Body image

jacquelyn_erika
jacquelyn_erika Posts: 524 Member
edited October 6 in Chit-Chat
Maybe it's extremely childish, but it makes me so self conscious when my boyfriend can see my stomach (unless we're...ya know...). Is anyone else like that? I can't seem to get over it, and I know the self esteem associated with it bothers him. I'm just not comfortable with that part of me, and exposing it to someone I'm so in love with is scary, I don't know why? It should be the opposite...

Any thoughts? More or less, I want to know I'm not alone in this and not craaaazy

Replies

  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    lol one of the reasons i got in shape is so i could feel good when i was with a girl...
  • jhardenbergh
    jhardenbergh Posts: 1,035 Member
    It never really mattered to my wife, close friends, or really complete strangers but for some reason I am uncomfortable with my shirt off in front of my family and it's not because they ever gave me crap about being overweight cause they didn't.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    lol one of the reasons i got in shape is so i could feel good when i was with a girl...

    Me too. I want my boyfriend to see my abs instead of belly fat when we do things in bed.
  • Jessicaruby
    Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
    i am the same way and it drives my boyfriend crazy. i hate him looking at my stomach and especially touching it. and its not just him but everyone
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
    There is a filter in your brain that can be trained to think the way YOU want it to.

    You can do this by repeating, over and over again, especially when you wake up and right before sleep, what you want it to think.

    If you want to feel great about your body, say to yourself "My body is amazing and I look great" or something along that line. You will feel awkward and stupid. Doesn't matter. Continue to say it. Say it outloud sometimes. Say it in your head sometimes. But do it.

    I'm still working on remembering to say this. That is a hard part, too.

    Eventually, your brain will accept this as fact. "Ok, she keeps saying it, so it must be true." :) Good luck.
  • jacquelyn_erika
    jacquelyn_erika Posts: 524 Member
    Glad to know I'm not the only one. I know it drives him insane, but I just can't help it. Even after losing 50 pounds, it will be a long time coming until I'm happy with my stomach. At least he loves me no matter what, but still.
  • NightOwl1
    NightOwl1 Posts: 881 Member
    I think a lot of us are here because we had body image issues. I used to have them a lot before I was with my current girlfriend. I've actually become comfortable enough to stroll around the house naked. But I still am not a fan of my stomach.
  • drvvork
    drvvork Posts: 1,162
    There is a filter in your brain that can be trained to think the way YOU want it to.

    You can do this by repeating, over and over again, especially when you wake up and right before sleep, what you want it to think.

    If you want to feel great about your body, say to yourself "My body is amazing and I look great" or something along that line. You will feel awkward and stupid. Doesn't matter. Continue to say it. Say it outloud sometimes. Say it in your head sometimes. But do it.

    I'm still working on remembering to say this. That is a hard part, too.

    Eventually, your brain will accept this as fact. "Ok, she keeps saying it, so it must be true." :) Good luck.

    I will have to do this... I'm horrible about my body image (the whole body, not just one part). I'm fine with my clothes on but to show any of it - forget it. So, I will give this a go.
  • gazz777
    gazz777 Posts: 722
    There is a filter in your brain that can be trained to think the way YOU want it to.

    You can do this by repeating, over and over again, especially when you wake up and right before sleep, what you want it to think.

    If you want to feel great about your body, say to yourself "My body is amazing and I look great" or something along that line. You will feel awkward and stupid. Doesn't matter. Continue to say it. Say it outloud sometimes. Say it in your head sometimes. But do it.

    I'm still working on remembering to say this. That is a hard part, too.

    Eventually, your brain will accept this as fact. "Ok, she keeps saying it, so it must be true." :) Good luck.

    I will have to do this... I'm horrible about my body image (the whole body, not just one part). I'm fine with my clothes on but to show any of it - forget it. So, I will give this a go.

    I'm working on it for myself. I recommend others do the same.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    maybe this is tmi, but i've never been with a guy like that but i think at this point i couldn't because i'm too self-conscious of my stomach. i need to have a flatter stomach before i ever show it off to anyone.
    even my friends ask why i don't buy a tankini swimsuit instead of a one piece...and the truth is i wouldn't because i wouldn't want a strip of my stomach to show. i am happy with most every body part except for my stomach.
  • ksmith2187
    ksmith2187 Posts: 53
    There has not been one time that my partner of 5 years has seen my stomach, ever during the bedroom scenes. I never go on top unless im wearing a shirt or something (eww gross I know). when I get dressed he has to turn the other way.

    I HATE IT.

    That is the whole reason I am doing this, I want to be able to stand in front of him and not want to neck myself.. he always says I don't care I love you but I don't love me.. yet.. but I will, and he will love me more :)
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    are you kidding me right now?! if i lost 50 pounds you better believe i would be rocking a friggin bikini! you look hot and keep telling yourself that and eventually it will sink in! my hate part is my *kitten*! and i have to cover my legs but this summer you know i will be ina bikini again if it kills me!
  • jacquelyn_erika
    jacquelyn_erika Posts: 524 Member
    are you kidding me right now?! if i lost 50 pounds you better believe i would be rocking a friggin bikini! you look hot and keep telling yourself that and eventually it will sink in! my hate part is my *kitten*! and i have to cover my legs but this summer you know i will be ina bikini again if it kills me!

    haha, i'm hoping i could even fathom the idea of a bathing suit by this summer. if i could tone and drop some more pounds, it might be possible. but then, if it's not my stomach... it's my legs! ughhh! lol
  • Johnny_Castle
    Johnny_Castle Posts: 159
    if you guys are successfully (you know) then obviously he likes the way you look... otherwise....
    so there is no need to worry :D
  • theome
    theome Posts: 101 Member
    pft, been the main reason iv been single for over 3 years. :frown:
  • leemarie324
    leemarie324 Posts: 63 Member
    I was the same exact way with my husband when he came home for R&R from IRAQ a few years ago..i had put weight on so fast that i got stretch marks and was sooo embarrassed for him to see me like that..and of course he came home looking all buff and good...but he just looked at me, and kissed my stomach and said i am still beautiful no matter what weight i am..if he loves you for you, then thats all that matters..:)
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    if you guys are successfully (you know) then obviously he likes the way you look... otherwise....
    so there is no need to worry :D
    i sort of agree but we have to love us too! my man loves me no matter what, when i was 3 sizes bigger and two sizes smaller but i still want to look good for me!
  • jacquelyn_erika
    jacquelyn_erika Posts: 524 Member
    if you guys are successfully (you know) then obviously he likes the way you look... otherwise....
    so there is no need to worry :D

    aw, thanks :) very successful - he treats me like a princess. unfortunately, i still have my insecurities. all in due time though!
  • mrshmiller9
    mrshmiller9 Posts: 112
    Get all those images of "perfect" tummys out! :-) women in magazines are airbrushed beyond belief. Remember how you use to look? Well you don't look like that anymore... Yay! Your new confidence will be way more sexy than you trying to hide it. Let him enjoy you and you are going to feel better about it too. I've had 2 kids, I know I'll never be flat stomached and stretch mark free- but my husband enjoys me and that makes me feel great. Love you! You are beautiful just the way you are.
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