Wife Discouraged
taneum
Posts: 16
Well my wife weighed In this mornIng and after three weeks she is not down at all. Still coming in at 313. She is supposed to be about 1700 calories and she is coming in about 300-500 calories low. She is sooooo afraid to eat more as she thinks now that it would make her actually gain. What the heck do we do???? Eat more? Eat less? We are completely list with her which culminated into an hour of crying and feeling downright useless. Someone help please!
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Replies
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First, make sure that you are truly recording everything that you eat, measure it, weigh it, whatever you need to do to make sure that what you log is accurate.
And if it is accurate, my advice is eat more! 300-500 calories under goal probably means that she's not getting enough food! Try it out for another 3 weeks and see if it helps! good luck!0 -
Well aren't you a lovely husband to be so supportive!
I think she should eat all her calories, make them as healthy as possible (but don't rule out the occasional treat) and in time she will see good results.0 -
It's hard to say since we obviously aren't all within physical proximity to each other. But, where is she getting her calories from and how is she expending her calories. Diet has a lot to do with weight loss, and remember that at that weight it's going to take awhile to 'jump start' her metoabolism again. My friend and I were talking about this with a coworker as well. He has a lot of weight to lose and at about the 2-3 week mark he starts getting discouraged and falls off that wagon again. If you can go to the library or go online and look up foods in their natural states and their nutritional value. Try to eat things that are as unprocessed as possible. I jumpstarted my weightloss this way.0
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First of all, take a deep breathe and appreciate the fact that you are so supportive of each other. That is huge.
For me, not eating all my recommended calories ends up with staying the same or even gaining a bit. That's including days of exercise. So try eating at least the minimum, but make sure they are healthy calories. Water is big too, get all 8 or more cups in.
Please don't give up or feel useless. This is a lifestyle change, and it takes time.0 -
She needs to eat her 1700 or she is starving her body. Like someone said, measure and write down everything, includng beverages.
Sometimes it takes a while for weight to budge. If she was jumping diet to diet or even just a fast change, she has confused her body. She needs to allow her body time to acknowledge what it is she is doing and what it is she is expecting from it.
I was eating 1-2 times a day previously...my body was going in to starvation mode, i was constantly confused my body into thinking i wasn't going to feed it so it held onto it. Tell her eat 5 -6 meals a day throughout the day. 3 meals, 2 snacks. Water and to stop eating 2-3 Hrs prior to bed.
Give it time, it will work. She needs to find something to get her mind off the scale and to stay calm....stress does not help with weightloss.
She should also measure her body....she may lose " before LBS.
Tell her good luck0 -
Since I saw a lot of husband bashing today - I want to applaud you for being SO supportive. She/we all need that.
I agree with a lot of comments listed - check to see that she is logging ANYTHING that goes into her mouth.
I'd also agree that at this point, she should eat pretty much all of her calories - maybe w/in 100, but not 500.
What is her exercise routine? Even if it's walking 20 steps - do it over and over and over. It takes 3,500 calorie
deficit to lose ONE POUND. I was exercising my butt off 7 days a week, logging in my 1200 calories - and I lost
ONE LOUSY POUND a week. I was not discouraged, however, I stayed the course. Does she have access to an
indoor pool? If so - that might be a good exercise for her - non weight bearing.
Continue to support her, let her vent, rant and rave - give her big hugs.
We did not put our weigh on over night. It took me 8 years to pack on 35 pounds. If it takes 8 months to get it off,
I'm still 7 years and 5 months ahead of the game.
STAY THE COURSE!0 -
totally agree with all of these. I would def go up on calories or try and consume the recommended for sure! Also encourage more of the lean and green foods in her diet and water water and more water! Is exercising consistent as well? Forget the scale a while, numbers can be so discouraging! If she feels better, healther,has more energy then hey, thats a huge result!0
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She should go ahead and eat the 1700 calories. There is no need to come in low.
If she still doesn't lose within the next couple weeks, it is time for a Dr. visit. A simple blood test can detect if she has any nutritional problems or hormone issues that are making it more difficult.0 -
Has she seen a doctor maybe she should try that first or seeing a nutritionist MFP is not a substitute for docs/nutritionist..0
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First of all, major brownie points (broccoli points?) to you for being such a great support to her.
After three weeks it can be very frustrating to not see any change and I'm sure you are feeling it as much as she is.
Recalculate your numbers and try to get as accurate as possible.
Food in: Buy a food scale and weigh everything, even single-serving or prepackaged foods (they aren't always accurate). You can get a cheap digital one for under $20.
Exercise: Does she have a HRM, BodyBugg or the like? If not it may be a great Christmas present. There are lots of options out there. You'll have to do some research and find the one best for her. Personally I have a Polar ft7 and an ipod nano with the Nike+ kit and Nike+ shoes (so I can count running or just steps on the pedometer). Be aware that exercise calorie calculations usually include the calories you would have spent just sitting, so the real burn may be a bit less than what's reported (unless your device accounts for that).
BMR/RMR/TDEE: Check her numbers on a few sites and get a consensus of what she should be eating. MFP's calculations are great for most but there's always a bit of customization to do. Another site I like is fat2fitradio.com's calculators.
Is she eating enough/too much? At 313 I would think she has enough body fat that she can sustain a larger deficit before running into slow metabolism issues, but if she's already been down that road the damage might be done and she needs to eat at maintenance for a month or so to get things going again.
Measuring results: Is she logging her measurements? Using a tape measure, and calipers or body fat scale will help her to see results even if the pounds aren't going down.
I'll leave it to others to suggest types of exercise-there are a lot here who would have more knowledge than I.
Most of all- encourage her to keep with it and not give up. It will happen! She just needs to find that 'magic' range of calories in/out that works best for her.0 -
As others have said, it sounds like she needs to eat more, at least all of her daily limit, and more if she's exercising. Some people don't realize that when MFP tells us our daily calorie limit, it has already factored in a 500 calorie deficit (if you've set it to lose 1lb a week), so going under what MFP gives you isn't a good idea.
Other things to consider:
1. Don't just rely on the scale. I've lost 52lbs since January 2011, and that included times where I gained, and plateaus. But I measure myself every month, and I've consistently been losing inches. I started as a size 18 and am now fitting size 8.
2. Watch the sodium intake. Since I started tracking mine on MFP and kept it to under 1700mg, I feel so much better! No more "lumpy and dumpy" feelings, plus it helps on the scale since less sodium = less water retention.
I hope this helps her. None of us gained our weight in a few weeks, and we won't lose it in a few weeks either.0 -
If she weighs 313 and is only eating 1700 calories her body is in starvation mode. I weigh 300 pounds and my maintenance calories are 2800, 2 lb a week calories are 1800. I think she should eat her max allowed calories and her exercise calories in the beginning. Is she really pushing herself in her workouts? I'm so sorry she's having such a hard time. Stress and worry will make it harder to lose weight too...Don't give up and good luck!0
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She can do it! Less carbs...low carbs before 2 p.m. More proteins such as ckn and fish and fresh veggies. Plenty of water. Stay away from sweets/breads for at least 2 weeks. Healthy fats only such as olive oil. Drink a glass of warm water with fresh squeezed lemon (half a lemon) when she wakes up to get her metabolism going early. Trick the body so she can shed off initial weight. Good luck! Drink plenty of water no diet soda/soda0
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Thanks everyone. She hasn't really worked out yet but she is starting that tomorrow. We thought this was like Weight Watchers where exercise isn't a must to lose weight. I told her to go another two weeks with the exercise and let's get her calories up. Is eating certain types of foods at certain times really that critical? No carbs after 2:00pm or so? Certain foods after workout? No breads when starting this diet? Howcome?0
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I wouldn't think of it as a diet, more like a lifestyle change. As for exercise, she doesn't have to start out with anything vigorous, you can just take a leisurely walk each night to begin with-anything to get her body moving. Has she been measuring her portions? Taking note of every bite she eats? Make sure she writes down EVERYTHING she puts in her mouth-even if it's just in a notebook throughout the day. When I first started I didn't realize how many absent minded bites of food I took while cooking until I started taking note. To start slowly maybe she can just measure out true serving size portions as she eats so that she can get comfortable with normal portion sizes. I wouldn't start with the cutting out carbs and all that yet. I'd start very slowly so she doesn't feel overwhelmed. Try starting with measuring her portions for everything-and I mean it-bust out with the tablespoon for salad dressing and toppings-everything. Take a light walk each night together, if she can't walk very long then just walk back and forth in front of the house-or even around the inside of the house. You want changes she can stick with, not a crash diet she's going to stop doing and end up gaining weight again.0
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You are right, excercise is great but you can both see great progress without it too. When you have a lot of weight to shed its important to focus on the eating first.
I agree with other that said for her to eat more, Make sure her MFP setting are set to "sedetary" if she is not on her feet all day for work, and set her goal for 1 lbs a week. This will give you a realistic starting plan.
After a few weeks then you can start to add excercise if you want and when you add it to MFP it will up the ammount of calories to eat that day.
There is no reason you need to stop eating at a certain time, unless you find it difficult to sleep if you eat too close to bed (i do).
The most important thing is the type of calories and loggin them correctly. Eat whole food and keep the "treats" to a minimum. Also have her track her sodium, for many people this can cause them to hold onto weight. Also make sure she is weighing in only once a week at the same time each week. my weight can fluctuate 3-5 lbs in a day.
You are both doing great, keep up the good work and feel free to add me if you would like additional support.0 -
We measure some ingredients when cooking but some things we just "eye ball" when adding stuff in on the "MFP" app on our iPods. She has always been active and fir a 313 pound lady, she is quite active. Rakes leaves, puts upChristmas lights, dies crafts, can jog a bit.
She lost 90 pounds about 4 years through a weight loss competition at her work and she won it but she put it all back on. Problem is we don't remember exactly what she did but she did workout a lot and even wore black sweat bag suits to drop water weight before weigh in. She isnt lime a lot of the contestants on "The Biggest Loser" where she can't do anything. She can do stuff fairly okay. Sorry, a little information about her.0 -
You say competition...Get her to check the boards there are a few cometitions running.maybe join 1 or 2...get her motivated again. I joined 2, lose 10LBS in December and there is a Biggest Loser contest. I don't know anyone personally but having to report weekly keeps me motivated....If she wants a friend for support she can add me...I will be more than happy.0
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