So your ex that you dated for 10 months

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_beachgirl_
_beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
in Chit-Chat
asks (demands) that you send back everything he (or she) ever bought you even Christmas presents for your kids, what do you do?
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Replies

  • EMc4452
    EMc4452 Posts: 187 Member
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    Give him the stuff back and get him out of your life.
  • yager8725
    yager8725 Posts: 267 Member
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    ignor, unless item is expesive like jewlery.
  • dez_yaoichan
    dez_yaoichan Posts: 454
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    send him(her) a pic of the kids playing with all of them with a nice little "merry x-mas" at the bottom :laugh:
  • CoraGregoryCPA
    CoraGregoryCPA Posts: 1,097 Member
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    Nothing.. they were gifts. He/she cannot ask for them back.

    I watch people's court all the time (lol).. a gift is a gift, unless it was under condition to marry, like an engagement ring. If you accepted the ring with agreeing to marry and then there is a break up, the person who gave the ring can get it back.
  • datguy2011
    datguy2011 Posts: 477 Member
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    Tell him to take a hike... mutual gifts always remain in the relationship... if you loved the person at the time enough to give them something... that always over powers the "that's my stuff" line. But... how coward is it that they want stuff from the kids back? lol... what the hell is wrong with that person?
  • mmuzzatti
    mmuzzatti Posts: 706 Member
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    Ignore it!
  • 1horsetown
    1horsetown Posts: 247 Member
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    Be eternally grateful he's an ex and choose more wisely next time.

    They were gifts given without strings attached. They are your's. That said...if they were heirlooms of his family he was dumb enough to give away, give them back to his mother.
  • spitfire1962
    spitfire1962 Posts: 347 Member
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    What a loser! Do you think that he may have wanted to recycle the gifts to someone else? Just ignore him and block his number.
  • asyouseefit
    asyouseefit Posts: 1,265 Member
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    Ignore him.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    You give the finger and say you'll press harassment charges if it doesn't stop. Be hardcore about it!
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
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    My first reaction was, "WTH?"

    Then I thought, "Depends on if I wanted the stuff."

    Then I realized ... 10 months?? How much stuff could it have been?

    It's kind of jerky to ask for stuff back. A gift is a gift. So that tells me, something ain't right with this guy. Especially the word "demand." You might really want to cut all ties. But if he's truly not right, his demands will continue.

    Is it possible to box it all up and send it C.O.D.? Ok, that wouldn't be very wise if he is off kilter.

    I don't know his personality well enough to know if your life would be better if you followed his demands or if you just ignored him.

    My vote is for whatever makes your life and the life of your children better.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
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    Nope. It was a gift, not a loan. You don't have to give them back.
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
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    I would send back the items he gave you.. will the kids notice if you give back their things? It sounds like this guy is using this as an excuse to stay in touch with you. I would do anything to cut all ties. If the kids would notice, I would just send him what he gave you and money to cover their things. Don't engage him in conversation over it, just send it and ignore all futher conversation.
  • floshideaway
    floshideaway Posts: 101 Member
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    If he/she stoop low enough to ask for that it is a good thing he/she is out of your life. DO NOT give anything back, a gift is a gift, no matter the value of it, and as mentioned earlier an engagement ring is the only item that does not fall into this rule. In the event of becoming persistent or threatening, a restraining order can be applied.
  • Justjoshin
    Justjoshin Posts: 999 Member
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    Giving advice without knowing the OP or the Ex is pretty tough.

    Generally, of course, a gift is a gift, and screw them...

    BUT.. if this is going to cause some psycho to start stalking you, harassing you/kids, or trying to steal the stuff back, give it back and get him out of your life.
  • Insinr8r
    Insinr8r Posts: 45
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    I'd tell him/her that you've sold them and used the money for a trip or something that you've always wanted. They can't take back what you don't have. I've done it and it worked for me.:bigsmile:
  • anovasjo
    anovasjo Posts: 382 Member
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    I'm sorry, this must be such a stressful situation for you and your family.

    But girl, you've gotta realize that's a disgusting move he's pulling.

    How I would react is entirely based on whether this guy has exhibited any stalker-ish behaviour before.
    Don't give the gifts back in either case; but your behaviour about the whole thing can determine whether this guy is going to continue to be a problem in your life or not.

    If he's a creep, giving his stuff back is only going to prolong contact with him, and also it will let him know that he can still make you do whatever he wants. Giving his things back won't make him leave you alone, he will find some other thing to pester you about.
    Ignore him completely. If he keeps bothering you, change your number and block his e-mail address. Delete him from facebook. The end.

    If he's a nice dude but he's just acting really immature, you should compose 1 really concise e-mail about why you aren't giving the things back (they were gifts, your kids would be upset, he's acting irrationally) and hopefully he comes to his senses (maybe the two of you can still have a civil, adult relationship with each other in the future). If he still wants the presents back, cut all ties.

    Just my $0.02. Feel free to message me if you want an ear :flowerforyou:


    edited: sorry, I forgot MFP doesn't like profanity :)
  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
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    The ultimate goal is to never have to hear from this psycho again. Changing my phone number, moving, and I have to change jobs too since I can't change my number there.

    It's a shame everything I need to do because this person is so mentally unstable.

    I will send everything back, including the playkitchen and easy bake oven he got my daughter last Christmas. I don't use anything he gave me. I'd rather not be reminded of the horrible things he did to us.

    Maybe he is trying to regift them to his next victim.

    ETA: Most of the gifts were given 12-15 months ago. I've not asked for any of the gifts I gave him back.
  • traceracer
    traceracer Posts: 303 Member
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    Anyone that wants to take gifts back from kids is obviously seeking attention. I can see how he might want the gifts he gave YOU back, but the kids? REALLY??? Did you hurt him really bad or what???
  • anovasjo
    anovasjo Posts: 382 Member
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    I *hope* he is going to "regift them to his next victim" for your sake, because that will mean his attention is on somebody else and he doesn't care about harassing you anymore.

    You should read "the gift of fear" by Gavin de Becker.

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