on the edge

whitehandlady
whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
edited September 19 in Chit-Chat
i feel like i'm on the edge of a binge

i have managed since march 30th to have only one "bad" day

but even then i logged it in and did my exercise....knowing i wouldn't break even ...i still hung in there and got up the next morning to start anew

i have lost 14 lbs in roughly a month....i have exercised daily


i mean ultimately i'm pretty happy with my progress

i just feel like i am always just barely able to control myself

i have made home fail proof and thanks to the limited places at work i can eat
well i have been able to ignore the temptation so to speak

but every time a meal is delayed or i'm around others who have "contraband"
i just feel like an addict that is controlling myself by a thread

i'm at my sister's now and am forcing myself to leave early because i can't be here with ice cream without eating it

i allowed myself a small serving earlier and i find that all i want to do right now is eat that whole container of sara lee cheesecake bites

my logical mind knows that i do not want this

but i am almost angry that i can't have them
it makes me feel really mentally ashamed and unhealthy

why does food have so much power over me?

Replies

  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
    i feel like i'm on the edge of a binge

    i have managed since march 30th to have only one "bad" day

    but even then i logged it in and did my exercise....knowing i wouldn't break even ...i still hung in there and got up the next morning to start anew

    i have lost 14 lbs in roughly a month....i have exercised daily


    i mean ultimately i'm pretty happy with my progress

    i just feel like i am always just barely able to control myself

    i have made home fail proof and thanks to the limited places at work i can eat
    well i have been able to ignore the temptation so to speak

    but every time a meal is delayed or i'm around others who have "contraband"
    i just feel like an addict that is controlling myself by a thread

    i'm at my sister's now and am forcing myself to leave early because i can't be here with ice cream without eating it

    i allowed myself a small serving earlier and i find that all i want to do right now is eat that whole container of sara lee cheesecake bites

    my logical mind knows that i do not want this

    but i am almost angry that i can't have them
    it makes me feel really mentally ashamed and unhealthy

    why does food have so much power over me?
  • Erin1918
    Erin1918 Posts: 1
    I don't know why food has that power...but I can completely understand. Lately I have been thinking that I have an eating disorder....rather than just leftover baby weight. I feel like I want to eat constantly, and I feel a HIGH after eating. Especially high fat foods...I ate 3 donuts on Friday night. After eating 3 LARGE slices of pizza. Even though I felt sick, I wanted more.

    I think it's great that you have lost 14 pounds in one month and have been trying to hard to avoid temptation. Good for you! Take 1 day at a time...and even if you do slip up, remember that you can start fresh the next day.

    I can tell other people, but I can't seem to follow this myself!!!
  • meaganrh
    meaganrh Posts: 24
    When you're having cravings are you physically hungry or is it fueled by boredom or emotions?

    Physical cravings are caused by blood sugar imbalances (a spike of insulin sent to your brain when you eat a lot of carbs or fat without much protein). Or by nutritional deficiancies which can be remedied by taking a good quality multivitamin (I highly recommend researching your vitamins - Lyle MacWilliam wrote a great book on the subject "The Comparative Guide to Nutritional Supplements").

    Psychological cravings are related to bad habits - it takes 28 days to break those habits so stay strong!
    I find distracting myself usually helps, I know clients at the weightloss/health clinic I work at usually pick up a hobby like knitting or reading to stop the binges.

    All in all I wish you the best of luck with your continued success! You're doing great!!
  • pixiestick
    pixiestick Posts: 839 Member
    consuming food is such a psychological process. It's something that we control, and yet these binges send us out of control. I am not dr, but I do know that binging is a way of making us feel powerful and powerless at the same time... very, very, VERY destructive.

    Please, please find something positive, something reinforcing, something that speaks power and peace back into your life for these times when you are on the verge. I think we tell ourselves 'NO!' so much, and what our minds need is to be given a positive response with which to replace the negative one.

    When you feel the urge to eat the whole tup of ice cream, go for a walk, take a bath, read a book, do some yoga, drink a long and cold glass of water... and tell yourself that your body is worth the walk and the bath and the book and the yoga and the water MORE than it is worth the crap-binge. Tell your mind that you will remain in control without spiraling out of control, and that it is a good thing.

    Don't let your heart be weary. Hang in there. You can do it because you are doing it and you have done it. :flowerforyou:
  • kfeuvrel
    kfeuvrel Posts: 89 Member
    Hi whitehandlady,

    It sounds like you're having a really rough day, and also a really rough month.

    14lbs in a month is a lot of weight loss (which is usually a good thing), but it sure sounds like you're making it harder on yourself - mentally and physically - than you need to be. What happened to losing a pound a week? What happened to being kind to yourself? Not just with food, but with being as compassionate with yourself as you would be with a good friend, or someone close to you who made a not so stellar decision. What happened to taking it slow? Where's the fire? Where's your rest day?

    Weight loss should not be an exercise in white-knuckle control freakiness. If that's what it is for you - something's wrong. Your meals should be satisfying and filling. Your water intake should be 8 glasses a day, and that really makes all the salty/sweet cravings go away. The exercise should leave you spinning in endorphins, and energized and excited to eat healthy so you can look and feel your best.

    And for goodness sakes, if you want to eat more than one serving of something scrumptious delicious, eat more than one serving. I think you'll find that in January you could've eaten the whole box, but after an entire month of better eating habits, your stomach will rebel sooner than you think.

    Do some more research, and try to find an eating and exercise plan that makes you feel happy, and non-resentful. Life is too short for every day to be a misery, you're going to be eating every day for the rest of your life. Make each day delicious (just not high fat)!

    Much luck to you on your journey.:flowerforyou:
    Kathryn
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