The Binge

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PattyTheUndefeated
PattyTheUndefeated Posts: 302 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
A feeling that leads to a thought that leads to a nagging itch screaming to be scratched.

Uncomfortable, the whispers beckoning you on. Just a taste, a lick, a nibble. Just a bite, a morsel, a snack.

It's been a long day. The mind is racing, the feelings overwhelming, the anxiety tightening it's invisible grip on your throat.

The inventory. There's a tin of icing in the cupboard. A bag of chocolate chips for holiday baking. That banana loaf you baked for your coworkers.

Just a taste to quiet the mind, just a bite to silence an aching heart.

A pile of empty containers, wrappers, boxes followed by empty eyes, hearts and minds. The nagging itch is now a bloody wound, no remedy can heal. No sweetness can tame the bitter inner turmoil.

The 'never agains', the 'I swear I'll change'.

The half eaten bags of chips in the trash, the unopened packages of food thrown away, time and time again, the sins temporarily erased, money wasted, promises broken, shame never-ending. Cleansing the cupboards of a weakness that can't be understood.

Shame, belly-aches, racing hearts and sweaty faces. Anger, promises, never again, promises.

Never again. Tommorrow will be different. Tommorrow you'll do better. Never again.

Replies

  • catwrangler
    catwrangler Posts: 918 Member
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    You get me. :ohwell:
  • noexcuses1218
    noexcuses1218 Posts: 332 Member
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    "a nagging itch screaming to be scratched." yes. like a freaking four-year-old having a temper tantrum in the middle of a grocery store. anything to shut it up. as if eating is going to shut it up at all.
  • CharlieBarleyMom
    CharlieBarleyMom Posts: 727 Member
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    Poetic.
    Truthful.
    Thought provoking.
    Thanks.
  • DaniellePF
    DaniellePF Posts: 308 Member
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    Yep...thanks for posting this on the day that I decided to down almost a whole bag of chocolate covered berries (all the while justifying the fact that there were berries involved) after almost a year with no slip ups. :embarassed:
  • fitniknik
    fitniknik Posts: 713 Member
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    I'm ripping through all of this in my brain right now... trying to just stay in bed and avoid the guilt
  • josiesumerlin
    josiesumerlin Posts: 79
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    I could not have said it any better thank you.
  • DulceDollie
    DulceDollie Posts: 115
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    Perfect description! I'm not alone!
  • beatlemom
    beatlemom Posts: 250 Member
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    exactly!
  • Leesseebee
    Leesseebee Posts: 216
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    yes and hang in there
  • andrea7164
    andrea7164 Posts: 22
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    Yes indeed.

    This is great to read when those ugly feelings appear.
  • sherrylwilson
    sherrylwilson Posts: 31 Member
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    I LOVE THIS!
    I felt this way last night. I was popping popcorn and baking cookies and then started on pancakes. I had done so good during the day and when night fell I was out of control.
    TODAY at work is sweets day....all that we have is about 50 different kinds of desserts. HELP!!
  • ImaSongbird
    ImaSongbird Posts: 126 Member
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    I am a psychology student and as such, have studied a number of behavior issues, including drug and alcohol abuse. The desires that we binge eaters experience are exactly the same as those of people addicted to drugs and alcohol or, for that matter, any other addictive behavior.

    While this knowledge doesn't help me a whole lot when I'm tempted to binge, it does give me compassion for drug addicts...

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