eating disorder help

Hi there,

I am not a professional counselor, but as a professional ballerina in my younger days I was around a lot of girls with eating disorders, and I learned a lot from them. I used that experience to become a peer counselor for women struggling with health, sex, and body image issues while I was in college. So hopefully I can at least provide some advice and support for you.

First of all, I give you a lot of credit for working toward overcoming the anorexia and getting yourself to a) a healthy weight and b) on a healthy meal plan. I know how difficult just getting to that stage is.

I don't think you have a new eating disorder, I just think you have some remaining issues from your past struggles to continue to work on. Anorexics have a very negative relationship with food - it can induce guilt within you worse than anything or anyone else could ever do. It makes you feel weak, which is why you let yourself overeat -- and also why you overcorrect by not eating for the rest of the day in an effort to regain control.

You have to retrain your brain to think of food in a positive way. The foods you are eating now are healthy, and give you the fuel you NEED to do the things you need to do. Good foods make your skin glow, your hair shine, your eyes sparkle, and provide you with the energy to exercise, to laugh, to play with friends and family, and to do whatever it is you want to do with life. You have to turn food into a friend instead of an enemy. Food is fuel -- and if you use it right it will make you your best you physically and mentally.

Now, I know that's not an instant change. I recommend journaling how you feel when you eat, why different foods cause different reactions when you eat them, why you can't stop yourself when you feel you are eating too much. I also recommend putting your food into pre-set portions the day before so that it's easier to stop at the right spot.

I don't think you will need to be hospitalized, although I understand that fear. I would, however, recommend finding a counselor, either in person or on a helpline, to talk to about this further. It truly is a long battle to completely overcome an eating disorder, and you're doing great so far -- don't let this discourage you.

I hope I've helped!

I love the beautiful message from Soxygirl and I agree with her 100%. Many years ago I struggled with much of what you are talking about. To be able to change your relationship with food is key and to work past the guilt and anxiety is certainly what you are shooting for. Journaling is a great idea and I also so strongly suggest a counselor on this one. Do you have someone you trust who has helped you out in the past? Someone who knows you and your journey can help you get past this bump in the road. Good luck, and allow yourself some peace in the fact that you are Not out of control, you are reaching out and you are strong enough to get through this. :flowerforyou:

I fully agree with Erikazj. I've dealt with those issues many years ago, and it takes a very long time to overcome for most people. However, I believe it's best to take advice from your dietitian and your doctor at this point, especially considering the severity.
Support is a beautiful thing and very necessary for healing. That's what we're here to do.
I feel like anyone telling you what kind of relationship you "SHOULD" have with food or tools to try might only exacerbate your feelings of frustration and anger, as you have much healing to do before you can have a "normal" relationship with food (I say this in quotes because it's all relative and open to interpretation).
A thought: perhaps this environment (MFP) is making your preoccupation with food worse for you?
I fully encourage you to adopt healthy eating and regular exercise, but I just remember when I was in the recovery stages that logging food and being preoccupied with calories and such can be counterproductive or even dangerous.
Focus on getting healthy, and MFP will always be here to support you.
Everything will be okay. We're here with you!
-OB

Good luck!

Good luck x