Maintenance Woes (yes, this is somewhat of a whiney thread

Wolfena
Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
I wrote this in my blog today, then thought maybe I'd post it here too. Guess I'm kind of wondering if this is normal. If other people in maintenance ever feel this way. What do/did you do? I'm just feeling so frustrated lately with the whole eating right and exercising etc - something that at one point was fun and interesting and now just seems to be "a hassle" and depresses me to no end. My motivation and desire to stick with it seems to be almost gone - but at the same time I tremendously fear gaining back a lot of weight. Anyway.....


I have been eating pretty much whatever I want lately, barely exercising at all. I am still weighing in the low 150's but can see a big difference in my body - even getting that little roll of fat under my chin again. I am in a comfortable size 10 now, can't wear the 8's at all anymore. On a daily basis I have the argument with myself of whether or not being thin is more important than thoroughly enjoying the food I eat (because when I'm eating healthy all the time, I am NOT thoroughly enjoying my food) There doesn't seem to be an inbetween for me - I can't have just a bite, or a small portion, or the baked version - I mean, I CAN eat it that way... but I don't enjoy it and feel deprived. Doesn't matter what or how often, I ALWAYS want foods I shouldn't be eating! A lot of my habits have permanently changed for the better compared to how I ate before I ever lost any weight, and they will stay that way - but I just don't think I can "eat healthy" all the time no matter how much I'd like to!

I used to weigh 138 pounds - I wasn't happy. I used to weigh 208 pounds- I wasn't happy. I now weigh 152 pounds (today) and I am not happy. Perhaps I will never be happy with my body, perhaps I have no "happy weight" and should at least be happy with my food, no???

This is so freakin' frustrating for me - I wish I could just make it go away. I wish I could go back to the way I was before losing any weight where I didn't even know how much I weighed and I ate food because I was hungry and it tasted good, never even thinking about calories or nutrition. I may have been fatter and not happy with my body, but at least I was happy otherwise. Now I have neither.

Replies

  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
    I wrote this in my blog today, then thought maybe I'd post it here too. Guess I'm kind of wondering if this is normal. If other people in maintenance ever feel this way. What do/did you do? I'm just feeling so frustrated lately with the whole eating right and exercising etc - something that at one point was fun and interesting and now just seems to be "a hassle" and depresses me to no end. My motivation and desire to stick with it seems to be almost gone - but at the same time I tremendously fear gaining back a lot of weight. Anyway.....


    I have been eating pretty much whatever I want lately, barely exercising at all. I am still weighing in the low 150's but can see a big difference in my body - even getting that little roll of fat under my chin again. I am in a comfortable size 10 now, can't wear the 8's at all anymore. On a daily basis I have the argument with myself of whether or not being thin is more important than thoroughly enjoying the food I eat (because when I'm eating healthy all the time, I am NOT thoroughly enjoying my food) There doesn't seem to be an inbetween for me - I can't have just a bite, or a small portion, or the baked version - I mean, I CAN eat it that way... but I don't enjoy it and feel deprived. Doesn't matter what or how often, I ALWAYS want foods I shouldn't be eating! A lot of my habits have permanently changed for the better compared to how I ate before I ever lost any weight, and they will stay that way - but I just don't think I can "eat healthy" all the time no matter how much I'd like to!

    I used to weigh 138 pounds - I wasn't happy. I used to weigh 208 pounds- I wasn't happy. I now weigh 152 pounds (today) and I am not happy. Perhaps I will never be happy with my body, perhaps I have no "happy weight" and should at least be happy with my food, no???

    This is so freakin' frustrating for me - I wish I could just make it go away. I wish I could go back to the way I was before losing any weight where I didn't even know how much I weighed and I ate food because I was hungry and it tasted good, never even thinking about calories or nutrition. I may have been fatter and not happy with my body, but at least I was happy otherwise. Now I have neither.
  • staceyw37
    staceyw37 Posts: 2,094 Member
    sorry you're feeling so down. while you may not be "happy" your body is happier with less weight--your heart, your joints, etc.
    maybe you just need a different focus--like a goal to work towards rather than the # on scale. maybe that you want to walk a 12 minute mile or learn to knit a scarf or try one new fruit/vege a month. maybe that way you'll be focused on other things that can bring you happiness and then you can add back in the food logging/exercise discipline to deal with that arena of your life.

    just some thoughts. i hope you feel better. :flowerforyou:
  • justdoingit
    justdoingit Posts: 185 Member
    Maybe the weight is not the issue. While you were trying to take the weight off, it served as a distraction from other underlying issues. Once you reached your goal, these issues might be resrufacing again. I'm no therapist but my advice would be to go to one who can help you figure out why you don't seem to be happy at any weight.

    I go through the same thing! I am weighing 127lbs right now and last night I sabotaged all the good that I have accomplished by eating half a bowl of chocolate pudding. I had to try really hard to stop myself from eating the entire thing. Why do I do this to myself??!! I wasn't hungry. I am getting closer to my target weight and I am still not happy:grumble: I am thinking of going to a therapist...
  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
    Maybe the weight is not the issue. While you were trying to take the weight off, it served as a distraction from other underlying issues. Once you reached your goal, these issues might be resrufacing again. I'm no therapist but my advice would be to go to one who can help you figure out why you don't seem to be happy at any weight.

    I go through the same thing! I am weighing 127lbs right now and last night I sabotaged all the good that I have accomplished by eating half a bowl of chocolate pudding. I had to try really hard to stop myself from eating the entire thing. Why do I do this to myself??!! I wasn't hungry. I am getting closer to my target weight and I am still not happy:grumble: I am thinking of going to a therapist...

    Half a bowl of pudding sabotaged all of your efforts?? How many calories can that possibly have in it?

    Sorry... not to insult your post, but I guess I WISH half a bowl of chocolate pudding was all the extra I was eating (or even the whole bowl would be a plus for me)

    Having the power to stop at half a bowl of pudding is incredulous - that is not self sabotage in my book at all! :wink:

    Regarding other issues in my life?? Maybe.... I've never been big on seeing or talking to a psychologist and can't think of anything offhand that might be bothering me thus the underlying issue - but I suppose it's very possible!
  • amyalwaysonline6
    amyalwaysonline6 Posts: 101
    My sister and I were just talking about this yesterday. I watch what I eat and try to maintain my weight, and it only makes me want to eat more. She eats whatever she wants, whenever she wants. She's overweight, but most of the time, she doesn't seem to care. I would say she is happier than I am, maybe not healthier, but who wants to live longer in a miserable life. I don't.
  • christy559
    christy559 Posts: 105
    This person was just offering her perspecitve to help and she is relating and trying to offer support.

    I think she is spot on....if you aren't happy, no matter what, then the weight may not be the issue.

    If you've never been 'big' on seeing a therapist, it doesn't mean they cannot help. You share that you don't have the answers, or else you would not have posted and asked for help, right?

    There is something going on that cannot be easily identified AND its getting in the way, to the point where the hard work and good health is in jeapordy.

    If a therapist isn't doing it for you, perhaps consider seeing a nutritionist, a trainer, or talk to somone here on the board offline. Maybe having a buddy would help.

    It helps to focus on what you can eat. If you're finding that the will power is an issue; you have to discover what is is that really matters that no matter what, being healthy wins (not only the numbers on the scale) . You may not need to be an 8, maybe a 10 is suitable...or maybe its not the real reason why you want to lose weight or why your puttin it back on.
    Maybe the weight is not the issue. While you were trying to take the weight off, it served as a distraction from other underlying issues. Once you reached your goal, these issues might be resrufacing again. I'm no therapist but my advice would be to go to one who can help you figure out why you don't seem to be happy at any weight.

    I go through the same thing! I am weighing 127lbs right now and last night I sabotaged all the good that I have accomplished by eating half a bowl of chocolate pudding. I had to try really hard to stop myself from eating the entire thing. Why do I do this to myself??!! I wasn't hungry. I am getting closer to my target weight and I am still not happy:grumble: I am thinking of going to a therapist...

    Half a bowl of pudding sabotaged all of your efforts?? How many calories can that possibly have in it?

    Sorry... not to insult your post, but I guess I WISH half a bowl of chocolate pudding was all the extra I was eating (or even the whole bowl would be a plus for me)

    Having the power to stop at half a bowl of pudding is incredulous - that is not self sabotage in my book at all! :wink:

    Regarding other issues in my life?? Maybe.... I've never been big on seeing or talking to a psychologist and can't think of anything offhand that might be bothering me thus the underlying issue - but I suppose it's very possible!
  • Nich0le
    Nich0le Posts: 2,906 Member
    Have you considered over eaters anonymous? Yes, I know, but I have a friend who lost almost 200 lbs and she complained that once she reached her goal weight she no longer felt motivated, she said she couldn't think of anything to keep her going. She gained 100 lbs back before she started looking at other reasons why she eats.

    Anyway, she found over eater's anonymous and she said at first she was thinking it wouldn't help her because she felt like people were whining until she realized they all had different reasons for being there. It gave her a way to talk about what was going on in her life and sometimes her past and gave her a safe place to get advice from people. she has lost about 40 lbs of the 100 since going to the meetings. It is based off of the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous.

    I know not all people feel like they have "issues" that need resolved in order to lose and maintain a weight loss. something is going on with you to do what you are doing and you need to figure out how to vent your frustrations before you gain.

    And, as far as the bowl of pudding, that may have been a mixing bowl of pudding and each of us has our own struggle.

    Is it possible that your maintenance is hard because the "wow, look at you" factor is gone? Did you enjoy getting attention from other people as the weight came off and now it's old news?
  • keiko
    keiko Posts: 2,919 Member
    Just yesterday I was doing my workout thinking, "why am I doing this?" "I don't want to do this"
    I don't feel like going out for my run, I don't feel like doing my strength training. But I keep doing it. Why do I keep doing it. Because I don't want to gain and have to work so hard to lose it again.

    I want to live the next years of my life healthy. I don't want to have to say no to things because I can't do them. In order to do that I have to keep exercising. I have to eat healthy most days.

    Sometimes I have a piece of cake or a few cookies or whatever. But then go back to what is my new normal. Surprisingly I have an opened bag of Ruffles in the cupboard from a week ago. I will probably throw them away because no one is eating them. Before they wouldn't have made it passed a day. It does get easier. But you have to keep at it.

    I think if you keep at it you will like it again. Like anything in life we have our ups & downs. Somedays I really enjoy cleaning my house. Somedays (weeks:laugh: ) I could care less if it ever gets clean again. But then one day I'll find myself enjoying it again.

    I hope your slump doesn't last long. I really think that's all it is. But that's only my opinion. I'm not a therapist nor do I play one on tv.:flowerforyou:
  • molsongirl
    molsongirl Posts: 1,373 Member
    I wrote this in my blog today, then thought maybe I'd post it here too. Guess I'm kind of wondering if this is normal. If other people in maintenance ever feel this way. What do/did you do? I'm just feeling so frustrated lately with the whole eating right and exercising etc - something that at one point was fun and interesting and now just seems to be "a hassle" and depresses me to no end. My motivation and desire to stick with it seems to be almost gone - but at the same time I tremendously fear gaining back a lot of weight. Anyway.....


    I have been eating pretty much whatever I want lately, barely exercising at all. I am still weighing in the low 150's but can see a big difference in my body - even getting that little roll of fat under my chin again. I am in a comfortable size 10 now, can't wear the 8's at all anymore. On a daily basis I have the argument with myself of whether or not being thin is more important than thoroughly enjoying the food I eat (because when I'm eating healthy all the time, I am NOT thoroughly enjoying my food) There doesn't seem to be an inbetween for me - I can't have just a bite, or a small portion, or the baked version - I mean, I CAN eat it that way... but I don't enjoy it and feel deprived. Doesn't matter what or how often, I ALWAYS want foods I shouldn't be eating! A lot of my habits have permanently changed for the better compared to how I ate before I ever lost any weight, and they will stay that way - but I just don't think I can "eat healthy" all the time no matter how much I'd like to!

    I used to weigh 138 pounds - I wasn't happy. I used to weigh 208 pounds- I wasn't happy. I now weigh 152 pounds (today) and I am not happy. Perhaps I will never be happy with my body, perhaps I have no "happy weight" and should at least be happy with my food, no???

    This is so freakin' frustrating for me - I wish I could just make it go away. I wish I could go back to the way I was before losing any weight where I didn't even know how much I weighed and I ate food because I was hungry and it tasted good, never even thinking about calories or nutrition. I may have been fatter and not happy with my body, but at least I was happy otherwise. Now I have neither.

    I feel for you, is it possible that it isn't really a weight issue? maybe something else that may need fixing?
  • kgrc
    kgrc Posts: 17 Member
    I feel the same way.. I am 122lbs..right where I should be for 5'8", I want to get back to where I was last year at 115lbs (the weight I feel the most comfortable), but heck, I can't even get back to 117lbs.

    I know I should be happy and satisfied at my current weight, but I am not. I am not a "clean eater" but I do make wise selections everyday, but I also make a few poor ones as well.

    Sometimes I get so tired of counting my calories, exercises my bottom off, portion control, denying myself all to stay at 122lbs. I remember a time when I weighed 126lbs..did not count calories, did not work out like I do now, ate what I wanted and not gain a pound!!

    Now I freak out when I get to 123lbs (even if I know it's water retention).

    I am so frustrated...
  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
    First, I'd like to say that it wasn't intended to be a negative response to the pudding girl. LOL It was more sarcasm (and I should know better than to try to put sarcasm into print and expect all others to "get it") She hasn't since replied, but I apologize if it was taken the wrong way. :flowerforyou:

    I was making an example of the pudding. I diligently tracked EVERYTHING while losing weight and would have felt just as she does if I'd have eaten half a bowl of pudding too. But NOW - I'm supposed to be in maintenance. I'm supposed to be able to loosen up just a bit and NOT feel guilty if I eat a half a bowl of pudding (or the whole thing) - That's what I'm talking about. While I considered it acceptable and understandable behavior to freak out over half a bowl of pudding while losing weight, NOW - I do not feel it's "normal" for me to flip out, feel guilty, or have exercise bulimia for the rest of my life for something as small as a bowl of pudding! Think about that, it's totally insane IMO!! It means I can NEVER enjoy pudding again unless I plan it into my daily intake of calories. If it's not planned it equals guilt and beating myself up. THAT is what I'm not enjoying any longer, get it??

    I am glad to read that some of you DO understand where I am coming from, even feel the same way at times. Maybe this'll just be a slump, maybe I do need to seek counseling of some sort- I like the idea of overeaters anonymous, I think I WILL look into that. Maybe someday I'll just be fat again (maybe some of you already think I am :wink: )

    Just knowing I am not alone in my thoughts makes me feel less "abnormal" - Thank you :smile:
  • hiddensecant
    hiddensecant Posts: 2,446 Member
    I think if you tried to be a little more active, you might be able to find that happy medium. Exercise can make all the difference in being able to eat more like the way you want while offstepping those nasty sideaffects.
  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
    I went from exercising 5-7 days a week, 45 minutes - 2 hours at a shot, mostly cardio but also strength training (that was 1.5 years after I'd reached my goal weight). Now I am down to 1-3 days a week, usually 30 -75 minutes, mostly just cardio. I felt no better physically then than I do now - it's just changed from fun and challenging to a pain in the butt that takes up time I could be using for cleaning my house, playing with my kids or sleeping. (and as I mentioned, my body is less toned)

    Yea - I know, bad attitude change.... but it's there. When I cut back on exercise it was Summer of 2008, I have gained back about 5 pounds since that point. I'm not sure that it would have been worth all the effort just to have NOT gained only 5 pounds - ya know?

    I know, I know, I know.... it's my own mental argument. :frown:

    I know what's healthy, I know what's not - I'm just trying to decide where I want to be.
  • hiddensecant
    hiddensecant Posts: 2,446 Member
    5 pounds a year is gonna add up eventually.

    Find something fun you can do with your children.
  • ivykivy
    ivykivy Posts: 2,970 Member
    I know this whole thing can become obsessive and annoying. I think we all have to come the terms with this is the body we have. It will probably never become perfect like we want it without spending half a day in the gym. (But hey for those who do and you enjoy it-more power to you)

    Have you tried 4 days off 3 days on as far as food goes and HIIT training 2-3 times a week and weights three times? Maybe exercise time can also be friend bonding time or playing baseball with the kids like ghanie suggested.

    I think we all have to get it in our minds that exercise and controlling our eating is always going to be a part of our lives. Hopefully you will find a way to make it enjoyable
  • keiko
    keiko Posts: 2,919 Member
    I think we all have to get it in our minds that exercise and controlling our eating is always going to be a part of our lives. Hopefully you will find a way to make it enjoyable

    I really agree with this statement. I even know that exercise/controlling my eating will be a part of my life forever. But somedays I still don't want to, I still get tired of it.

    One thing that helps me is to stick with a routine. I do cardio MWF and usually do pilates on those days to. On Tu, Thur, Sat I do strength training. Strength training takes about an hour. Cardio varies since I'm working up to running 3mi. Both of the routines of these can change so my body doesn't get use to the same thing but I like knowing that on Mon I run. Am I looking forward to getting up at 6am tomorrow? Not really, but after I'm done I'll feel really good!

    I also walk with DH & the dog once a day. The dog needs exercise to but if I've already been running DH will take her alone.
  • justdoingit
    justdoingit Posts: 185 Member
    You are too funny!! This was a VERY big bowl. Also, I made it with 2 cups of 2% milk AND 1 cup of heavy cream. There are times when I just can't stop eating whatever it is that I am eating and then I think to myself; "I'm not even hungry!" and of course I will go off and feel bad and sulk. Anyway, I feel like I am never satisfied with my weight or how much I eat etc.! I am seriously thinking of talking to someone...:ohwell:
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    Hi

    I feel your pain and can relate
    I came here in Jan 08 and by May lost about 30 pounds.....summer 08 I was at my lowest
    I didn't binge any more and would on rare occasion go to a b-day party and have just ONE piece of cake or ONE slice of pizza...I thought I had it all under wraps
    I enjoyed exc and would exc 1-1.5 hrs per day

    Fast forward and something happened around the Holidays and one 'bad' day turned into 2 days and so on
    Lately I've been having a lot more bad days then good in general...I've gone back to binging when I mess up....one piece of cake turns into the ENTIRE cake and so on.....I DREAD exc.
    I push myself to do 30 minutes min per day...but it's a struggle

    I've gained back about 4 pounds
    I still fit into my new/smaller clothes but am not as comfy in some things and certain items are starting to feel 'tight'
    On one hand I am petrified on gaining the weight back......but on the other hand I feel completely out of control (which is ridiculous in my rational mind because I know I do have control and over eating isn't going to ease my anxiety but make it worse!)

    No real words of advice, just another voice than can relate
    I've also thought of going to OA....but at5'7+ and 130 I was afraid I wouldn't be welcomed

    Kim
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