Declining Treat = Mad Friend

sc1572
sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
edited October 2024 in Food and Nutrition
With my new lifestyle choices, I normally allow a small treat each day such as a Smart One, Weight Watcher, or Skinny Cow ice cream, or a little bit of dark chocolate, and I enjoy being healthy. Every so often, I'll treat myself to a brownie, cookie, ice cream, or go out to eat, etc. to satisfy my cravings or for a special occasion. So, tonight, I am going to get frozen yogurt with my friend since I haven't had it in about two months, and it's our way of celebrating finishing the semester. Before beginning this journey, I would have it whenever I wanted, and as much as I wanted.

I've already worked out and planned my meals for today, and will have enough, even some calories leftover, to go. However, one of my other friends asked me if I wanted to get some with her tomorrow. I politely declined, and suggested we do something else since I was getting some today. So, she suggests instead that we go to Dairy Queen for blizzards. I told her that I'm watching my intake of treats, especially for the holidays, so we could either do something else or we could go, but I wouldn't be getting anything. She insisted that we get ice cream somewhere, and that I could always just get a small. But, I stood my ground, and she got mad.

I didn't want to make her mad, but I just wish it was easier for people to understand that this isn't an anti-treat thing, but a lifestyle to where I enjoy in moderation. But, as a 19 year old who has a lot of unhealthy friends, it's not possible. Plus, two of my friends have birthdays coming up, and then Christmas is right after, so I know I'm going to enjoy myself at each of those since I am taking my friends out to treat them, and have two Christmases between my family.

Anyone else ever receive comments like these, or have been in situations like this before? I didn't know trying to be healthier was a bad thing. :/

EDIT: She is one of those naturally thin and small framed girls, never works out, never gains. I, on the other hand, can have one day of bad eating, and I gain instantly, have curves, and love to workout.

Replies

  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,519 Member
    dairy queen dilly bar = 100 cals, I believe.
  • Faintgreeneyes
    Faintgreeneyes Posts: 729 Member
    I eat ice cream (regular ice cream) almost every day. I just make sure that it fits into my cals for the day. If it didn;t fit into your calories, then you did the right thing. If she couldn't accept that, or be okay with making another choice, then that is her issue and not yours. I know its hard to stand your ground with people, especially those that are friends, but your health and wellness come before anyone elses. If she can't handle that, then perhaps she's not a great friend to have around for the long haul?

    Good job with sticking to your plan! I am sure it was hard, but good for chosing yourself over her.
  • nosugarcoating
    nosugarcoating Posts: 194 Member
    If you stayed polite, she should have been understanding. Your friendship isn't held together by ice cream, is it?

    Luckily most of my friends have been really understanding and helpful, even suggesting going out to eat a salad instead of something unhealthy without my prompting.

    Maybe by choosing healthy foods you make your friend feel bad for wanting ice cream? Not that that's your fault, I'm just trying to find an explanation for her behavior.

    And some people also have a hard time accepting change, not just in themselves but also in their friends.
    This article explains why: http://edition.cnn.com/2011/11/14/health/lose-weight-mouth-shut-secret/index.html

    "As human beings we have a difficult time with change, Walz continues. So when someone we love alters his or her lifestyle, we have a problem dealing with it -- even if that transformation is positive.
    "Deliberately or not, the family, the friends, the other people who are part of that individual's culture will resist the change," Walz says. "(They) will try to change them back to what the culture tolerates.""
  • devilwhiterose
    devilwhiterose Posts: 1,157 Member
    Ya...I had a friend stick an open pack of fruit snacks in my face for 20 minutes while I was driving because "one couldn't hurt"...and I just didn't want one!

    Pisses me off. :grumble:
  • Maggie_Pie1
    Maggie_Pie1 Posts: 322 Member
    it's difficult, but don't let it sway you or get you down. If she can't be supportive, then how good of a friend is she, really?

    Suggest going window shopping in the mall, or a movie, or something like that if she wants to hang out.
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