Tips for stopping comparisons?

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DJKenn
DJKenn Posts: 17
in Motivation and Support
I'm my own worst enemy most of the time. I'll think that I'm doing okay, and then I wind up comparing myself against the girls who weigh next to nothing who I go to school with, or who are on T.V. and lose all motivation. How do you keep yourself from getting discouraged by these sort of things?

Replies

  • RumRum85
    RumRum85 Posts: 61 Member
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    Look for a strong referent to compare with. By strong referent I mean somebody with a body structure that could match with yours (sorry my english isn't that good as you may see) and at the same time, that has done something important to be better than the girls of school or even the stupid models of tv.

    Bad example: if you are short, 1.5m and curvy just to give a number, a skinny supermodel of 1.8m even with a nobel prize, is not a good referent.

    Good example: this is up to you.

    The point is, if your mind requires to compare with somebody, without a solid point reference, anything that moves and looks like human will be automatically comparable.
  • BobbyClerici
    BobbyClerici Posts: 813 Member
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    The most miserable we'll ever be is when we compare ourselves to others.
    There's always somebody younger, fitter, better looking, richer...

    I resolved never to play that game and just reach potential by setting and focusing on my goals instead of crying the blues over some other guy's success. It feels so good to reach my goals that I don't look at others like that any longer.
  • Donners185
    Donners185 Posts: 329 Member
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    Im interested in this too. I'm finding it hard to find a good role model. I am naturally an apple shape (although at the min i'm more of an orange shape) and there are plenty of beautiful pear shaped and curvy women i aspire to look like but unfortunately i will never be that shape *sighs*. Maybe i'm just not looking hard enough. My new year's mission will be to find a beautiful apple shaped woman i can aspire to. :smile:
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
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    The girls who weigh "next to nothing" may have eating disorders of their own. Even if they don't, though, everyone has challenges and struggles with issues no matter what they look like. They could be looking at you and envying that you have something [height, a lover, friends, straight teeth, thick hair, whatever] that they don't.
  • kmshred
    kmshred Posts: 393 Member
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    different genes, different builds, different cultures, different ethnicities, different foods.. the list is endless. you have no idea where other people have been, or what their upbringing has been like. don't compare yourself amongst yourselves! thats putting all this into a box. sucks. most of us are aiming for a different self image anyway, aren't we? what if the skinny girl is dying for some lbs and vice versa?!

    i live in asia, everyone here is half my everything. you quickly get over comparing yourself.. sorta helps put things in perspective.

    just be the best version of you, giiirl. at the end of day its your heart, muscles and organs you are trying to keep healthy. no one else really cares or pays that close enough attention to anyone else. gotta get to a point where you feel and look good! well, that's what i tell myself, anyway. keep it strong!
  • lrd2010
    lrd2010 Posts: 161 Member
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    just be the best version of you

    ^^ This!

    Compare yourself to yourself!

    I still get astonished when I look at pictures of me now from as little as 3 years ago.

    You are a wonderful person and the only person you should be compared to is yourself :)
  • stayxtrue
    stayxtrue Posts: 1,190 Member
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    different genes, different builds, different cultures, different ethnicities, different foods.. the list is endless. you have no idea where other people have been, or what their upbringing has been like. don't compare yourself amongst yourselves! thats putting all this into a box. sucks. most of us are aiming for a different self image anyway, aren't we? what if the skinny girl is dying for some lbs and vice versa?!

    i live in asia, everyone here is half my everything. you quickly get over comparing yourself.. sorta helps put things in perspective.

    just be the best version of you, giiirl. at the end of day its your heart, muscles and organs you are trying to keep healthy. no one else really cares or pays that close enough attention to anyone else. gotta get to a point where you feel and look good! well, that's what i tell myself, anyway. keep it strong!

    Wise words right there!
  • kmshred
    kmshred Posts: 393 Member
    Options
    different genes, different builds, different cultures, different ethnicities, different foods.. the list is endless. you have no idea where other people have been, or what their upbringing has been like. don't compare yourself amongst yourselves! thats putting all this into a box. sucks. most of us are aiming for a different self image anyway, aren't we? what if the skinny girl is dying for some lbs and vice versa?!

    i live in asia, everyone here is half my everything. you quickly get over comparing yourself.. sorta helps put things in perspective.

    just be the best version of you, giiirl. at the end of day its your heart, muscles and organs you are trying to keep healthy. no one else really cares or pays that close enough attention to anyone else. gotta get to a point where you feel and look good! well, that's what i tell myself, anyway. keep it strong!

    Wise words right there!

    awh cheers true.
  • stylistchik
    stylistchik Posts: 1,436 Member
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    I love the saying "Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else." It might not help but I thik that's exactly what you need :flowerforyou:
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
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    I used to be really bad at this. I would look at the girls in movies and on TV and even just in public, and I would get angry because I dont look like them. I decided that I couldnt compare them to me. There are some people who are just shaped like that. But, I am not one of them. But those people dont have MY life, and I love my life and wouldnt change it for all the burritos in Mexico!
  • chelle4282
    chelle4282 Posts: 58 Member
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    I've found it's best to compare myself to myself. Not only what I may have looked like 6 months ago, but how my habits have changed, and how I'm becoming more healthy. Like someone above said, there will always be someone smaller, cuter, smarter or more *fill in the blank* than me.

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