Need numbers advice

Hi MFPfolks!

I know there are many similar posts but I was hoping for some specific advise about my net calorie intake.

First- I'm at a healthy weight and have been for my "journey"-- I got to my goal weight this summer when I had more time to be active but I gained about 5-7 lbs back due to surgery, schedule changes, and marathon training (I know that seem counter-intuitive, but I was focusing more on fueling my runs than on counting calories). I had taken a break from my journal for a little while and started back up just under 4 weeks ago. I am trying to focus more on getting back to my goal weight (132) and then staying there. I exercise usually 4-5 days/wk, including both cardio and lifting.

Since starting back up, I've had my net daily goal set at 1700. MFP tells me it should be around 1550 to lose .5/wk. I tried that when I first started and just simply couldn't do it. I get cranky when I'm hungry and I was hungry ALL the time. I checked out my BMR on several sites and the average (they're all different) is 1450, which makes sense why I couldn't stick to a 1550 restriction. I had it at 1800 for awhile (before my "break") but decided to change it to 1700 and not count veggies. I know some of you may take offense to that-- but I'd rather eat as many veggies as I can and fill up with "Free" food first and then count the rest. I know, a calorie is still a calorie and all that but I am a little more active than the "lightly active" setting I am on, so I figure it all works out in the end.

My problem is simply that I do really well for a few days then I go way overboard for a few days.
I noticed that the only days I can stay close to my net goal are the days I work out, because I can eat more. I looked back over the month and although there were some days I was "under my calorie goal," there was only one day when I was under 1700, and that was my third day of tracking. I worked up my averages out of curiosity and my daily average for the month (my net calories, after exercise has been taken out) and it is 1930/day not including vegetables. That's my average. In all reality, I eat really well for 3-4 days then hunger gets the best of me. I eat a bunch of extra calories. Sometimes it's junk (like the last 2 days) bc I figure once I've gone over so far, I might as well just "splurge." Usually though, it's just that I'm still hungry after eating what I'd normally eat and end up eating more. I try to include plenty of protein, esp after I lift, and I also eat grains/carbs.
I don't want to fall into a cycle of deprivation then bingeing. I know that can't be good for me. But I'm worried about increasing my calories too much bc I don't want to gain.
I figure my options are....
-Keep it as 1700 and just keep trying to get there (i.e. doing what I'm doing)
-Increase to 1900-2000 (closer to what I've been eating) and run the risk of eating even more bc I'm allowing more each day but possibly evening it out throughout the week? That would mean eating much more after exercise calories.
-Some other option I'm not thinking of
Not counting is not an option bc I will quicly resort to eating around 3000/day (as I have the last 2 days!).

Any input/advise? I need to figure out a way to set it up in a way I can stick with.