Does a doctor's approach make a difference?

If a doctor is unsupportive or critical, then i believe most people will become discouraged. The doctor i was seeing was great. He was supportive, kind and genuinely cared about his patients. He was honest without being rude. Not every doctor has the ability to be like this.

:huh: It makes a HUGE difference. Doctor or not... would you want ANYone saying "Hey fattie! Get to work and lose some of that flab!"... I doubt it. The majority of us would say "Screw off buddy" and go eat a cake. Notice I didn't say "Slice of"...nope A CAKE:blushing: . Just because someone is a doctor, nurse etc. There is never a reason to be a jerk. And unfortunately many many doctors can be:noway: .

My doctor was blunt without being rude. It wasn't like I didn't know I was fat it was his honesty that said hey look your cholesterol is high unless you want to be on medication I suggest you drop some weight. Now whenever I go and see him he congratulates me on how well I am doing and asks me what is working for me so he can tell other patients (he is skinny).

If a person is obese or well on their way, I think the doctor should bring it up tactfully, and try their best not to embarrass the patient. I have been on the opposite end of this, where doctors have accused me of being bulimic (the dentist actually asked me this! WTH?) and they have expressed concern about my weight and asked a series of questions to determine if I was anorexic, which is offensive when you aren't.

I prefer honest, polite doctors who tell me the truth. There is a big difference between "sugar coating" and "being blunt", in my opinion. A good doctor can tell the honest truth without being hurtful or smacking the patient upside the head (metaphorically).

For example, my doctor looked at my weight and said "It looks like you have gained some weight. What can we do to help get rid of those extra pounds so you do not have health problems from them?" And then we discussed the options, with her being light hearted and honest throughout the entire process. I knew I had gained weight, she knew I had gained weight, and we both knew that the amount of weight was not healthy.

In the past I have needed to approch doctors (particularly male doctors) about weight. At the time, I was badly underweight as a result of medication. He knew it and was obviously embarassed to talk about it. Once the subject was brought up, though, we were able to find solutions. Why do I mention this? Because if your doctor is too soft-handed to bring it up, you need to bring it up for them. Once the situation is in the open, solutions can be found. If your doctor is the opposite, and talking about weight feels more like being beaten over the head, then tell him/her that you appreciate their help but their approach is a bit painful. The doctor can not improve their soft-skills unless they know there is a problem. If needed, ask the doctor to refer you to a dietician or weight specialist.

Be blunt, though my doctor never mentioned much about my weight, I was always active and never had any signs of health problems due to my weight.

My doctor told me I was now in the overweight category and needed to lose weight. I told her that I was trying. She told me that I was just getting old and would have to work harder. It may be true, but a little more advice and comfort would be nice. She didn't inquire about eating patterns, about exercise, or what I had tried to do. She did not seem to care that my thyroid was slightly sluggish (which can impact some people).

I found a new doctor.

I had two doctors once....My gyno and my Thyroid doctor. Both were telling me to lose weight.

The Gyno was rude and made me cry in his office. When I did lose about 15lbs he would just tell me it's not enough. That I need to lose more.

The Thyroid doctor was honest and told me I needed to lose weight. But he did it in a kinder manner. He actually helped my by giving me a list of foods to stay away from and gave me an exact amount of calories to reach everyday. When he saw I had lost 15 lbs he encouraged me to lose more. Also told me that I was doing a great job.

Now....I had two doctors with two different approaches. You can see which one made a difference and which one made it worse.

I think it's easy for doctors to tell you you're overweight and need to lose, but it would be oh so helpful if they actually had some valid, accurate information to help you with. I've been doing a lot of research over the last 6 months both here on MFP and elsewhere so I knew what my BMR was, what my calorie intake needed to be, and I was losing weight. But the doc came back with the old " you need to eat 1200 calorie" stuff. He was surprised when I showed him a few weight loss calorie calculators(including MFP) that countered what he was recommending. I also told him about MFP and the great people, support and tools that are here.

At the end of the visit I think he had a desire to do a little more research and hopefully can be a little more helpful to the next patient he has that is struggling with weight loss.

In the middle of my PCOS treatment, I was sent to see a Dermatologist for my hair-loss problem and male-pattern hair growth issues.

He had read my entire history, found a few things that I was never tested for in my blood work.. so prior to seeing him, I went and had the blood work done which helped him to care for me.

Thankfully with a change in BCP and adding in spironolactone, sloooooooowly and gradually my hair was growing back and the hair that was growing where it didnt belong was going buh-bye real fast!!!

The dermatologist asked me ".... what are you doing for weight loss efforts?" I had absolutely NO problem with him asking me because he wasnt being rude, or nasty about it. In fact, I have told his wife (who also is a dermatologist there), that I really appreciate her husband's direct but kind way of talking with me. I dont want a doctor to treat me poorly where I have never found a team of doctors before who were so willing to work with me and not past judgement...

Her response was "thats because I keep him in line with the ladies! " ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I actually received a call from my Dermatologist one time on the weekend... he was telling me how much he appreciated my not jumping on the assumption-wagon and automatically assuming he was being a jerk or insensitive because he was about to answer to the NH Medical Board of Ethics on this same subject.

I NEARLY DROPPED THE PHONE.. this man is the sweetest man, the most knowledged in my PCOS/Dermatological side of medical care and I mean - HELLO, he helped make me more female looking again, and got rid of my "GEICO" look within six months! ROFLMAO!!!

Without telling me any personal information, he shared with me how a patient had filed a grievance against him with regard to her weight.. she is 250lbs overweight, PCOS, insulin resistance, the whole kit-and-kaboodle... and he asked her the same question, "...and what are you doing for your weight loss efforts?" and she had a full blown fight with him, accusing him of being insensitive, no bed-side manner and was yelling loudly to the point that the Medical Assistants had to come in and help him out (lets face it, female patient, male doctor... talk about potential liability when the door is closed).....

I told my Dermatologist, that I want to go to the appeals board with him. I was basically crying because this man is not the cruel man that patient purposely pegged him for and I was not about to see him get penalized for something he isnt.... I would do this for my Endocrinologist (love her immensely), my PCP (known him for 16 years and my mother used to serve him breakfast at the restaurant she worked) and would do it again for my Dermatologist.

Tell-it-like-it-is with a good bed-side manner is the BEST way to go!

It totally depends on the patient's personality I think. I have a very sensitive personality, so if you yell at me, I pretty much "shut down". My regular doctor (internist) pretty much would just yell at me, "you need to lose weight, blah blah blah"...and my favorite line, "what haaaaapened". Recently I have been going to this cardiologist and she had a more calm and nuturing approach. She did something very motivating to me in July of this year she said, you are coming back here in 6 months. Why not in that time lose 20 pounds. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. See that is the key, is convincing people that they can do it. So when I go on Jan. 25th, 2012, I will have lost about 70 pounds and I think she will need a cardiologist herself. Oh yeah it is all good. ))

It totally depends on the patient's personality I think. I have a very sensitive personality, so if you yell at me, I pretty much "shut down". My regular doctor (internist) pretty much would just yell at me, "you need to lose weight, blah blah blah"...and my favorite line, "what haaaaapened". Recently I have been going to this cardiologist and she had a more calm and nuturing approach. She did something very motivating to me in July of this year she said, you are coming back here in 6 months. Why not in that time lose 20 pounds. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. See that is the key, is convincing people that they can do it. So when I go on Jan. 25th, 2012, I will have lost about 70 pounds and I think she will need a cardiologist herself. Oh yeah it is all good. ))

a) Great results due to your efforts to lose the weight!

b) I agree that the message conveyed has to be honest & comprehensive but if the doctor is really interested in the patient, then the message also needs to be delivered in a manner in which that patient can internalize it and make informed decisions. Being "blunt" without understanding if that is an effective communication style seems to me to indicate a true lack of caring about the patient. People are quite different between each other on what constitutes a motivating message - the end game is that the patient has to make the lifestyle changes, therefore the message needs to help the patient rather than the medical person just "checking the box" on saying "I told them so" . The key here is to have a meaningful communicating relationship between the doctor and patient - and this can take time which, to be fair to the doctors, they often find difficult to find...