More progress than I realized

So here's my progress. This weekend I was looking for pictures for our family Christmas card.

I was stunned to find what is really a very accurate before picture. The week after the picture in the middle was taken, I started a weight loss challenge at work. It was organized by Jaci34, another MFP member and my IRL friend. I thought I could lose a few pounds, but I didn't feel overweight. I thought I still looked like the picture on the left, from our wedding only two years before. The picture on the right was tonight on my cell phone. I'm wearing the same shorts and same shirt as from the middle picture. They actually fit now. I lost 17 pounds in that first 12 week challenge. For the last 9 weeks I've been maintaining and lost another 2 pounds.

I used Body for Life--high intensity interval training, significant heavy weights, and a diet that has more protein than the MFP defaults. I also started to enjoy running. For about the last 6 weeks I have not been able to run due to injuring myself falling off a treadmill. I did start New Rules of Lifting for Women since the treadmill incident. For the last week and a half I've been sick. However, two weeks into New Rules, I realized that my calves and ankles had shrunk considerably. I was ONLY lifting heavy--no cardio. I hope to get back on track with the New Rules on Wednesday of this week, if I've kicked my cold. I'll run again in the New Year. Seeing these pictures has re-inspired me to lose more fat and inches. Even after losing 18 pounds, I'm barely in the healthy range for my height.

I just think it is amazing that I got that big without realizing it. When I first started losing, I felt sad because to me I didn't *look* any differently. Clearly, that was because I didn't realize how I really looked when I started. I kept measurements and that kept me going. I also took pictures in a bikini periodically, but I'm not sharing those any time soon.

The most disturbing thing is the self talk I have. I'm a grown woman, but I didn't want to share these pictures because I didn't want to be judged. Of course, I love the other success stories and would never judge someone for not being model-shaped. Why am I judging me? I catch myself being very mean to myself in my head over having gained the weight I did. My head is being an excellent example of a high school mean girl. I thought I left them behind 20 years ago, but here they are in my own talk to myself.

Well, here goes nothing. I'll post. Please be gentle.

ETA: I'm not so excellent with the photo editor, so sorry the more recent pics aren't the same level of zoom in on me and that the wedding one seems to take up more than its share of space.

Also realized the dumb picture didn't have the dates, June 2009, June 2011, and December 2011.