You know what's hard...

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mrsfortune
mrsfortune Posts: 82 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Having everyone around you saying f**k dieting I'm gonna be happy or eating all kinds of high calorie ridden items and convincing you that one bite "won't hurt" your diet....I have continuoslly explained to these people in my life that this a necessary LIFESTYLE CHANGE for me but they are just content with me the way that I am....I have few of these people in my life but their voices seem to be louder than my supporters at times.
Also having a husband support me but not enough to stop bringing high calorie content into the house and just telling me how my willpower should be strong enough to keep me from wanting them....
.......that's really hard

Replies

  • tambamis
    tambamis Posts: 67 Member
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    You are in a tough spot, but hang in there. There are a list of foods that I CANNOT have in my house because I lose my mind and all self control. One time in a fit of rage my husband brought the horrifying bag of chips in the house, opened them and started chomping away - I gave him a severe look of disgust and dumped the whole bag in the garbage!
    Probably not the best way to handle the situation, but I explained if its in the house I HAVE to eat it and begged him to at least attempt to hide it from me.
    You are changing not only your lifestyle but those around you will be impacted as well - stay the course, you'll be so proud of yourself!
    MFP is the right place to be!
  • zbmb30
    zbmb30 Posts: 178 Member
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    My dad tells me the samething about the willpower. Try to not let it discourage you, even though I know and understand it is very hard. If anything, just let it motivate you to show them how awesome you are and prove to them that you can do it! This morning my mom had left a bunch of cookies that she made in baggies on the counter. I wanted one so bad even though it was so early in the morning. I just grabbed those cookies, tossed them in the pantry, and shut the door. Out of sight, out of mind. Then I went to the fridge and made me some egg whites :)
  • candicemaechling
    candicemaechling Posts: 152 Member
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    You are in a tough spot, but hang in there. There are a list of foods that I CANNOT have in my house because I lose my mind and all self control. One time in a fit of rage my husband brought the horrifying bag of chips in the house, opened them and started chomping away - I gave him a severe look of disgust and dumped the whole bag in the garbage!
    Probably not the best way to handle the situation, but I explained if its in the house I HAVE to eat it and begged him to at least attempt to hide it from me.
    You are changing not only your lifestyle but those around you will be impacted as well - stay the course, you'll be so proud of yourself!
    MFP is the right place to be!
    I'm a chip monster too I just sent my hubby with a bag he forgot to take to a function yesturday I told him he wasn't leaving to work without them :p
  • BobbyClerici
    BobbyClerici Posts: 813 Member
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    Having everyone around you saying f**k dieting I'm gonna be happy or eating all kinds of high calorie ridden items and convincing you that one bite "won't hurt" your diet....I have continuoslly explained to these people in my life that this a necessary LIFESTYLE CHANGE for me but they are just content with me the way that I am....I have few of these people in my life but their voices seem to be louder than my supporters at times.
    Also having a husband support me but not enough to stop bringing high calorie content into the house and just telling me how my willpower should be strong enough to keep me from wanting them....
    .......that's really hard
    You program sounds like one with too much self-denial to be successful long term.
    I also have issues with food - I LOVE EATING! And I have incorporated a free day in addition to lots of activity that allow me to lose weight, body fat and waist inches while eating around 3000 calories every day.

    And that includes a treat here and there. Lighten up - nobody likes a diet Nazi.
  • melinda6569
    melinda6569 Posts: 124
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    I am right there with you. Although my husband is trying to change his lifestyle with me, And we do allof our shopping together. Maybe if you bring your husband into it as well it will be easier to block out all of those other *kitten* holes..One bite does hurt. I am not saying don't have cheat days but save those bites for those cheat days. The other people are just trying to keep you on the easy path of life you should tell them they will live alot longer with out that bite,

    Feel free to add me as a friend. the more friends you have on here the better it is. Great support on MFP..
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
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    I don't consider myself to be on a diet. I just changed my lifestyle. I try to make healthy lean choices whenever possible, but eat pretty much whatever I want. I just hold myself accountable for staying within acceptable portion sizes and eating at or below my calorie intake goal.
  • michcruz
    michcruz Posts: 152 Member
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    Having will power is very hard, but at the end of the day, it is yourself that you can count on in making the right changes. My bf will have the "bad stuff" in the house and in front of me and it is hard, but if you really want it bad enough...you have to try and stick to it.

    I find that having a cheat day really helps and sometimes, I also give myself the opportunity to have something bad every so often outside of the cheat day. This is so that I don't go binging later on down the line.

    Just try to hang in there...it'll get easier over time.
  • mrsfortune
    mrsfortune Posts: 82 Member
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    Wow it's great to come back to feedback. My husband fortunately for him has the best willpower in the world one day he woke up and said he needed to loose weight 6 months later he's down 50 pounds and goes to the gym faithfully every day. So of course he doesn't understad why it's so hard for me.
    I wouldn't quite say I'm the diet police because I know this is something I have to also make livable for me so I weigh in on Sunday and that is also my cheat day. I pretty much had already cut out things like fried food, soda, and white bread so they are not missed so much but the main thing I'm doing is trying to learn the items that I can susbtitute to get more for my bang without killing my calorie intake early.
    It's just hard when you have people and their negative views around...that is all.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,682 Member
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    Look long term here. Once you reach goal will you still avoid these foods? If the answer is no, then you should incorporate them in your diet now so that you can learn to control the portions and moderate them.
    I don't have clients cut foods they like out of their diets. IMO, people who reach goal through just "clean eating" yet still crave or want to eat favorite foods, gain the weight back. And how happy can one be if they can't have foods they really enjoy?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • bugnbeansmom
    bugnbeansmom Posts: 292 Member
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    The hardest thing for me anyway, is understanding that I can't control what others do, say, or eat! I can only control me! I have started thinking of the items that kill me (chips, cheese, pizza) as treats (I call them gateway drugs) and allow myself a little bit. I also will once a month, just eat! Sometimes, I need to just cleanse my brain of the temptations. I find that I crave better things over time and if I get a solid workout in when I am going into a tough situation (social gathering, dinner out) my body wants better food and my brain doesn't want to waste the efforts.

    I know it is hard but you can only control your choices and how you react. As much as we would like to, we can not control others. Unless you have the Jedi Mind Trick in which case you and I need to talk! LOL
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    Just ignore the other people. It's your choice to be healthy.
  • surgesilk
    surgesilk Posts: 92
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    They are your limitations not anyone else's. It's not fair nor reasonable to expect others in your household to forego items they want to eat.
  • StevLL
    StevLL Posts: 921 Member
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    Look long term here. Once you reach goal will you still avoid these foods? If the answer is no, then you should incorporate them in your diet now so that you can learn to control the portions and moderate them.
    I don't have clients cut foods they like out of their diets. IMO, people who reach goal through just "clean eating" yet still crave or want to eat favorite foods, gain the weight back. And how happy can one be if they can't have foods they really enjoy?

    ^^^^This^^^
    We have not eliminated anything completely. Moderation, minimal proccessed foods and more whole, fresh produce and protein allow us to find balance, health and long term success.
    We were actually talking about this yesterday. I want to create a eating lifestyle that will be my new norm, so it lasts. I know I've been looking at what motivates my overeating and reflecting on that has helped me redirect my behaviors and the outcomes.
  • fromnebraska
    fromnebraska Posts: 153 Member
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    Food shouldn't have that much control over you. If having one bite is going to send you into a major binge, then you might need to speak to some sort of professional. I meet with a dietitian and she's done wonders for me. She does more than just analyze my food--she calls it "food therapy." lol But she talks to through a lot of my thought processes regarding food and she's really helped me gain control over my food cravings.
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
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    I had the same problem at home with my ex-husband. He was genuinely emotionally supportive of my efforts, but because of his own food addictions, always wanted junk around. Chips I can avoid. Mine is more like crackers and sweets. The office is a little more tricky for me. People are always bringing goodies up here. Especially this week!!!!! I have worked out a system though. We have a girl who doesnt have to worry about losing weight, and is always eating everything she wants. We also have a few men who have not decided to start their journey yet too. I have taken them all treats and told them that I have to get rid of them, I cant eat them and if they are in my desk, they will get eaten.
  • amymbeasley
    amymbeasley Posts: 3
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    It is so irritating for people to bring food around when they know you can't have it..especially if is family and someone you love. my birthday was the 17th and im a teacher so we got out of school on the 16th. i had specifically told my husband no cake or whatever because i knew id eat too much..so what happens??? my FATHER IN LAW sends a cake to my work. he KNEW i didn't want it but chose to do it anyways..and then on my actual birthday, he brought cupcakes to my house. i don't mind if other people are going to eat it, but DON'T bring it around me FOR me when you know ive made a commitment to losing weight...
  • taramaureen
    taramaureen Posts: 569 Member
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    Sometimes you just have to say "no" and not argue. Just say "no thanks". Give no explaination, then they don't have anything to argue with.

    And I may be in the minority here but asking your husband to change his lifestyle just because you are changing yours is unfair. His emotional support should be enough. He doesn't need to "diet" with you to show he supports you.
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
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    No, he doesnt NEED to. But I know for myself, it made me angry and somewhat resentful, and like if he doesnt care, why should I? My priorities are in a much better place now. But, if I knew my SO was on a diet and it was a struggle for them when certain foods are in the house, I would make it a point to indulge in those when I am away from the house so that they dont have to be constantly reminded of everything that they love that they feel like they cant have. (I say feel only because I mentioned on another thread that I cant have sweets at all and got absolutely berated and degraded for my feeling that due to addiction I cannot have certain things.)
  • mrsfortune
    mrsfortune Posts: 82 Member
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    Thank you all for your feedback though some I don't quite agree with, it however is appreciated because not all opinions have to be the same. I actually had to go back and read my inital post because I was trying to figure out where some of the responses came from.

    Anyway, every day on the plan is a new experience and so far I have been doing pretty good and I continue to appreciate the feedback and support I recieve.

    Thanks again for the feedback.
  • taramaureen
    taramaureen Posts: 569 Member
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    No, he doesnt NEED to. But I know for myself, it made me angry and somewhat resentful, and like if he doesnt care, why should I? My priorities are in a much better place now. But, if I knew my SO was on a diet and it was a struggle for them when certain foods are in the house, I would make it a point to indulge in those when I am away from the house so that they dont have to be constantly reminded of everything that they love that they feel like they cant have. (I say feel only because I mentioned on another thread that I cant have sweets at all and got absolutely berated and degraded for my feeling that due to addiction I cannot have certain things.)

    I don't think this kind of attitude sets you up for long term success. You're going to be around things you "can't" have all the time. I have Celiac Disease. This means I cannot have anything containing wheat, barely, rye or anything that has touched products made with those ingrediants. Meaning no cake, bread, cookies, crackers, pasta or loads of things. Yesterday and the day before I was attending a family funeral. It was a two day event filled with food. Most of which I couldn't eat! Temptation is always going to be out there. To me, it's unfair to expect anyone to be responsible for YOU. YOU are responsible for YOURSELF.

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