A vent...just warning ya

Lainn
Lainn Posts: 281 Member
edited October 6 in Motivation and Support
Just having a complete downer of a day. Feeling very unmotivated and ready to throw in the towel...with everything...not just with dieting.

My hubby lost his job in October when the company moved to LA. We literally have like no money. He has been busting his butt trying to find a job and NOTHING. So frustrating and stressful. I am a SAHM and homeschool. I have 3 kiddos and have not had one day this month (Or last month come to think of it) without them. I love my kids...but mommy needs a bit of a break. We have family drama coming out of the butt and I am so sick of it. I would really at this point like to just move out of state. Christmas is fast approaching and with that I feel pulled in every direction. Also with the holidays comes the spending of money...and oh yeah...WE DON'T HAVE ANY. And to top it off hubby is very sick in bed today and I need to get the house ready for our middle child's birthday party tomorrow. Everything just seems so wrong.

Sorry for being such a downer...but just needed a place to vent.

EDIT: Just cause I have to keep re-typing it lol. My hubby and I decided 2 years ago to no longer exchange gifts for Christmas. We want our children to grow up realizing that Christmas is a time for us to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior. We celebrate Christmas...we just do not do gift giving. Instead we spend the time up to Christmas teaching our children why this holiday is so important to us. We decorate and do many other Christmas activities. Christmas day is spent with my family and there is much joy all around. My main issue with this month is all the birthdays and trying to pull myself together enough to put the true Christmas Spirit into my family.

Replies

  • groomchick
    groomchick Posts: 610 Member
    Good to get it off your chest...Having a day myself. Go lock yourself in the bathroom with a bubblebath and headphones! Might help the perspective!:flowerforyou:
  • netchik
    netchik Posts: 587 Member
    Oh you poor Love. 2012 is just around the corner, and as long as you believe that 2012 is YOUR year, it will be. You're going to own that sucker :)

    Home-made christmases are always the best. With family presents, try a secret santa approach - everyone gets 1 present with a price limit on it. That is always great because you need to think about a $10 present a lot harder!!! Encourage the kids to make their cards and decorations, and get them to bake so you don't need to buy lots of Christmas treats.

    Best of luck for you and your husband. I hope things turn around soon.
  • Lainn
    Lainn Posts: 281 Member
    Oh you poor Love. 2012 is just around the corner, and as long as you believe that 2012 is YOUR year, it will be. You're going to own that sucker :)

    Home-made christmases are always the best. With family presents, try a secret santa approach - everyone gets 1 present with a price limit on it. That is always great because you need to think about a $10 present a lot harder!!! Encourage the kids to make their cards and decorations, and get them to bake so you don't need to buy lots of Christmas treats.

    Best of luck for you and your husband. I hope things turn around soon.

    Thank you :smile:

    My husband and I decided 2 years ago to no longer do the exchanging of gifts for our immediate family. Our kiddos where getting to obsessed with Christmas is about presents. We want to teach them that Christmas is the time we set aside to celebrate our Savior's birth. So that portion is luckily stress free. But we have several birthdays this month and our other two kiddos in February :ohwell:

    I am praying 2012 brings us a better year! Thanks for the encouragement :smile:
  • mrsdixon814
    mrsdixon814 Posts: 15 Member
    I understand what you are going through. My husband and I lost our jobs in 2010. I found a job this past summer and I'm making so much less money than I used to. We were forced to move out of state in with my in-laws because even receiving unemployment, we couldn't afford to keep our place. My stepchildren live with their mother back home and we only see them on weekends and beign so far sucks big time! My husband has been trying desperately to find any job at all so that we can pick our lives back up but he hasn't found anything! There is nothign out there. So I get where you're coming from. Sometimes, with the pressure of a marriage, kids, a home to take care of and just life in general to try and afford, you can feel as though you're drowning. I've had, in my weakest moments, wished I could wake up, pack up some things and walk away but I never do. You knwo why? Because 1. It wont' change anything and makes things worse. 2. Family is what you have. You have a husband and kids you love and they are what's going to help you get through this dark dark time. It's not easy and it's hard to keep positive with all that you're faced with. But you have to keep positive, otherwise, you'll go insane. It's ok to feel negative. It's normal and you're human. But after you feel gloomy, think of all you do have, pick yourself up and let the good thoughts flow. I hope that this season and the new year are better for you. We gotta keep believing and keep trying.
  • kiminita
    kiminita Posts: 150 Member
    If it helps any, you are not alone. Seriously. The entire country is suffering! Just know that you are not completely alone in these struggles, and fight back! The human spirit (and body!!) is unbelievably resilient.
  • sehuff08
    sehuff08 Posts: 5
    I hear you on the needing to get out of the house. I'm new to the SAHM thing and I haven't had a moment to myself all week. I took the opportunity to go pick up a package from the post office today just to have some 'me' time. I had a hard day yesterday and it's been bleeding into today no matter how hard I try not to let it. Definitely hitting a wall with lack of motivation and such.

    I really didn't mean for my comment to be such a downer! I hope you get some 'you' time and just remember 'this, too, shall pass" :)
    ~Sarah
  • Lainn
    Lainn Posts: 281 Member
    I understand what you are going through. My husband and I lost our jobs in 2010. I found a job this past summer and I'm making so much less money than I used to. We were forced to move out of state in with my in-laws because even receiving unemployment, we couldn't afford to keep our place. My stepchildren live with their mother back home and we only see them on weekends and beign so far sucks big time! My husband has been trying desperately to find any job at all so that we can pick our lives back up but he hasn't found anything! There is nothign out there. So I get where you're coming from. Sometimes, with the pressure of a marriage, kids, a home to take care of and just life in general to try and afford, you can feel as though you're drowning. I've had, in my weakest moments, wished I could wake up, pack up some things and walk away but I never do. You knwo why? Because 1. It wont' change anything and makes things worse. 2. Family is what you have. You have a husband and kids you love and they are what's going to help you get through this dark dark time. It's not easy and it's hard to keep positive with all that you're faced with. But you have to keep positive, otherwise, you'll go insane. It's ok to feel negative. It's normal and you're human. But after you feel gloomy, think of all you do have, pick yourself up and let the good thoughts flow. I hope that this season and the new year are better for you. We gotta keep believing and keep trying.

    Thank you! It is nice to hear from someone who has been there. I get people saying all the time "I am sure if he tried harder he would have a job now." Ummmm NO! He has been pounding the pavement applying for places he is way overqualified for and there is just nothing!

    I feel like today I want to run away...but I know what you are saying. And this too shall pass.
  • Lainn
    Lainn Posts: 281 Member
    I hear you on the needing to get out of the house. I'm new to the SAHM thing and I haven't had a moment to myself all week. I took the opportunity to go pick up a package from the post office today just to have some 'me' time. I had a hard day yesterday and it's been bleeding into today no matter how hard I try not to let it. Definitely hitting a wall with lack of motivation and such.

    I really didn't mean for my comment to be such a downer! I hope you get some 'you' time and just remember 'this, too, shall pass" :)
    ~Sarah
    We share the same name :happy:

    Your post is not a downer. It is nice to hear that I am not alone. That there are people who understand. I wish I could make a trek to the post office today lol, but hubby has the stomach flu. And I really do need to clean the house for tomorrow. (so what am I doing on here???) But tomorrow is a new day and I am praying the Lord will provide.
  • crb1988
    crb1988 Posts: 134 Member
    Thanks for feeling comfortable enough with us to share your feelings. Hopefully things will get better soon.

    If you lived close to me I would come babysit so you could have some "me" time =)
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,702 Member
    Some really great advice. Remember to cling to each other, yet have some me time. Even just the bath, undisturbed, will go a long way to help with attitude. Prayers and hugs!
  • FrancesGallagher
    FrancesGallagher Posts: 88 Member
    You needed to get your frustration out and now maybe you can start some creative thinking about what is ahead and what action to take. I hope your husband can collect unemployment benefits, at least that would buy the groceries. Have you considered checking with the Salvation Army or your church to see what is available to get you and the family through this rough spot. There are organizations out there that can help. I am not sure how many families have been in your situation, but the economy is not good at the moment. Think simple for Christmas, my Mom and Dad saw some of the most dire proverty and I recall Mom saying "Santa is having a hard time getting around to every home so we must be careful with what we want this Christmas". If the kids are older they can understand that their Dad is out of work. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, our savior, it is not about all the other "stuff" that retailers are pushing. The children can be pretty creative with decorating and being together as a family is still the most important part of Christmas. God bless each of you and give you a peace at this stressful time.
  • fallenangelloves
    fallenangelloves Posts: 601 Member
    You aren't alone! And as much as I pray I get thru this, I pray you will too! Hang in there!
  • Lainn
    Lainn Posts: 281 Member
    You needed to get your frustration out and now maybe you can start some creative thinking about what is ahead and what action to take. I hope your husband can collect unemployment benefits, at least that would buy the groceries. Have you considered checking with the Salvation Army or your church to see what is available to get you and the family through this rough spot. There are organizations out there that can help. I am not sure how many families have been in your situation, but the economy is not good at the moment. Think simple for Christmas, my Mom and Dad saw some of the most dire proverty and I recall Mom saying "Santa is having a hard time getting around to every home so we must be careful with what we want this Christmas". If the kids are older they can understand that their Dad is out of work. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, our savior, it is not about all the other "stuff" that retailers are pushing. The children can be pretty creative with decorating and being together as a family is still the most important part of Christmas. God bless each of you and give you a peace at this stressful time.
    He is getting unemployment. Or at least he applied for it forever ago. They still have yet to cut us a check. That is NM government for you. My hubby and I decided 2 years ago to not do the exchanging of gifts for our immediate family. We want our children's focus to be on Christ's birth and what it mean that He came and died for our sins. Luckily we had a box of decorations already. It is just we have lots of birthdays this month. Including our middle child turning 5. We are keeping her birthday really low key...but it is still a stretch. And we have lots of bills waiting for us to pay them...
  • Artemis_Acorn
    Artemis_Acorn Posts: 836 Member
    Warning - unsolicited advice ahead. Proceed at your own risk.

    First of all, a cyber hug...<<<<<<<<<<HUG>>>>>>>>>> because you clearly need one! And congratulations on 24 pounds down - with the stress of your situation that is quite an accomplishment.

    I have been pretty much exactly where you are at now - SAHM with 3 kids I was homeschooling, hubby unemployed for several months and unable to get work, no money and the promise of a very slim Christmas, in addition, we came within a couple of days of foreclosure that December, so any money we scraped together was put into the 'save our house' fund.

    I got creative with whatever resources we had on hand. We gave loaves of homemade bread as gifts to the neighbors. We handed out handmade Christmas cards. We cut out paper decorations. We made caramel popcorn by caramelizing sugar and pouring it over stovetop popped popcorn. We dug deep into the pantry and planned a Christmas feast out of nothing. As it turned out, we also had some angels from Church help with a few gifts for the kids at the last minute, and a turkey and trimmings showed up in a box on the doorstep. Our gifts to each other were mostly the kind you can't put in a box - a surprise bedmaking, a song sung together, a loving note, a big hug. One of the gifts from my son was a box full if tiny slips of paper on which he had written the things he loved and appreciated about me. I have treasured that gift for many years.

    It is hard to be the mom in a situation like this, because everyone will follow your lead. If you can find it in yourself to dig deep and pull some Christmas cheer and joy out of the depths of your own struggle, you can turn it into the kind of magical Christmas season that isn't for sale at the mall. My heart goes out to you - it is a big burden to shoulder. We all talk about how much we hate how commercialized Christmas has become, but so many of us still give into the temptation to make it all about STUFF. If you are religious, there are certainly other depths to explore about what it is really all about, but even if you are not, if you make it about family, love and giving of yourself, there will be a simple beauty that will pervade your home and bring comfort to your family during this trial.

    I sincerely hope that this funk you're in will fade. Despair and discouragement feed on themselves and breed negativity, but you don't have to succumb to them. Let yourself grieve for all the hopes and dreams that are not happening right now, but give yourself a deadline for the end of the pity party. (we all have them) Decide what you CAN do, and with all the determination you can muster, attack it head on. Your family will catch the spirit of it and before you know it the dark cloud you feel will lift. My best wishes to you and your family, and happy birthday to your middle child.
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
    You aren't alone! And as much as I pray I get thru this, I pray you will too! Hang in there!

    There are many of us in this boat, trying to figure out how to pay the mortgage and finish my shopping as well. It makes me sad that my DH and I may not be able to exchange this year. Believe me, we've had many years where we didn't and I know the meaning of Christmas and treasure it and yet and I so close to balling my eyes out all the same.
  • RhondaRowsell
    RhondaRowsell Posts: 33 Member
    I found a really great site that helps me with similar issues.
    http://theprudenthomemaker.com/default.aspx
  • kikkipoo
    kikkipoo Posts: 292 Member
    All I can offer is a heartfelt hug and and understanding shoulder. My birthday and my mothers is in november...sisters, hubbies and three in-laws in December, Christmas, new years, then my two kids birthdays in January....always always feel like I'm just trying to cath a breath and a break. For what its worth I have a bottle of vodka and tonic here and will gladly share! :) head up! You're strong, have an amazing faith, and I have to believe that you know everything happens for a reason an this too shall pass. My own hubby has been unemployed since March doing the sahd duties, and just yesterday he had a very promising job interview. We just have to remain strong and stick together.
  • Edithrenee
    Edithrenee Posts: 546 Member
    Thanks for feeling comfortable enough with us to share your feelings. Hopefully things will get better soon.

    If you lived close to me I would come babysit so you could have some "me" time =)
    Awh that was so nice to say!

    oh but really I will be praying things will get better for you.. But i think all the post you got back were very nice!!! I hope it made you feel better to vent some and to get such great comments back! Ill be thinking of your family....
  • mrsdixon814
    mrsdixon814 Posts: 15 Member
    I can't believe people would say that! But, there are lots of folks out there who don't understand the struggles others have. My husband has been busting his hump for months applying to everything he can. Unfortunately, it just hasn't worked out yet. I just cling to the hope that we've suffered a bunch, why not cut us a break? LOL, gotta keep positive! It can't always suck!
  • Lainn
    Lainn Posts: 281 Member
    I know right??? It is like "Ok God I get the lesson...can I have a wee bit of a break now?" LOL. And yeah people can be stupid and insensitive. :ohwell: Oh well.

    However, yesterday late afternoon he got a call back for a job at the airport!!! :bigsmile: It isn't a great paying job and he is overqualified for it...but hey ITS A JOB!!! Woot! I am excited about him finally having work. He is super excited too. He plans to keep pounding the pavement while working this job (if he gets it *crosses fingers*). It will be so wonderful to finally have some steady income!
  • silkysly
    silkysly Posts: 701 Member
    Now you know what bad taste like, you will strive for good…, & appreciate it. Hang in there baby girl, I did. I’m in a great place in life after years of hardship. Best of luck, we care...
  • annemama
    annemama Posts: 245 Member
    Sounds like answered prayer! :wink:
  • Lainn
    Lainn Posts: 281 Member
    Sounds like answered prayer! :wink:
    Indeed!
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
    Sounds like answered prayer! :wink:

    Amen!
  • crudd12
    crudd12 Posts: 63
    Hugs to you and your family! i just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you and your husband! Hang in there! God will come through!
  • nikkijay25
    nikkijay25 Posts: 42 Member
    I notice you said you are teaching your children the true meaning of Christmas which make me believe you believe in our Lord Jesus Christ. Yes you are having a rough time but always remember God doesn't put anything on use that we can't handle. I know there are days you just want to cry but God doesn't respond to tears.........he responds to Faith. You have to see yourself out of the storm and you will be out of it. Your husband needs a job????? Say it to you see it!!!!!!Keep your Faith and everything will work itself out. Good luck to you and your family and may God continue to bless you! :-)
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    Wow! I can feel your pain. I am a mom to 5 kids. I used to home school too. I know come Nov and Dec I was at my wits end. I don't know why. It seemed like every Nov I went and looked at schools. By the end of Dec I was back into the swing of it and feeling myself. Maybe because the days start getting longer instead of shorter.

    Money troubles and your husband being out of work, I am sure is not helping this situation. I don't understand why he doesn't stay with the kids so you can get out for a little bit. I would think with him being out of work that would be easier instead of harder. Maybe you should do some inquiring. Make sure he is not suffering from depression himself. That could be what is causing him to be sick and it could be hindering his ability to find a job. Men react differently to these scenarios than women do. Maybe you two need a date night. Even if it is just to go for a walk without the kids. Do you have family near by the could babysit for a little while?

    Best of wishes to you.
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
    Hugs for you. You are right you need a break from the children to give you some perspective. I'm so glad to hear your husband got something, that must feel good.

    Love and hugs to everyone doing it tough.

    GG
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