I am having a hard time.. I need help!

usmclc07
usmclc07 Posts: 5
edited October 6 in Introduce Yourself
The past 3 months have been extremely difficult for me. I have had no drive in losing weight since I found out that my mom was diagnosed with cancer in September. I keep looking at myself in the mirror, hating what I am seeing, and still having no drive to do something about it. I thought I would just give it up until January 1, but I have decided that is the weaker side of me peaking out. I ordered a Zumba dvd set to get me going (which I am excited about!) and I have a treadmill that hasn't been used in months! I am only 27, I shouldn't be giving up on myself. For some reason, I feel like there is no hope for me. I used to weight 150 lbs when my husband & I got together, that was 10 years ago. Now, I weigh 210... I hate it. I just can't figure out what to do!

Sorry for my rant, but this is the only way I can get it out into the open and be optimistic about new ideas... Please help!

Lots of Love,
Lindsay

Replies

  • Crystalchaos72
    Crystalchaos72 Posts: 531
    Hi! The exercise will help with your stress and it is a good sign that you are excited about your dvd's! I am sorry to hear about your mom :( once you atrt moving your body on a regular basis, aside from daily activity, you will hopefully feel better and learn to LOVE exercise. And keep yourself honest and log everything you eat and drink, even if it isn't ideal. It is a lifestyle not a diet. The best of luck to you
  • turningstar
    turningstar Posts: 393 Member
    Im very sorry about your mom. Try to be optimistic. It will help you with losing weight, and dealing with stress in general. Take small steps so that you start feeling better about yourself. Every day is a new challenge, and another chance to succeed.
    Start drinking lots of water and try to eat more protein instead of breads, etc. Take a long quiet walk and reflect on your life so far, and what you want to change for your future. When you're done, you will have taken the first of many steps to reach your goal!
    Feel free to friend me if you'd like!
  • Carrot1971
    Carrot1971 Posts: 272 Member
    Its hard to get motivated. Its a long journey back to fit. But you are taking it one step at a time. Thats all you can do. Good job getting the DVDs. Don't beat yourself up too much. But remember you are doing this for your HEALTH!! Do it for your mom..she wants you as healthy as you can be, right? Its important to have support and friends you can lean on...feel free to add me...I always need more support...lol. Good luck and I know you can do this
  • Mummsy
    Mummsy Posts: 347 Member
    Sorry about your mom's diagnosis. I hope you get motivated and get healthy. I bet your mom would love to see that. We are blessed that we can walk and move and get healthy. Glad you have a hubby that loves you no matter what you weigh. You CAN do this! Try to be grateful for all that your body can do no matter what size you are! Blessings.
  • usmclc07
    usmclc07 Posts: 5
    Thank you all for the lovely words of motivation & encouragement. I could really use all I can get right about now! It means the world to me, it really does!!
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 909 Member
    For me when my mom was diagnosed with BC i signed up for a BC race and did it FOR my mom! After I did my first 1/2 marathon and was super proud of myself.. i said, if she has to go thru all that shes going thru, this is the least i can do for her! And it supports the cause for everybody all over the world. Thats been a few years back and I have had ups and downs, losses and gains, but I still am signed up for a race Feb2012! Hug your mom, love her! Know its not the end and do something for both of you guys.. UH i just gave myself tears LOL
  • Cathleenr
    Cathleenr Posts: 332
    the majority of your weight loss will come from diet, not exercise. you sound disciplined and motivated and that is a very powerful combination. keeping your calorie intake and macros under control may not be as immediately satisfying as 45 minutes of jillian michaels, but its the key. i know people say it all the time, but i was stuck between 200 (NEVER UNDER) and 240 for, ohhhhhh 40 years? and i did it. im way below what i ever weighed, i do figure competitions and now im into the science of nutrition and how it does what it does. really. if i can do it, anyone can. EVERYone can!
    good luck!
  • Prozack1964
    Prozack1964 Posts: 318
    sorry about your mom I know how you feel I have 4 freinds that have cancer and I lost my mom back in 2000 after I gave her a kindey to try to save her but the doctors gave her bad blood and killed her and I gave up on everything I am just now getting some of my slef back and trying to reclaim who I am again. It is hard but you can do it you just have to make up your mind to and when you fall pick your self up and try again and keep going and the right friends on here will help alot too so good lunck I hope the best for you and have a great day
  • DWilbanks
    DWilbanks Posts: 420 Member
    Sorry to hear about your mom. I've been in your shoes and know the stress that goes with it. If you ever want to vent or just talk or need an extra kick in the butt, feel free to add me.:flowerforyou:
  • mleoni092708
    mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
    I am very sorry to hear about your mother. I can only imagine how stressed you are. If nothing else, try to get in some exercise. It will help you burn off your frustration and sadness over your mother's illness and your weight gain. You CAN do this. I have zumba and I love it. It's helped me lose a good bit of my weight so far. ((((HUGS)))) Feel free to add me for support.
  • bluestheart
    bluestheart Posts: 10
    I am so sorry about your mom. I have had a rough time as well. I am almost 27 and I need to lose about 65 pounds. I am really struggling. I would be more than willing to exchange encouragement notes with you! I am so sorry for everything you are going through. You are right - you should not be giving up on yourself! :) Hugs.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Prayers go out to you and your mom during this difficult time. I'm glad to see you're trying to be positive and looking to make healthy choices. The GOOD NEWS is: You will see the most payoff from diet and exercise in the beginning! If you really attend to your food journal and make sure you fit in that "me" time to exercise, you will feel better, have more energy, and be more capable of dealing with the stresses of life. I really support the other poster's suggestion of signing up for a marathon to help support cancer research and cures.

    Find something to motivate you, set small goals and start today!!! There is no tomorrow...

    God bless you both!
  • aaleigha1
    aaleigha1 Posts: 408 Member
    sit down and write a list of all the advantages to you of losing weight
    some of those will be about health some will be to wear something in your closet
    some will be about better mental health

    so sit and make the list and read it often every morning before getting out of bed

    its a simple technique but it works for a lot of people
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    You are too young and beautiful to be giving up! Get on the treadmill TODAY! 20 minutes! Then do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next! Baby Steps!!!!!! The exercise will help you feel better and help you get the energy you need to deal with your other life challenges.
  • josery1630
    josery1630 Posts: 205 Member
    You can do it! Just take it one day at a time. Once you start exercising, you'll feel better and you'll be better able to manage all those emotions you have running through you. You just have to make it through the first week and you'll notice the difference.

    On the days I DO NOT want to work out, I force myself to get dressed first. That usually solves my problem. If I still don't want to go after I've taken the time to get dressed, then I force myself to go to the gym/put in the DVD and tell myself that if after 10 minutes I just can't do it, then I can quit. Only one time have I actually quit after 10 minutes.

    You got this!
  • trainorgirl
    trainorgirl Posts: 44
    Well.. the best gift you can give yourself and husband is the gift of health!!! use how your feeling for motivation!!!
  • josiesumerlin
    josiesumerlin Posts: 79
    I'm sorry to hear about your mom, sending well wishes her way! As for you my friend the fact that you are still logging on to MFP is the first step! Things will click again focus on logging your food good and bad you'll get back to it promise!
  • emmyvera
    emmyvera Posts: 599 Member
    I too am very sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis. I can relate to you and what you are going through.

    I was very faithful to my healthy lifestyle and lost almost 20 lbs in a year's time or so. Last summer my mother suffered from a heart attack and stroke within one month. I was so tired, stressed and sad. It was one of the hardest things I had to go through. My diet and exercise routine went out the window. Between visiting her in the hospital and trying to take care of life in general, I was a total wreck. I stopped taking care of myself.

    Several months ago I noticed, bamn!.... .. the weight started coming back and I noticed I was so tired and then the anxiety was making me physically ill. What I learned from this is that no matter what - I must take care of myself. And taking care of myself emotionally and physically comes from reducing stress, a good diet and exercise, sleep, etc.

    My mother lives near me now and I help my dad take care of her. I workout and eat healthier again and I'm so much happier. I don't get depressed like I used too or get down on myself. I just do my best! This has served as an example for my parents too. I implement my habits onto my parents and now they go to the YMCA and eat healthier than they once did.

    I am an only child, so this means a lot to me. I want us ALL to be together as much as possible and that means staying healthy, taking care of ourselves and each other. :flowerforyou:

    Please feel free to add me, if you like.

    Positive and warm wishes your way :smile:
  • Droppinelbees
    Droppinelbees Posts: 26 Member
    Wow, your story is touching. I'm embarrassed to say it almost made me cry. I think I hear your struggle and can relate to it. I'm so sorry about your Mom, I truly am. My father passed from cancer- it was a brain tumor back in 1989 but I still hold that pain with me especially since he wasn't able to see all my accomplishments and my new family. Listen, I know how it is to look at yourself and be disgusted and to have that want to go back to what you used to look like. I salute you first off for not putting your weight loss efforts aside for next year. Everyone does that including myself. That is so stand up that you said no I want it now, not in Jan. That shows your determination. I have a serious story myself that I won't get into but lets just say I am so sick and tired of being overweight, no thats not true- technically I'm obese and I have the passion to do something about it. My problem is I'm used to going on deployments and losing the weight because there's no fast food in Iraq and all you can do is exercise. But its a very different story when I come back to the states. All the temptation, the high temp family operations lol, school, work, fatigue, and then the convenience of getting delicious fast food. Thats been the problem but I realize that food is making me so tired and not myself. When I actually switch back to eating clean I feel tons of energy and I feel better. But like everyone else I slip up. For me, I realize that food is a drug, fast food is a bad drug that keeps me addicted so for me I truly can't go simply try this because an alcoholic can't simply just have a drink. Just know that I got your back and will support you all day long. Lets keep in touch and make our passions and dreams a reality? You game???
  • DBiddle69
    DBiddle69 Posts: 682 Member
    Sorry about your mom...Hoping for the best for her!

    Let's look at things a little differently...things have been extremely difficult for your mom....you on the other hand have become distracted.

    First and foremost you are still here logging in to MFP, second you have reached out for encouragement, so I am not sure I agree that you have no drive. Now for the next step…it takes three months to create a habit which is what you have done…you have created the habit of not working out. So now we need to begin a new one or fix this one!

    When I began my weight loss I said I was going to do it as easy as possible and I did! I started out walking on my treadmill for just one hour a day at 3 mph and built it up from there. The treadmill is the only thing I have done in my whole program!

    If you need more motivation look at your little boy and think about how great it will be to do different things with him when you are healthier and more energetic….that would be motivation for me!

    I see lots of hope for you…once we get that bad habit fixed! :smile:
  • MeguPARN
    MeguPARN Posts: 13
    Cancer diagnosis is tough, life-changing, and really makes a person review their priorities. I'll keep your Mom in my prayers. Getting back on the wagon is difficult for me, too. But you know what I'm really fed up about? I'm fed up about feeling insecure when I work out. I want to be confident and strong. I know that working out will make me feel good and increase endorphins so I need to get moving! Zumba will be awesome. It's so fun and such a great way to build up confidence at home and start to show yourself that your body makes improvements each time you do your workout. Keep up the good work, don't be afraid to cry it out, and when all else fails, take a boxing class to beat the pulp out of a punching bag! :flowerforyou:
  • aims78
    aims78 Posts: 75 Member
    I am very sorry you are having such a hard time, and especially about your mother. My prayers will be going out to you and your family... You are going through a lot of stress right now, and exercising will help that.. you will feel better about yourself... it seems you are taking the steps in the right direction. You can add me as a friend if you would like some additional support!... Wish you the best!
  • uboom
    uboom Posts: 69 Member
    Lindsay,
    Your not giving up!!!! You are motivated to help yourself!! The fact that you have a profile here and put yourself out in a post to everyone shouts volumes!!!! Life is about balance, from exercise, to diet, to eating clean, and indulging from time to time. Best thing you can do is be on here. Everyone on here wants what you want. To live a great life and be healthy. So live an active healthy life and feed your body what's good for it and the weight will take care of itself.

    Awesome!!!
    Brent
  • drussell5557
    drussell5557 Posts: 10
    I'm very sorry to hear about your problems. Life gets like that sometimes--we've all been through this kind of thing. I'm new to MFP, and I love it; however, having struggled with weight for all of my 61 years (I was born fat), I've finally found something that helps both my weight and my depression: yoga. I sincerely wish I had been doing yoga for the past forty years. If so, I never would have gained the weight I did, nor would my depression gotten so bad that I needed antidepressants. I guarantee (I'd make a bet with you, but it's probably not allowed) that if you practice yoga on a regular basis, 2 to 3 times a week at a reputable studio, you will feel better within two weeks. I once weighed 196 pounds, but through both diet and exercise, I got down to 150. Big improvement, but yoga did the rest. I now weigh 143 and am slowly working my way down to 135. I've only been doing yoga for 13 months, but I no longer take antidepressants and I feel wonderful! Please don't try to do it on your own, though. Go to a reputable yoga studio and join the "community." Good luck!!
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