsteffen80
    jsteffen80 Posts: 136
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    Tell Mr 'not his thing' to stop being a pain in the butt. He should consider himself lucky that he has someone willing to cook for him.
  • rmdaly
    rmdaly Posts: 250 Member
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    I've been with my husband for nearly 20 years and I keep hoping that he will have a lightbulb moment and start eating better. I have to accept that it probably won't happen.

    I go to the grocery store weekly and buy lots of fruit, vegetables and whole grains. I make awesome bran muffins. He won't touch them. He goes later and buys kids cereal, ice cream, chips and candy bars to eat. I plan good healthy dinners to eat. If I ask him for input, he won't give me any. He thinks a good breakfast is a donut and hot chocolate (made with whole milk), if he eats anything at all.

    Since I get so little help from him, I just make what I want to eat. I make enough for him if he wants to join me. If not, he can make something himself. Its not ideal, but I am not going to cook bad food for him.

    Sometimes I think if I met someone who ate well and would cook for me, I would probably run away with him.
  • bhalter
    bhalter Posts: 582 Member
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    My fiancee and his daughter don't get a choice, lol. I'm the one that plans the meals, does the grocery shopping, and cooks the meals. Luckily, my fiancee is grateful enough that he has home-cooked meals every day that he doesn't complain. That being said, I try hard not to make them eat crazy stuff I know they will just throw in the garbage. With every meal, I make a main dish and a veggie side. I rarely include rolls, bread, etc. For a lot of meals, I will just make healthy substitutions, or make my dish slightly different.

    Last night, we had wraps that I found a recipe for on Pinterest and modified. I made a batch of seasoned ground turkey, used crushed tomatoes, salsa, bought regular tortillas for them/low-carb wheat tortillas for me, and shredded cheddar jack for them/Laughing Cow Fresco & Chipotle wedges for me. I assembled them all at the same time with different ingredients and stuck them in the skillet with a bit of Pam to brown them. Everyone loved it, and I was able to eat the same thing as them with healthier modifications. I got 4 wraps for a 500 calorie dinner and was stuffed!

    Sometimes it just takes being a little creative and not going too out of your way for people who should be grateful you're cooking them a great meal.
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
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    To me it sounds like more of a relationship issue than a dieting issue. You need to sit down with your boyfriend and have a serious conversation. Explain to him what your goals are and why are doing it. Also tell him how it's challenging for to see him eat all those yummy fruit snacks, and that it's not fair for you to cook two seperate dishes at each meal. Encourage him to try cooking with you, maybe once he see's all of the effort you put into just ONE meal (let alone two) he will realize what a burden he's become. Men never like to hear that they are a burden (because then how could they be the 'man') so this approach might work well for you too. If he's not willing to try some healthier recipes, then he should cook for himself.

    If he really loves you he should support you in your journey to lose weight and get healthy. Don't make an excuse for him- loved ones are there to support and help each other.
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
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    But also I agree with many of the other replies, there really are plently of recipes that you could both enjoy AND stay within your calorie count. I have a boyfriend who also eats whatever he wants becasue he's tall and does a job requiring heavy physical labor all day. I make barbecue chicken salad (look at my Tuesday diary dinner entry to see what I put in it), salmon ginger salad and all these other delicious variations that are so tasty he'll forget it's mostly vegetables. Try to start small, introduce the fruits and veggies slowly and try different methods of prep, and eventually he might realize he actually likes some good-for-you foods.
  • stephabef
    stephabef Posts: 936 Member
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    He cooks what he wants, and I make what I want. We grocery shop separately. It's the only way I can stay sane, because I'm certainly not going to eat pizza and breadsticks every night like he likes to.
  • Just1forMe
    Just1forMe Posts: 624 Member
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    I don't buy the "it's not his thing" argument about making meals. I say, make healthy meals and if he wants something else he can have it. If he wants to buy extra food, make him pay for it!

    Maybe some cooking classes?

    Totally agree! If he doesn't cook, he eats the healthy stuff you cook. If he doesnt' like it, there's always a half box of cereal...
  • wifeygonzo
    wifeygonzo Posts: 287 Member
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    I have the same problem, my husband does rarely eats anything healthy and when I decide to make something healthy for dinner all I hear is a bunch of moans & groans and "ewww" or "that's gross" which then (being a girl) I get my feeling hurt. I'll modify what I make so its to my preference and all I usually need to do is add some cheese or hot sauce to my "healthy" dish and I get less complaints. Bottom line is he will eat what I make because he's not going to make anything himself and I just need to learn to get over his disapproving comments.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    He's a grown man. He can learn to cook.
  • Carfoodel
    Carfoodel Posts: 481 Member
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    My husband turns his nose up at most of my healthy choices and I have lost count of the amount of times that he orders a big takeaway and I just get myself something from the kitchen. I work round that by making sure I know what my meal choices are going to be for the day so when there is talk about "what's for dinner" I know the answer. my husband has the choice, but 95% of the time he chooses the unhealthy option.

    Sadly, my husband is about 340lbs with high blood pressure hyper tension, quick temper very high fat greasy diet and is very inactive and I am scared for his health - but I had to decide that if I waited for him to join me in my journey it was no good for me and I am very unhappy about my size- so unfortunately I have had to just face that I am on this journey along and he can join me if he wants - but I do wonder sometimes if 18 months or two years down the road when I have lost all my weight - he may not be there with me :(
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
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    Why do you cook for him? He's an adult and he can cook for himself.

    My husband and I eat most of our meals separately. I cook my food, and he cooks his. Since I get off work later than he does, he doesn't want to wait for me to eat.

    I don't get why women think they need to cook for their significant others. I don't mind sharing if I'm going to cook something anyway, but I would never cook a meal just for my husband unless he were disabled in a way that prevented him from caring for himself.
  • sweet110
    sweet110 Posts: 332 Member
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    He's your partner in life. So, some compromise is in order. Especially if you had no problem cooking what he wanted before and now, from his perspective, you are *suddenly* changing the rules. But that means both of you, not just you! If you make balanced meals, well, he doesn't have to eat the vegetable part. If he's still hungry...he can supplement the meals with some of those chips he likes so much! If you're making a casserole or a one pot meal or something...put the veggies on the side so he can "opt-out." If all he really wants is hamburgers and french fries or something that you can't possibly make edible for yourself, well, the two of you will have to decide on a few safe meals (that you can all eat) that you will have 3 or 4 days a week, and the other meals, he can forage for himself.

    Compromise is not only about giving in on some things, its also about a commitment to only expect what is reasonable. If I only ate "white foods," or something odd, well...I may not want folks to judge me...I'm an adult and I can choose whatever diet I want... but I also would have to accept that its not reasonable to hold everyone else's diet hostage to something that is too far beyond the norm. If I don't like brussel sprouts...that's a reasonable accommodation. If I refuse to eat food grown outside of new jersey...its not reasonable of me to expect anyone to accommodate that...unless I am prepared to pay a personal chef. And you are a wife/girlfriend/partner...not a personal chef!

    ...and yeah, he could learn to cook for himself or just shut up and eat what you make. And kids should respect their parents. And people shouldn't litter. I get what you're asking, which is how to make the life you have with him work better, not about how to make him "get with the program." But the "get with the program folks" are right in one respect: you can love and cherish your relationship with him while still maintaining that there are limits to what is reasonable for you to do *for* him.

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