So angry with myself!

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momof2boysvn
momof2boysvn Posts: 26
in Motivation and Support
I was doing really well on here. I was staying at or under my calorie goal, exercising everyday and lost 6 lbs. And then..... my TOM and Thanksgiving in the same week. I have been on a week long binge. I feel like I am out of control. I am drinking a ton of soda, snacking all day, not exercising and not at all watching my portions. I know the obvious thing to do is to stop doing all of these things. But it is sooo hard. I feel like an addict. I'm hoping that if I vent and tell others what I am doing to myself, it will be easier to get back on track. I am a closet eater. My husband and kids never see the things I eat. I hide them in cabinets and sneak a bite or a drink whenever I can. I have gained back 5 of the 6 lbs lost. I am so angry with myself. I just wish that I could have a healthy relationship to food. Thanks for reading my ramblings.

Replies

  • AmbiguousUserName
    AmbiguousUserName Posts: 9
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    I have totally been there! Food can be just as addictive, dangerous, and tough to quit as alcohol or drugs. I say it all the time, food addiction should treated like any other addiction! The first step is admitting you have a problem! You've done that much, now just try for one day to eat clean. One day! Don't worry about what you did last week or in the past. Just have one clean day. Once you've done that, try to have one more clean day. Then another. Then another. Next thing you know, you're back in the swing of things. If you "fall off the wagon" get your a** back on it again the next day. And, even though I know it's easier said than done, don't be so hard on yourself. You're only human!
  • BarbiNay
    BarbiNay Posts: 65 Member
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    Relax and refocus on what you want. Then set up your new plan. Find what the problem areas are. And see how they can be fixed. This is probably water weight. Up your water and put some lemon in it to help flush. The get the protein and veggies going. Set your self up on a eat this not that program. You dont need a book for it. Just do it in your mind. Then decide what kind of exercise you most enjoy doing. What relaxes your mind the most. Start small and work back into it. This doesn't have to be the end but a good start. If you would like to friend me I would love to give you the support you need to get up and go!! =)
  • momof2boysvn
    momof2boysvn Posts: 26
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    Thanks for the support. I see how you have lost a lot of weight. How have you been able to stick with it?
  • lradatz
    lradatz Posts: 61 Member
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    You will be alright... You notice you have a problem w it, you'll be able to manage it. There's days where I let myself go, but I always come back around. And once you start to work out again, you'll feel better about yourself as well. And you have the support on here to talk to. Best of luck to ya
  • StefThi
    StefThi Posts: 32 Member
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    I have got exactly the same problem. Closet eating... not even the people closest to me new about what I was doing as I am always eating very well around them. But as soon as they turn their back on me, in go the m&ms, cake etc etc... the more free time I had during the week where my boyfriend is at work all day and I had days off the worse it got... and on weekends with him being home I actually prayed for him to take a nap so I could secretly stuff myself....
    The really bad episode of this went on for about 3 months with single days of "being good" in between. I used to get up every day with the mind set on making it through the day "being good"... but when this suddenly stopped and I didn't even try anymore but just started eating crap straight away I knew I had to do something...(I also burst out in tears at the gym in front of one of the trainers after him asking me how i was doing which wasn't the best of experiences...)

    Now for 2 weeks I am eating very sensibly, not going crazy trying to eat as little as possible but trying to eat healthy and balancing it with exercise. I am feeling so much better which is why I don't understand why so often I return to old habits. The past days I had many attacks of wanting to binge and all my thoughts returned to revolve around food and I admit it scares me. I feel like if I go of the track ones, i wont be able to get back on it...

    So I understand completely what you are going through. But I agree with the other ladies here. Take it one day at a time. I would even say one meal at a time and work your way up.... and it will get easier and easier. And ones you are at 80% good 20% naughty you will feel so much better!

    What helps me a lot is to have healthy - naughty breakfasts like healthy pancakes (made with grated carrot and oats instead of flour etc) or add a bit of dark cocoa powder to the porridge in the morning to make it chocolaty without the guilt...

    I also found cinnamon to be a real miracle spice to stop cravings for junk and sweets. I don't know how but I honestly believe it to be the reason of my recent success. I put it in my porridge and cereal, coffee and tea, anything I bake and even on brussel sprouts!

    Hope you're doing well! If you need any support or any tricks, recipes etc feel free to add me :) i recently started a food blog and loooove looove loooove to talk about it ;)
  • lunarastro
    lunarastro Posts: 32 Member
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    Cinnamon is used to stabilize/lower blood sugar so no wonder it helps you with your sweet tooth. You can get capsules of cinnamon in th vitamin section if you want to add more to your diet. Be careful though, you have to take the capsules with ALOT of water. If you dont, sometimes thay just hang around in you upper esophagus and if you burp or cough, a cloud of cinnamon will come our of your mouth and it is not pleasant. ;)
  • Jessica2Skinny
    Jessica2Skinny Posts: 118 Member
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    I did the same thing, I went from loosing 10 pounds in 21 days ... to gained 5 of it back after snacking and not exercising. Honestly, what made me go back on track is one simple thing.... when i go to eat bad food, i say to myself "what taste better, being thin or this cookie?" and i would put the cookie down.
  • mahidac
    mahidac Posts: 126 Member
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    just get back on the bike! I think everyone falls off every now and then
  • ShrinkRapt451
    ShrinkRapt451 Posts: 447 Member
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    Addiction is all about stimulating the brain's pleasure centers, and carbs and fats are really good for that. Hardly surprising that people tend not to get obese on high-protein, low-carb diets. Nor do they reach for the grilled chicken breast when they're craving comfort food. :)

    Agreed that kicking that addiction is a day-by-day thing. Sometimes minute-by-minute. I can't remember who said this on another thread, but it really got my brain on the right track about getting back on the wagon:

    If you had a flat tire and couldn't drive your car, would you slash the other three? NO! You'd switch out your damaged tire with a good one, and keep on driving. You might need help doing that, but you wouldn't deliberately damage your car (or abandon it).

    Totally agree about cinnamon. One of my new favorite snacks is cinnamon-roasted almonds (sold in 100 calorie packs; Emerald Nuts makes them). I also like mint tea; satisfies my need for sweet with zero calories.

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