MAN OR SKINNY....?

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smittenmikish
smittenmikish Posts: 56
in Health and Weight Loss
Every period of time in my life where I've been single, I've lost a ton of weight. Every time where I've been with a man, I gain it all back. I love cooking, but if I have no one to cook for I tend to eat way less.

I'm ok being single right now... but when I DO find the right guy, he better be A) Not a picky eater and B) Open to staying healthy.

Has anyone else gone through these dramatic fluctuations in and out of relationships? I've been going through a divorce for the last year and lost 43 lbs without even logging... just because of stress.

Am I the only one, or have other people been in the boat?

Replies

  • sara819
    sara819 Posts: 48 Member
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    Yep! I'm totally right there with you! I put on about 50lbs during my 5 year relationship and when that ended earlier this year I realized how unhappy I was and decided to do something about it. So far I've lost 21lbs and hope to lose another 9 atleast. Good luck to you!
  • CiciPorcayo
    CiciPorcayo Posts: 381 Member
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    Well I can tell you that being with my now husband I gained a lot of weight even after having kids. You get comfy. You don't maintain as much because you have somebody who cares about you, you go out to dinner and a movie, make dinners all the time, go to dinners all the time... I think when you find someone (START NOW THOUGH) let him know your health and fitness is important and just keep exerising and eating right :)
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,638 Member
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    its been hard for me because my boyfriend is trying to GAIN weight (and muscle). He's on MFP and his daily calorie goal is 2,640 while mine is 1,500 lol I feel like I have gained some weight being with him because he loves pizza, skyline, and chicken but he eats healthy things that I make too so as long as I leave the room while he eats his extra meals I'm ok haha
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    Yes. It's called happy weight. Unfortunately, I too, have been thinner out of a relationship the last several years. With me it's usually because I stay up later for their call or for them to get home from work, then I'm hungry, so I have a big snack or second dinner... put off workouts waiting for them, etc. Now that I'm in a relationship and am only -10 of the 30 lbs I've gained with this guy, its safe to say I'll be in shape by the time he proposes! lol :happy: I told myself I would only date somene who was in shape and wanted to be active, etc. but you don't choose who you love. This guy eats Taco Bell, Chipotle, Mooyah, refuses to eat healhty, and doesn't work out. He's up 30 lbs and I'm only up 20 lbs from when we met.
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    I put on most of the weight (almost 50lbs) when I was in a relationship... And it was not because of cooking or anything like that.. Honestly I just was always emotionally eating...but as soon as we broke up, I immediately got serious and lost almost half of what I've gained so far. I'm happy and feeling great that I've lost some of that weight :)
  • smily_001
    smily_001 Posts: 135 Member
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    I have always heard that when you get in a relationship you get more comfortable and worry a little less about your looks.. Also I think you have so little time for yourself when you are in a relationship that you put yourself on the back burner sometimes.. The advice I will give, is when you are in a relationship, to make sure to give yourself some "me" time. Sometimes you have to put yourself first..
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
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    good observation..
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
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    Yup. Happens to me everytime. I take really good care of myself when I'm single. No one else is around to feed me junk or bring it into the house, I don't eat out, and I have all the time in the world to spend on myself.

    When I am dating someone I am more likely to skip the gym to spend time with them, lounge around being lazy cuddling, eating out, and cooking unhealthy food. Not to mention drinking booze!!
  • MaggieMay131
    MaggieMay131 Posts: 211 Member
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    Yes definitely! In college, I gained a lot of weight while in a relationship with a very toxic guy... we drank a LOT together and he always told me he loved my curves, etc... and whenever I would lose weight he would tell me I was getting "too thin." Now I am married to a wonderful man who really puts a priority on fitness (he used to be overweight himself), so that really helps. I think neither of us want to go down the "happy weight' road, so we eat healthy together and prioritize working out.

    Maybe the next guy you find will be a fitness nut too!! :)
  • pornstarzombie
    pornstarzombie Posts: 297
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    It happens to me. Usually about 15 pounds or so, sometimes 20. Which I can hold on my frame, but it's on the upper end of what is healthy.

    My issue is the men I'm with tend to want to feed me, because I'm a picky eater and don't eat much at one sitting.

    PLus, totally the "happy weight" thing :)
  • EuroDriver12
    EuroDriver12 Posts: 805 Member
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    yeah when im stressed or pissed n if i eat i feel like im going to puke it out...

    as for ur other comments find a very fit guy that cares about health and fitness.. gym prolly a decent place to start :)
  • jordanlell
    jordanlell Posts: 340 Member
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    For me it was going out to eat all the time. When I started dating my boyfriend three years ago, we probably ate restaurant food or fast food for at least 2 of our meals on most days. I put on about 20, he put on about 40, but now we're both on MFP, and he's lost almost all the weight he put on and I've lost all of mine and then some. Being in a relationship doesn't have to mean being overweight, you just have to work at it, and it helps if you can do it together :)
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,020 Member
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    One of the many good reasons for a 1 night stand. :devil:
  • stcar
    stcar Posts: 207 Member
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    I'm the opposite, when I'm single I gain weight (cause nobody's seeing me naked anyways) and when I'm in a relationship, I get skinny. I think it's because I'm happy when I'm with someone (usually) and really hate the feeling of my man touching my stomach and me cringing because I feel squishy!
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
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    I started my whole MFP effort in the middle of my current relationship.... *shrug*
  • smittenmikish
    smittenmikish Posts: 56
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    Touche
  • 1FitMom326
    1FitMom326 Posts: 228
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    Yes definitely! In college, I gained a lot of weight while in a relationship with a very toxic guy... we drank a LOT together and he always told me he loved my curves, etc... and whenever I would lose weight he would tell me I was getting "too thin." Now I am married to a wonderful man who really puts a priority on fitness (he used to be overweight himself), so that really helps. I think neither of us want to go down the "happy weight' road, so we eat healthy together and prioritize working out.

    Maybe the next guy you find will be a fitness nut too!! :)

    I agree with this, there are many reasons why we can gain weight in a relationship. I was in an abusive relationship, the guy I was dating would get jealous if I was losing weight and he thought men were noticing me. I was married for 10 years and was not emotionally happy and I gained 40lbs over those years.

    I think if you meet the right person who understands the benefits of being healthy and who wants to encourage you in your journey than not gaining weight is a possibility. Being single we have more control over our schedules, when we can work out, what we eat, what kind of food we buy and it all helps.
  • JennC831
    JennC831 Posts: 631 Member
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    When I was in the AF I weighed between 140-145 and worked out like it was nobody's business... I was single... LOL... Once my now husband and I moved in together the weight piled on and I've been working to lose it ever since!! I'll lose some and then gain it all back.. My husband is very active, has been his whole life and he supports me in getting to the weight I want.. The only problem is we both love carbs and sugar!!! So we're cutting back...
  • manjot01
    manjot01 Posts: 10
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    I totally agreee!!! My fiance is 6'4 weighs 250 pounds and a body builder. His daily calorie goal is between 4000 - 6000. Now if you compare him to me i'm 5'2 and weigh 130 pounds theres a huge difference!!!

    When we started dating i was 115 pounds and went up to 142 pounds in 2 years!!!! I have lost about 12 pounds and toned up everywhere but i still want to lost the extra 15 I put on.

    Whenever he sits down to eat he always wants me to eat, even if its healthy i cant eat that much! And if i dont eat then he says he doesnt like eating alone so i give in and eat with him.

    You do start feeling comfortable but its also the amount they eat! So now i have started puttin my foot down and ONLY eating when im hungry and if he doesnt like it then too bad lol.

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