Motivation, Obsession, & Lack There-of

ivyjbres
ivyjbres Posts: 612 Member
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
So I've always had this problem doing anything; I've never been fantastically motivated to do much of anything, except that I just enjoy doing it. So usually, if I want to get something big done, I have to plan obsessively (basically to the nth degree), and then obsessively follow through on that plan. I feel better, think better, and are more productive when I'm on a schedule.

The past few years I've been having trouble putting plans into action and keeping a schedule, and everything suffers for it. I gain weight while dieting, my house is a mess even though it feels like I clean constantly, and even though I do laundry every few days, I never have any clean clothes.

But that's normal-ish, right? Everybody has trouble keeping up with all of their commitments. My problem is that my husband is disabled (severely) and my son is special needs, so I have to do everything basically by myself. Hubby's home all day and doesn't like spending all day every day in a dirty house. And I get that, that's normal too, but when we were discussing it, and why I haven't been able to keep up as well the past 2 years as I did in the past, I had to explain that I have to plan things obsessively and then follow them through (obsessively). And in my mind, he should already know this, we've been together for almost 9 years, and he's known me for almost 10. And now, suddenly, he wants me to just "do stuff like normal people do."

What?

You wait ten years to tell me you want perfect results, your not going to help at all, and I can't even do it my way? WTF?

You want results, but you don't want me to do what it takes to get those results?

...................................

Mostly I'm just venting, I'm pretty sure that what he's asking is impossible, and he's just going to have to accept that. But does anybody else go through this? How do you motivate yourself and stay on track, with zero organization and planning? How to you see how your doing and make course corrections without anything to compare to?

Replies

  • sam23030
    sam23030 Posts: 76
    I get how you feel, I'm verybusy myself having about 3 hours a weekday when I'm not out at work or sleeping. Planning things out really does help, even if you just keep the plans in your mind on a daily or a weekly basis. I try to plan the meals we will have each night and this helps when shopping to know what you need and you save money by not buying random things. I think if you need to plan things to get them done, then that's what you should do! He doesn't even need to know about it if its really causing friction it can just be mental notes or on a calendar or spreadsheet.

    With regards to just carrying out things without planning, I tend to keep a well stocked freezer so you can just pick items to make dinner of an evening. Cleaning tends to mainly take place when people are due round but things like the washing we try to do overnight so just before bed I will check if a wash needs to go on.

    Best of luck to you, sounds like you have very little free time, remember to take some time to relax and don't feel bad about it!!
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