When do you speak up?

Helloitsdan
Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I'm known amongst my friends as kind of a ball breaker when it comes to eating the proper daily calories.
Sometimes I notice people eating WAY below and on a consistent basis so I say something.
Most of the time I get a "Oh I didnt realize that was bad!" or "MFP has me at 1200 and i'm starving!!!".
Sometimes I come across people who actually have problems eating!
I dont understand it and probably never will.
I love food!

Quite a few of my friends who i've approached about these things are now eating well and losing weight or gaining lean mass!

Have any of you ever spoken up to a "Friend" on MFP about their bad eating habits?
Have you ever helped anyone from this?
Has anyone ever told you to F*** off and mind your business?

I noticed someone who is a small person but trying to diet down way below their healthy body weight.
This isnt just fat loss but lean mass as well!
Should you say something and be persistent or should you just leave it alone if asked to bugger off?
Should I delete the friendship on MFP and just leave well enough alone?

What would you do?

Replies

  • mkmacf
    mkmacf Posts: 101
    I would express gentle concern. If they choose to at least consider your comments with an open mind, you have done what you can do. Besides that, if there was a hostile response or if you really just found it hard to watch them damage themselves, I would block or delete or whatever happens on here. You shouldn't have to experience stress over this one little website and the people on it.

    I love your empathy though! Good luck.
  • lisaelainee
    lisaelainee Posts: 248 Member
    I think you should know your facts about the person first.
    You don't know me and even my housemate has told you that I eat a lot.
    How am I supposed to lose weight by eating an absurd amount of calories?
    I eat what MFC TELLS ME TO.
    Some times I am below and that is either because I do not know how many calories something I ate has or because I exercised my bum off.
    Telling me that I am ill and will go to hospital isn't helping me nor is it helping me that you keep writing status' about me and making it sound like a joke.
    What you are doing is a form of bullying.
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
    You specifically asked people to help you get to a weight below what is healthy for a woman your height.
    5 foot tall and 18? Easy 105-115 lbs perfect weight.
    At 88 lbs and healthy fat youll have a lean mass of appx 71lbs.
    So youll have to lose appx 10-12lbs of LEAN MASS! Thats crazy!
    Thats how much a 10 year old child weighs btw.
    Thats all i was pointing out.
    Dont worry though!
    I deleted the friendship because its on a lost cause.
    At some point the facts ive shown you will come true and youll understand that i'm trying to help.

    Bullying?

    If you have a friend in real life who is drinking themselves to death or jumping off cliffs because they dont care wouldnt you say something?

    Probably not!
  • mysteria_
    mysteria_ Posts: 44 Member
    I think you should know your facts about the person first.
    You don't know me and even my housemate has told you that I eat a lot.
    How am I supposed to lose weight by eating an absurd amount of calories?
    I eat what MFC TELLS ME TO.
    Some times I am below and that is either because I do not know how many calories something I ate has or because I exercised my bum off.
    Telling me that I am ill and will go to hospital isn't helping me nor is it helping me that you keep writing status' about me and making it sound like a joke.
    What you are doing is a form of bullying.

    If you feel you're being harassed you should report it... for what it's worth I looked at your diary and don't see any problems... I've seen girls on here that stay in the 500-600 range... now that's an issue :/
  • lisaelainee
    lisaelainee Posts: 248 Member
    The comments that you have said are an example of bullying.
    There are girls everywhere that are the same age and weigh less.
    I said 88lbs so I will be determined to lose weight.
    If I feel happy about my weight before then, then great!
    All I am doing is trying to lose some weight because I am classified as over the healthy limit.
    I don't mind if your my friend or not, I don't like people who harass their so called 'friend'.
    My best friend from a few months ago is ACTUALLY ANOREXIC.
    I would never do that and she knows that, my house mate knows that.
    MY ACTUAL FRIENDS KNOW THAT.

    It is NOT TRUE that I will be in hospital.
    It is NOT TRUE that you helped me the proper way.
    It is NOT TRUE that you would even be classified as a friend because of you making fun of me to your friends.
  • lisaelainee
    lisaelainee Posts: 248 Member
    I think you should know your facts about the person first.
    You don't know me and even my housemate has told you that I eat a lot.
    How am I supposed to lose weight by eating an absurd amount of calories?
    I eat what MFC TELLS ME TO.
    Some times I am below and that is either because I do not know how many calories something I ate has or because I exercised my bum off.
    Telling me that I am ill and will go to hospital isn't helping me nor is it helping me that you keep writing status' about me and making it sound like a joke.
    What you are doing is a form of bullying.

    If you feel you're being harassed you should report it... for what it's worth I looked at your diary and don't see any problems... I've seen girls on here that stay in the 500-600 range... now that's an issue :/

    Thankyou and like I have said, if I am below then there is a reason.
    I have come to MFP to find people with common things not to get bullied.
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