Need advice about SO!
LeanMeanFitnessMachine
Posts: 659 Member
My boyfriend and I have been going out for 3 years and do everything together - we fish, we camp, we hike, we cook. And thats where things get tricky - the cooking and the eating. He doesn't really help me out in my effort to eat clean. His whole mentality about healthy eating is "As long as I eat my veggies I'll be fine. I don't have to worry about my heart and stuff till I'm old." But thats completely backwards! Its better to start eating right when you're young so that you don't have to worry about heart and health problems later on - especially since just about every kind of cardiovascular disease and every kind of cancer runs in his family.
For example, last Saturday he was making scrambled eggs. I asked if he could make mine with Egg Beaters. He just raised his eyebrow and said, "Why? Those don't taste as good as real eggs." I explained how eggs are high in fat and cholesterol and that it would be better for both of us, he just goes, "I'm a man and I eat real food." LIKE COME ON. Bro, its fine if you don't want to eat healthy and risk heart disease, whatever. But don't degrade my choice to eat clean.
Its just so frustrating and I don't know how to handle it. It especially irritates me how when we're at a resturaunt he acts as though my looking for the healthy options is a hastle because I take longer to order. Any tips on how to either convert him or deal with him?
PS. I love him to death but sometimes he's just a pain in the *kitten*
For example, last Saturday he was making scrambled eggs. I asked if he could make mine with Egg Beaters. He just raised his eyebrow and said, "Why? Those don't taste as good as real eggs." I explained how eggs are high in fat and cholesterol and that it would be better for both of us, he just goes, "I'm a man and I eat real food." LIKE COME ON. Bro, its fine if you don't want to eat healthy and risk heart disease, whatever. But don't degrade my choice to eat clean.
Its just so frustrating and I don't know how to handle it. It especially irritates me how when we're at a resturaunt he acts as though my looking for the healthy options is a hastle because I take longer to order. Any tips on how to either convert him or deal with him?
PS. I love him to death but sometimes he's just a pain in the *kitten*
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Replies
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to answer your question... people get annoyed when you talk about fitness,dieting, eating healthy etc constantly.. because it makes them feel like ur putting them down for it and that is exactly what you get in return "ohh the crap ur doing is stupid and pointless" so just dont bug him and let him do what he wants n if he raises an odd eyebrow just work harder to achive ur goals until u hear him say "hey dear, what should i eat so i could cut down on fat n get some muscle, also how much r u paying for ur gym membership?"
lead by example and showing results.. not nagging and b*tching because then u just become a neiuscens
hear this problem alot even have the same problem in my house hold... i go through cycles of cutting and bulking.. so when im cutting i eat clean when im bulking... well i eat ALOT and occasionally i have blueberry muffin as a pre-workout carb up etc... n i get yelled at for bringing a effin muffin in the house!! like cmoon!!
YOU are supposed to be the one controlling ur diet and what u put in your body! not ur SO, not your mother, not your best friend, not your boss at work!!! so quit whining and do what you got to do! good example... i was doing a anabolic diet/keto diet.. low carbing.. at the time i was part time deliveries at a pizza joint... if i was going by what alot ppl are saying here i would have to make a call to work and say... "sorry guys i cant come in to work anymore.. im dieting and you guys sell pizza... so unless u start making healthy salads for me at lunch time i wont be there"
again the time i was low carbing my SO was telling me to cheat n just eat a muffin (i was craving one like crazy for the entire 3-4months) and she would tell me to eat this and that n the diet is stupid n what not.. well i have dedication and self diciplin.. i didnt b*tch whine or complain.. it was my decision to do the diet not hers.. so why would she have to suffer because i made a change??
now she is doing a keto diet herself after seeing my results lmfao.
ps. sorry if i came across rude but just heard ppl (mainly women for some reason) whine about this constantly..0 -
Bit of an intense reply!
My partner eats crap all day (he's a builder, I'm an accountant so he's always buff but I have to work at it haha) and I have given up trying to change him! I do most of the cooking so I try cook only healthy food but we will occasionally eat less healthily when I'm too lazy to cook - Just trying to get these times to be further and further apart at the moment!
What shocked me this week was when Bennett said yesterday that he wanted to detox and eat only healthy food til Xmas - Success! Haha0 -
to answer your question... people get annoyed when you talk about fitness,dieting, eating healthy etc constantly.. because it makes them feel like ur putting them down for it and that is exactly what you get in return "ohh the crap ur doing is stupid and pointless" so just dont bug him and let him do what he wants n if he raises an odd eyebrow just work harder to achive ur goals until u hear him say "hey dear, what should i eat so i could cut down on fat n get some muscle, also how much r u paying for ur gym membership?"
lead by example and showing results.. not nagging and b*tching because then u just become a neiuscens
hear this problem alot even have the same problem in my house hold... i go through cycles of cutting and bulking.. so when im cutting i eat clean when im bulking... well i eat ALOT and occasionally i have blueberry muffin as a pre-workout carb up etc... n i get yelled at for bringing a effin muffin in the house!! like cmoon!!
YOU are supposed to be the one controlling ur diet and what u put in your body! not ur SO, not your mother, not your best friend, not your boss at work!!! so quit whining and do what you got to do! good example... i was doing a anabolic diet/keto diet.. low carbing.. at the time i was part time deliveries at a pizza joint... if i was going by what alot ppl are saying here i would have to make a call to work and say... "sorry guys i cant come in to work anymore.. im dieting and you guys sell pizza... so unless u start making healthy salads for me at lunch time i wont be there"
again the time i was low carbing my SO was telling me to cheat n just eat a muffin (i was craving one like crazy for the entire 3-4months) and she would tell me to eat this and that n the diet is stupid n what not.. well i have dedication and self diciplin.. i didnt b*tch whine or complain.. it was my decision to do the diet not hers.. so why would she have to suffer because i made a change??
now she is doing a keto diet herself after seeing my results lmfao.
ps. sorry if i came across rude but just heard ppl (mainly women for some reason) whine about this constantly..
No I get it! You weren't rude - just honest :-) & you're right. I should lead by example, instead of bugging him about it. I guess its just difficult when I know he's wrong and I'm right :P0 -
Print off what you posted here and read it to him. Take the time to have a serious conversation about it... don't glaze over it while you're doing something else or else he may not realize how important it is to you.
Go one step at a time though... don't try to convert him at this point, he's got to respect your decisions regarding your diet before you can talk to him about his.
You may end up having to cook your meals yourself. He can cook his so you are still cooking together (which is awesome, btw!!!), but you both get what you want.0 -
hehe women... "its hard when i know im right and he is wrong" bahaha how many times have i heard that one before :P
ps. you are about changing ur life :P but not about bugging him about it! trust me.. he will see the change on you and he will want to keep up with u because he wont want to loose you! he loves you and he will follow in ur foot steps eventually!0 -
I'm going to echo the other poster and say lead by example. It's not your SO's responsibility to cook special things for you. If you want something different then you can make it yourself, you're a grownup.
My boyfriend knows that I am going to eat a lot of stuff that he has no interest in (or just flat out doesn't like), and he also knows that I'm not making anything special for him. He's an adult, and he can feed himself if he doesn't like what I'm eating. That's why we have Weight Watchers frozen dinners in the freezer (gross, but he likes them!). We've been together almost 8 years and have outlasted many of my friends' marriages while having a ton of fun together, so it's not like you can't make things work if you're not eating the same things.
On another note, regarding eggs since you mentioned them specifically: Eggs are really good for you, and studies are showing that they can actually reduce your cholesterol. Here's the World's Healthiest Foods page on eggs to give you an idea of the science behind it: http://whfoods.org/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=920 -
I feel your pain and I think alot of people can relate to this. Sometimes our SOs doesn't realize that they come across as negative and/or as sabotaging our efforts. I think you just need to let him know that how you are eating and what you are doing is IMPORTANT TO YOU ! If he doesn't want to participate or be supportive that is his choice but the least he can do is RESPECT what you are doing.0
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No I get it! You weren't rude - just honest :-) & you're right. I should lead by example, instead of bugging him about it. I guess its just difficult when I know he's wrong and I'm right :P
Be careful here... Maybe there is some tongue in cheek that I'm missing, but while there is a whole ton of bad/wrong info out there, there is more than one way to be healthy and have success. Unless he's living on fast food, cut him a little slack and focus more on the things you can control - yourself and your own diet. If its important to him then he'll come around. If not then there probably isn't much you can do.0 -
hehe women... "its hard when i know im right and he is wrong" bahaha how many times have i heard that one before :P
ps. you are about changing ur life :P but not about bugging him about it! trust me.. he will see the change on you and he will want to keep up with u because he wont want to loose you! he loves you and he will follow in ur foot steps eventually!
Thanks for the advice! Its good to get a man's perspective.0 -
I'm going to echo the other poster and say lead by example. It's not your SO's responsibility to cook special things for you. If you want something different then you can make it yourself, you're a grownup.
My boyfriend knows that I am going to eat a lot of stuff that he has no interest in (or just flat out doesn't like), and he also knows that I'm not making anything special for him. He's an adult, and he can feed himself if he doesn't like what I'm eating. That's why we have Weight Watchers frozen dinners in the freezer (gross, but he likes them!). We've been together almost 8 years and have outlasted many of my friends' marriages while having a ton of fun together, so it's not like you can't make things work if you're not eating the same things.
On another note, regarding eggs since you mentioned them specifically: Eggs are really good for you, and studies are showing that they can actually reduce your cholesterol. Here's the World's Healthiest Foods page on eggs to give you an idea of the science behind it: http://whfoods.org/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=92
Ah, if only I could cook!0 -
No I get it! You weren't rude - just honest :-) & you're right. I should lead by example, instead of bugging him about it. I guess its just difficult when I know he's wrong and I'm right :P
Be careful here... Maybe there is some tongue in cheek that I'm missing, but while there is a whole ton of bad/wrong info out there, there is more than one way to be healthy and have success. Unless he's living on fast food, cut him a little slack and focus more on the things you can control - yourself and your own diet. If its important to him then he'll come around. If not then there probably isn't much you can do.
Very true - I see your point. I guess I guess I should just worry more about me and less about him when it comes to eating.0
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