I need some serious motivation

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octoberlightning
octoberlightning Posts: 29
in Motivation and Support
I recently lost my best friend, a couple of months ago, to a brain aneurysm and it has been taking a toll on me physically and emotionally. I keep on debating on whether it's worth it to eat and drink healthier because on one side I think, "life's too short, eat and drink whatever you want and enjoy yourself", but on the other side I think, "I wanna feel healthier mentally and physically".

I am a type 2 diabetic and only 25 years old. I have been overweight ever since I turned a teenager and I have been wanting to change that. I am 6 ft. tall and I weigh about 245ish...I want to lose weight, but I just don't have any motivation to do it. I can't convince myself to do what is right instead of taking the easy way out. I just feel ugly on both in the inside and outside. I don't have any self confidence or self esteem...its a constant cycle in my mind to whether I want to do this or not.

I just want to feel happy again. I love my Dr. Peppers, sweet teas, french fries, chicken fingers, burgers, cake, etc. but sadly that stuff doesn't help me feel happy. I have to figure out whether all of those things I love is worth giving up in order for me to be healthier. Is there anything that I can do to convince myself that I really do need to do this?

Replies

  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
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    Losing a close friend at such a young age is a horrible experience! My sympathies. I lost my father to cancer when I was 19 (He was 54 years old). So , I have a sense of what you are going through. Treasure the time you had with your friend and keep his/her memory always. It is through the memory of family and friends that we can live forever!

    Now to look to the future.

    No one can dictate your future except you! That you are distraught at the loss of a close friend is understood. However, think for a second about the scenario if the situation was reversed and it was you who had passed. In this situation, would you want your surviving friend to have a long and happy life? For me I would want my friends/family to enjoy their lives to max, if for what ever reason I was not able too. And for me this would be a way of celebrating my existence and what ever positive impact I had brought to their lives. If you feel the same, push forward and honor your friend by doing what ever you can to live a long and interesting life. Try new things, talk with people you might not normally talk to and most important be open to new experiences.

    That you are concerned about your health is a great first step to your new life of adventure and discovery. Now it is time dig down inside and call upon your inner courage and strength and make it happen.

    You have logged onto this site for a reason. Now follow through, start logging your food and adjusting what you eat to keep in line with the targets provided. At the same time, if you are not already active, find some form of exercise that you enjoy and have some fun. Don't know what to do? Not a problem, pick an activity at random and give it a try - Running, biking, swimming, dancing, yoga, weights, martial arts, boxing, etc, etc. There is an endless list of possibilities. If you do not find some thing that fits on the first try. No problem, try something else. And, keep going until something sticks. Then once it does go with it!

    The road is not easy and the results will take time. But if you start slowly and keep your focus, you will succeed.

    This may seem like a big load of crap. But it has worked for me! I have been "fat" since I was a child. Early this year I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. My Doctor told me that if I did not lose weight I would be dead before I turned 50 (I am 46 years old). This was my Doh! moment. Since that Doctor's visit I have lost over 60 lbs. At my last weigh-in the scale stopped at 198 lbs. This is the first time in my adult life that I have weighed less than 200 lbs.
    I now work out 5 - 6 days per week. I almost never eat junk food and when I do I take the smallest item on the menu. In addition to the lost weight, my outlook and attitude has changed dramatically. I am for lack of a better description a new man. I am nicer to my wife & children, I have a much more positive attitude. I am in a word "happy"!

    You will certainly have different challenges than I had/have but I know that with effort and focus you can improve your life and as a result enjoy the adventure.

    I wish you success, happiness and good luck on your journey.
  • sdailey4
    sdailey4 Posts: 56 Member
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    In complete agreement w/KyleB65...Continue to enjoy the foods you love, just in moderation. You said they aren't making you happy, and the more you eat isn't going to change that. Get active, it will help A LOT, the chemicals it releases helps you feel better. I have been in the gym for a little more than 6 weeks now and I have changed drastically in my emotions, a friend of mine just got off anti depressants after 2 yrs got into the gym got on vitamins and is no longer depressed...It is worth it, you are worth it. Life is worth it!!! I lost my mom when I was 20 to cancer and she was my best friend in the whole world, tomorrow it will have be 7 yrs and this is the first year that I am not suffocated with depression from August (when she was diagnosed) through the end of the year, and I think a lot of it has to do w/being in the gym 5-6 days a week.
  • octoberlightning
    octoberlightning Posts: 29
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    Thanks for the replies you two :). It has been extremely hard for me emotionally because I miss my friend so much...she was always the one telling me to do what I need to get done without any excuses. God knows I'm trying. I really appreciate the replies, it's good to know that I'm not alone when it comes to how I've been feeling for the past couple of months.

    I really want to try to find something that I really like to do and consider it exercise. I use to go bowling a lot but I haven't as of late. I may start back walking on the road I live on...it's a half a mile so one trip down and one trip back home would be a whole mile worth of walking. I use to feel lots better doing that at least a couple times a week.

    I was wanting to ask...do you think having a steady sleepy schedule would help too? because I work the 3rd shift on tuesday nights and the rest of the time I work during the day...so its safe to say I have a wacky sleep schedule.

    And also, do you think it would be a good idea for me to start taking a multivitamin? I've heard both good and bad things about them...but I guess I won't know how I react to them unless I try them out.
  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
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    Walking is a good start. Depending on your daily schedule, try to get your walking after a meal. This is a great and natural way to help your body digest. And, bowling is another good beginning, gets you moving a little and is a great social activity. Once you get comfortable with these try and push yourself a little. I would suggest that you start timing your walks. If you know the distance and it takes let's say 15 minutes. Try and do it in 12 minutes, then 10, etc, etc. Then try and add to the distance. This will take time and you will have good days and bad days. The important thing is to keep at it! For me, I treat my workouts like a job, whether I want or not, I go to the gym.
    I am not certain that at your age taking vitamins is needed. Actually I am not sure that vitamins (in pill form) are needed at any age! The only "vitamin pill" I take is Glucosamine. I find that this helps reduce the soreness I get in my knees, ankles & hips after my workouts. With vitamins in pill format the evidence on their effectiveness is not clear. And, a vitamin pill regime can be expensive! You can get all the nutrients & vitamins your body needs by eating a balanced diet that includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains and small portions of lean meat proteins. If you need food ideas, check out the food logged by the MFP "friends" you make and check out the Recipes group on the community tag. There are also tons of web sites and cookbooks around with ideas & recipes for healthy cooking & eating.
    You mentioned that you are diabetic. Before you start any new diet or exercise regime please make sure that you are up to date with your Doctor and if you plan to start any strenuous exercise regime make sure you keep on top of this condition.
    Now sleep, I am fortunate in that I get regular sleep ~ roughly 6 - 7 hrs every night. I used to work in the restaurant/bar business so I know how shift work screws with sleep patterns. All I can offer as advice is to try and get 6 - 7 hrs of sleep per day. On those days that you cannot you might want to use as rest days from any exercise routines.
    Good luck and have fun!
  • octoberlightning
    octoberlightning Posts: 29
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    Yeah I have a Dr. appointment in about a week so I am planning on seeing what kind of diet I can get started on. I really do want to be healthier but I have really struggled with it. Since it is the holidays I think I can slide a little but I am thinking that for my new years resolution, that I will seriously get to making my life healthier mentally and physically. 2 years ago my resolution was to quit smoking (and I haven't had a cigarette since), this year, I can make it this and be determined to do it.

    I don't want to look back at the past and think of the 'what ifs' ya know. I want to know that I done what I thought was right instead of the easy way out. I want to be around for my nephews, for my friends and for the rest of my family, for a very long time.
  • directorj
    directorj Posts: 537 Member
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    I was 230lbs now down to 189.6lbs. I ate wings, tacos , buffets (EACH WEEK!!)..etc. The only difference that I did was if I was going to eat it, I would tell myself I had to burn the calories. I found that running burned a lot of calories so I would run as far as I could then go ahead and eat. Eventually my fast food cravings aren't as extreme anymore because I feel all the work I done, I'd rather live healthier.
  • andy2486
    andy2486 Posts: 93 Member
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    You might want to talk to your doctor about Medifast. I did it and the first month I lost 17 punds. It gives you a set plan of what to eat and how much you should be eating and I believe that they have a diabetic plan. Many of my friends have done it and one has lost over 80 pounds since February. Since I started in July, I have done a couple different things: medifast for one month, watching what I ate combined with Medifast the second and third months, and limiting calorie intake with a lot of exercise since September. I have lost 29 pounds since July (give or take a pound) and I have really noticed that I am making better choices when it comes to what I eat and cook and I have also noticed that I am eating A LOT less per sitting than I used to, which is a BIG accomplishment for me. Definately talk to your doctor to find out what he/she recommends for you and find something you enjoy. I don't know how you feel about it, but maybe look into groups in your area or a gym that can motivate you to stay on track. I love going to the gym because there are so many classes where the teachers are so helpful and are really motivating during the workouts, even outside of the gym they are so helpful. Maybe if there is someone to push you, it will help you push yourself. Add me as a friend if you like and we can support each other. :)
  • SundayRiver2u
    SundayRiver2u Posts: 21 Member
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    I'm so sorry about your friend. It is devestating to lose someone close to you at such a young age. But keep in mind, regardless of your beliefs, your friend is with you - in your spirit, in your soul, in your heart and in your mind. She still wants you to be happy AND healthy because she loves you. You have a serious motivator in your corner and that's something to be grateful for.

    Eating right and healthy is a series of small decisions. Do you eat this and not that? Do you eat less of this and more of that? It doesn't have to be overwhelming but it is a matter of making the right call most of the time. Do it for your friend. Once you start to eat healthier foods, you may be amazed at how your mindset changes.

    As for the wacky schedule, I travel constantly to different time zones. I have started to learn how to adjust my eating so that I can still stick to my calorie count. I also have started to just sleep whenever I can and not worry about the time of day - quantity not quality I guess. I used to work retail and remember those hours took a toll but again it's about making a lot of right decisions throughout the day so that at the end of that day, I can look back and say I did something good for myself. I made the right decisions.

    I love this site because it's a completely judgment free zone. You've come to the right place. Now let's get you started!

    Best, Sunday
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 627 Member
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    I've seen it a thousand times and it's right. First, stop thinking of "dieting"; this has to be a life style change for you, for me, for all of us.

    Second, why wait until the New Year? You are on the site and have all the tools right at your fingertips. Even if you just start by logging your food - that way even if you go over your goals you'll have a better idea of the calorie values and it might help you make better choices the next day. Baby steps if you need to.

    We're here for you!
  • smalltheresa
    smalltheresa Posts: 9 Member
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    Sorry for the lose of your friend. Well I can tell you first of all this is not a diet, it a lifestyle change. I do not recommend going on any type of diet like Medifast or Slim Fast or nothing like that. First make small changes. As for eating habits do not make drastic changes all at once. Keeping track of what you eat is the first step. If you a diabetic I am quite sure the doctor gave you a plan and nutritionist as to your eating plan. Follow it !!! I am diabetic 2 and when I was fist disagnosis four or so years ago, I attended nutritonist class. You have to cut out soda and all those things you say you love to eat. As for exercise start off my walking even if its 30 minutes a day. But start where you are ..If you eat healthy then there is no need for vitamins but I am quite sure doctor put you on Medformin or something for diabetis but you need to see your doctor.
  • octoberlightning
    octoberlightning Posts: 29
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    If I could afford something like Medifast or another diet plan, I would most definitely do it but I am very low on money (only $100 a week) so until I find a better job, I'm gonna have to wait on that.

    I am going to ask my dr. when I go to see what she recommends because I need some kind of set plan on what to eat and drink instead of just guessing since I am a diabetic. I want to make sure I eat enough to where I feel full but not eat so many calories, ya know.

    I haven't had a soda in at least 2 weeks now...I really do miss them but I know I'm better off without them. I've been starting to walk a few times a week, for about 30 minutes each time. And since my family goes out to eat alot, I make sure I get things that are healthier for me instead of burgers and fries. I do go over my calorie limit still but it's not by even close to as much as it use to be.

    I'm so glad there is such a nice community on here to talk to about this. Makes me really want to work on making myself healthier and more active, for my family and my friends, and mostly for myself :).

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