Need Advice

AandJsMommy
AandJsMommy Posts: 314
edited October 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
Okay so this is general diet and weight loss help related. My son Jacob is all in day Pre-K and at first he did really good, considering he had never been to day care or anything like that. For the past 2 months he has been getting notes on this calendar that they have in a folder in his bookbag (if they are good they get a sticker and if not a note). He has been running in class, yelling, throwing things, hitting, kicking, and pushing other little boys. I tell him every day that he needs to keep his hands, feet, teeth and every other body part to himself. I am getting fed up with this. Well, today I get a call from the Vice Principal and he told me that Jacob got sent to the office for hitting and kicking and he sit him down and had a long talk with him, but 2 hours later he was sent back to the office for hitting and kicking and he asked me to come and get him. I don't understand this sudden change of behavior and I have sit him down and talked to him till I am blue in the face about behaving in school. I am open to some ideas to help me get through to him about his behavior. I need some advice big time!!

Replies

  • CRSE1214
    CRSE1214 Posts: 196 Member
    Maybe it's time that he loses a favorite toy or TV time (or something else he enjoys) until his behavior in school improves? Let him know that his consequences in school have repercussions...Good Luck!
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
    Could he be burnt out/really tired? It's a very hectic time of year for most of us. Change his bedtime and let him know it's not a punishment but that you think he's misbehaving in school because he's overtired. And that he can go back to his other bedtime once he's gone a whole week at school with no notes. I know it can be hard to get kids in bed even earlier than normal, but my guess is that it would pay off.
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
    I can relate to this. One of my twin daughters went through a stage like this in pre-k and into Kindergarten. She used to beat up one boy, in particular, in pre-k and then she got banned from the library in Kindergarten for the remainder of her elementary years.

    We told her that she would be kicked out of school for good and she would never see her friends again. We also told her that if she continued to act this way, no one would want to be her friend anymore. This worked, but I also think that she just grew out of it.

    I agree with another poster who said to take away something. One of my girls loves arts and crafts and the other one loves her teddy bear. They get in trouble and those are the things that go away.

    Good luck.
  • AandJsMommy
    AandJsMommy Posts: 314
    I can relate to this. One of my twin daughters went through a stage like this in pre-k and into Kindergarten. She used to beat up one boy, in particular, in pre-k and then she got banned from the library in Kindergarten for the remainder of her elementary years.

    We told her that she would be kicked out of school for good and she would never see her friends again. We also told her that if she continued to act this way, no one would want to be her friend anymore. This worked, but I also think that she just grew out of it.

    I agree with another poster who said to take away something. One of my girls loves arts and crafts and the other one loves her teddy bear. They get in trouble and those are the things that go away.

    Good luck.


    Sounds like Jacob, he hits the same 3 boys every time he hits someone. We have sit him down and explained to him that if he continues to be mean to his classmates that no one will want to be his friend. We have taken things he cares about like T.V. (cartoons) away and his favorite toys all to no avail. I am to the point I don't know what to do.
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    I do think losing things once he gets home is a good way to go ...also "mommy" sitting in class can be quite embarrassing...question is does he act like this at home? If so you probably need to get him on a structured plan ...a lot of times even kids with attention disorders do very well on structured daily plan....and proper diet a lot of processed foods play a major part in how kids act/react. ...start with simple things 1hr tv daily and 8pm bedtime..do some school things at home quiet time..learning ..things geared towards improving his attention skills...maybe even visit storytime at a library a few times week.....offer things like cookies and sweets..stickers..matchbox cars as rewards and keep a star chart at home ...for his daily progress at school.....sorry for rambling 15yrs of nanny experience coming out hahah....most important thing dont tell him hes bad..once you do that it gives him a reason/excuse to be bad....also make sure you make a list of the things he will lose if he misbehaves at school/home..that way he knows what hes risking..dont threaten just take away and when he asks where they went casually tell him why the item was removed and move on.... dont invest in negative time....treat him like a big boy and you should get big boy results and reactions
  • lagcrg
    lagcrg Posts: 38 Member
    I agree with making some changes to the home routine as far as bed time and even removing certain toys or TV time. Also, keep in mind what causes him to act that way at home, if at all, maybe he is getting over stimulated and the next action is to hit or kick etc. because he doesn't really know how to handle the feelings that he is feeling. Keep in mind that this is all a new experience for both of you, so don't make changes to fast and don't punish for long periods, just take away TV/toy for that night or day or two. One other suggestion if you are at home in the afternoon, change him to a.m. only, but only if you think it's from over stimulation. Good Luck!
  • AandJsMommy
    AandJsMommy Posts: 314
    I do think losing things once he gets home is a good way to go ...also "mommy" sitting in class can be quite embarrassing...question is does he act like this at home? If so you probably need to get him on a structured plan ...a lot of times even kids with attention disorders do very well on structured daily plan....and proper diet a lot of processed foods play a major part in how kids act/react. ...start with simple things 1hr tv daily and 8pm bedtime..do some school things at home quiet time..learning ..things geared towards improving his attention skills...maybe even visit storytime at a library a few times week.....offer things like cookies and sweets..stickers..matchbox cars as rewards and keep a star chart at home ...for his daily progress at school.....sorry for rambling 15yrs of nanny experience coming out hahah....most important thing dont tell him hes bad..once you do that it gives him a reason/excuse to be bad....also make sure you make a list of the things he will lose if he misbehaves at school/home..that way he knows what hes risking..dont threaten just take away and when he asks where they went casually tell him why the item was removed and move on.... dont invest in negative time....treat him like a big boy and you should get big boy results and reactions

    Thanks, we do have a very structured plan at home: both Jacob and Anna go to bed at 8:00 every night, we do the one hour of T.V. in the afternoon, but only after all homework, etc is done. Since I am on my weight loss journey we eat healthy good for you meals. He is not ADHD but my daughter is, she is doing better in school than he is. We do the sticker chart and if he's good for X amount of days he gets a prize out of the prize box that his daddy and I made as a reward for good beahavior. We never tell him he's bad and we don't dwell on the bad behavior. I went through that as a child and I swore that I would not be negative with my kids no matter what they do.
  • AandJsMommy
    AandJsMommy Posts: 314
    I agree with making some changes to the home routine as far as bed time and even removing certain toys or TV time. Also, keep in mind what causes him to act that way at home, if at all, maybe he is getting over stimulated and the next action is to hit or kick etc. because he doesn't really know how to handle the feelings that he is feeling. Keep in mind that this is all a new experience for both of you, so don't make changes to fast and don't punish for long periods, just take away TV/toy for that night or day or two. One other suggestion if you are at home in the afternoon, change him to a.m. only, but only if you think it's from over stimulation. Good Luck!

    The school that he goes to only has all day pre-k and I can't afford for him to go to a private one. I am a SAHM and his daddy works at walmart. Sometimes things are tough. When we do take toys/t.v. etc. away we only do it for a day or 2.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories