Now you want me after I loose weight? Really?

Ksnoddy87
Ksnoddy87 Posts: 121
edited October 6 in Chit-Chat
So I want you guys' input on this: so it's this guy that I like at my job, we've always been really cool but nothing serious. He's never paid attention to me before in a "hey I'm interested" type of way until now. He complimented me on my weight loss today and how good I looked and he wanted to take me out. (blank stare) I'm a little offended and flattered at the same time. Offended because dude, how shallow are you? You wait until I loose weight to approach me? Really? I understand that men are super visual but dang, I just don't feel comfortable responding to his advance because I honestly feel like I was the same person a few months ago. I dont know...am I being too extra with this or do you guys understand how I feel?

Replies

  • Starkle09
    Starkle09 Posts: 238 Member
    Maybe is not just the weight loss that he's responding to...maybe he sees a new kind of confidence that u carry that he finds attractive. I don't think I would be offended by it tho. Give it a shot...worst case u get a free meal...lol
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    I would take it as a compliment. Obviously you are looking hot and he's noticing. I don't know about you, but there was nothing hot about me 35 lbs ago. Now there is and I am flattered when men look at me or flirt with me. I don't take it personally that they didn't do that before because I didn't dress as well, wear makeup as much or have the confidence I have now. So a lot of it is me and how I present myself now compared to before.
  • Cathleenr
    Cathleenr Posts: 332
    i agree with starkle. honestly, you can over-analyze people's motivations for everything and some of the time you'll be right and some of the time you'll be wrong, but in the end, you can determine the quality of time you spend with this person. enjoy them...they may be in your life now because of something THEY need from YOU...only they don't know it yet :)
  • theprettyone1010
    theprettyone1010 Posts: 408 Member
    I wouldn't be offended by it. Even when I was overweight, I didn't want to date overweight people because it shows that they don't care about their health/physical appearance. It's not the extra weight that's unattractive, it's the lack of self-esteem and personal pride that goes with it. He's probably attracted to the better person you've become which is an awesome, awesome thing. Take a chance!

    <3
  • Ksnoddy87
    Ksnoddy87 Posts: 121
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  • Ksnoddy87
    Ksnoddy87 Posts: 121
    I wouldn't be offended by it. Even when I was overweight, I didn't want to date overweight people because it shows that they don't care about their health/physical appearance. It's not the extra weight that's unattractive, it's the lack of self-esteem and personal pride that goes with it. He's probably attracted to the better person you've become which is an awesome, awesome thing. Take a chance!

    <3

    That's so true I didn't look at it like that!
  • mscoco10
    mscoco10 Posts: 527 Member
    Okay, so guess i take things way to personally too. I don't want to go out with anyone who I felt only likes me for my looks. Even at my heaviest I still felt attractive and outgoing. I'm a strong believer in you have to love yourself before anyone else can. I say talk to him and really see where his mind is. It true that you could've changed once losing the weight but we all know there are a lot of men wouldn't give the old you a second look.
  • Ksnoddy87
    Ksnoddy87 Posts: 121
    Okay, so guess i take things way to personally too. I don't want to go out with anyone who I felt only likes me for my looks. Even at my heaviest I still felt attractive and outgoing. I'm a strong believer in you have to love yourself before anyone else can. I say talk to him and really see where his mind is. It true that you could've changed once losing the weight but we all know there are a lot of men wouldn't give the old you a second look.

    Exactly! I didn't dress terrible, I carried myself well and I wasn't just morbidly obese...a little think but not extremely big...I've only lost a little 20 lbs and that's all it took for him to notice me? Well that's just how I saw it. I'm going to see what he's talking about though.
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