Am I screwing things up for myself here?...

escadachic · December 2011

I tend to get frustrated with trying so hard to maintain or lose weight and after gaining some of that lost weight, I get desperate and cut my cals too much.

So I tend to go from one extreme to another.

I get bored and disheartened at time and go stuff it and eat too much and then off course, get all down on myself for gaining some of that weight I worked so hard to lose. And then, I get obsessed with trying to lose that weight and go below the recommended minimum of 1200 cals per day.

So, am I just totally sabotaging things by doing this?

I suspect the answer is yes. It's just so hard to be consistent when your weight fluctuates so much and losing those last 5 kgs is SO friggen hard!

Am I best to just try stick to 1200 cals minimum?

And another question, are you supposed to eat your exercise cals if you have eaten your 1200 cals for day?

So confused and frustrated!

Nicola0000 · December 2011

I know how frustrating it can be!!!

If Im working on 1200 cals, I eat back my exercise cals so my net is 1200. i find for me, this keeps my weight loss going. When I didnt eat my exercise cals, then I found I lost no weight, as my metabolism had probably slowed. Im now in maintance mode, so I eat back my exercise cals if I want to, or dont if its too much.

if you find 1200 hard, which results in a massive blow out, then set your weight loss goals to a smaller amount eg 1400 cals. It will take slightly longer for the weight to drop off, but if it means you will stick with it, then its all worth it.

Feel free to add me if you ever need to rant!!

Nicola0000 · December 2011

I know how frustrating it can be!!!

If Im working on 1200 cals, I eat back my exercise cals so my net is 1200. i find for me, this keeps my weight loss going. When I didnt eat my exercise cals, then I found I lost no weight, as my metabolism had probably slowed. Im now in maintance mode, so I eat back my exercise cals if I want to, or dont if its too much.

if you find 1200 hard, which results in a massive blow out, then set your weight loss goals to a smaller amount eg 1400 cals. It will take slightly longer for the weight to drop off, but if it means you will stick with it, then its all worth it.

Feel free to add me if you ever need to rant!!

DoubleDworks · December 2011

I just wrote you a reply under your status on MFP.

In answer to your question I do think it's not doing yourself any favours doing it like that. You have achieved so much already, I would hate to see you putting that weight back on because of some simple mistakes.

I'm a firm believer of listening to your body, and that this isn't about a "diet" per se it's a lifestyle change. I use the words lifestyle change because I think the word diet has been rail-roaded and is now seen as more as a "fad" than diet (as in what you consume each day)

Also, at this time of year, don't stress it's a time to be festive and relax a little bit. Enjoy Christmas and New Year and if you indulge a little bit so be it, but afterwards get back into a well balanced diet and if you want treats, work for it.

DoubleDworks · December 2011

I'm going to add something else sorry.

I think you are looking hot (in a non lesbian way LOL) and possibly you are being hard on yourself? You've lost a huge amount of weight and are inspiration to a lot of people (including myself).

Focus on keeping that weight off and toning up a bit in my most honest opinion.

Good luck.

escadachic · December 2011

Oh thankx ladies and thankx for the nice comment DoubleDworks :happy:

I'm ok with my body clothes on for the most part, except when I have bloated days. It's just working on liking my naked body. As, if I don't like how I look naked, it affects my libido and my partner does not benefit from that. As, why would you want to have sex, which requires being mostly naked, if you do not like your body or bearing it all?...

I know my partner isn't bothered, which is great. But I think I'd put more of an effort in if I liked my naked body.

I acknowledge that I have done well with my weight loss. I just get frustrated trying to lose the last 5kgs. I know if I wasn't on contraception I'd be there already . But unfortunately I need my contraception.

chickielou · December 2011

I hate the word DIET also. its taken me a long time in my life to leave the diets behind and just find a happy medium of weight, exercise and lifestyle and like with anything there are going to be times when Im super good and times when Im not. but I get to enjoy living a bit of a life at the same time

YOu need to ask yourself which is more important...........being a weight you were back when we were younger and had higher metabolisms etc and have to work hard constantly to be there and forever falling off your own personal wagon, an achievement you have set for yourself no one else, or ............

Be happy with the new body you gained by having children and live a little bit of a life and spend that time you spend obsessing over losng weight or beating yourself up about gaining slightly on being happy and enjoying your life and your children. get to have your cake and eat it I reckon. Never deny yourself something but eat less of it and not as often.

seriously I used to be exactly the same Kel and since I have gone AHHHHH F#$#K that I have lost more weight than when I was going super hard and obsessing over it all.............

I do keep a close eye on the scales etc and I know in myself if Ive been good or bad and for how long. But take a break. dont log your foods for a bit and just eat what you feel like eating and when your hungry. Just for a week and see how you go. Just remind yourself, everything in moderation.

Being on MFP isnt about forever logging your food for the rest of your life, but teaching you about what your body needs during the day with cals in and cals out. By rightly me and you shouldnt have to log our food every day as we should know basically by now if we are over or under.

Also one more thing, scales are just a NUMBER...........its being fit and healthy and we really shouldnt get so hung up on a number (yeah yeah like I can talk with that one) but I know I will never be in the 50s and if I did, I highly doubt it would be for long at all as its not maintainable in my life. If i was happy to eat a carrot stick and lettuce leaf a day then yes I could get there, but that doesnt make me happy at al!!!!!! Would it make you happy?

escadachic · December 2011

I think you are looking hot (in a non lesbian way LOL) and possibly you are being hard on yourself? You've lost a huge amount of weight and are inspiration to a lot of people (including myself)

Don't worry, I wouldn't have thought you meant it that way anyway. I tell others I think that too, about them, also in a non-lesbian way.

And yeah, I am most likely too hard on myself.

ALH1981 · December 2011

your post is exactly what i do - i hate this cycle!!! how do you deal with it!

DoubleDworks · December 2011

Being on MFP isnt about forever logging your food for the rest of your life, but teaching you about what your body needs during the day with cals in and cals out. By rightly me and you shouldnt have to log our food every day as we should know basically by now if we are over or under.

Also one more thing, scales are just a NUMBER...........its being fit and healthy and we really shouldnt get so hung up on a number (yeah yeah like I can talk with that one) but I know I will never be in the 50s and if I did, I highly doubt it would be for long at all as its not maintainable in my life. If i was happy to eat a carrot stick and lettuce leaf a day then yes I could get there, but that doesnt make me happy at al!!!!!! Would it make you happy?

All awesome advise, these paragraphs in particular I love.

escadachic · December 2011

To be honest. I have all those other areas sorted. I'm happy with my life, my children, my friends and my partner.

I'm just not happy enough with my body yet. It's been friggen months that I've not been able to get past the plateau. Reality is, it can be done. I can have that figure back, that I had in those bikini pic's. It's just that it is WAY harder. Because I'm on contraception, which always messes with things and I had an under active thyroid. So it makes this battle, so much of a battle. I totally believe it's achievable. It's just about being more consistent. It's just this bloody weather! It's hard to get the regular exercise while my toddler is awake, if I can't get out and about and go walking at least.

For me, I need to keep up with the consistency. As when I relax, I really relax and losing ANY weight is a battle for me anyway. So it just makes it an even harder road if I slack off.

No offense, but how many people who give me this advice about relaxing, have an under active thyroid to contend with? As that makes weight loss a *****!

Tauris75 · December 2011

L:ike others have said you need to find a balance - what you are doing is screwing with your body and eating less than 1200 cals a day is putting your body into starvation mode and it will start to hold onto food rather than process it...but I think you know this already. losing weight and maintaining it is a lifestyle thing, if you go back to what you used to do you will gain the weight back and more. I look at what you eat most days and I worry for you that you are spending far too many cals on sweet stuff and not enough on food that will keep you going and help curb the desire to over eat..

chickielou · December 2011

for someone with an under active thyroid your doing extremely well. I generally eat under my calories and exercise more consistently and higher intensity than you but I am bigger.............but I dont have any thyroid problems.............I say stop being so unhappy with what youve got cos well theres much much much worse places to be............

escadachic · December 2011

I'm not unhappy, so to speak with my body. I'm just a perfectionist and would like to feel good about it naked.

I'm totally happy with the way I look clothes on though.

Hmm, sweet stuff, yeah though, the times you would be seeing more of that is around the time I have PMS and then AF. I do have a sweet tooth though. But really, my sweet snack aren't that bad. It's not like I'm eating moro bars or anything. I generally get away with it, as I eat low cals things the rest of the time. As If I don't give myself some sweet treats, I'll just go mad! That is how I help maintain my mostly healthy eating, by giving myself treats. Cause at the end of the day, I do LOVE food.

I just need to keep reminding myself, it's never going to be as easy to get that trim figure back for 2 reasons, the thyroid issue and being on contraception. Plus, back then I was single and I always seem to be slimmer when I'm single and not on contraception as well. Bloody relationships! They are bad for my body shape! But at the end of the day, I'd rather be where I'm at currently and with a loving partner and family, then single and teeny.

escadachic · December 2011

Grr! Frustrating! So I've made sure I've been sticking to my calorie goal and even gone over a little and stopped weighing myself and now that I have, I've gained 1 kg!

Hopefully it doesn't take too long to undo me screwing up my body's ability to burn fat and get my metabolism on my side. That's just annoying having a gain!

Am I screwing things up for myself here?...

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