control ?

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odlucna
odlucna Posts: 5
in Motivation and Support
I'm thinking .. i'm scared . For some reason i have no energy any more, and i lost focus , i lost motivation. I have worked so hard the past 5 mo nths, i worked otu 4-6 times a week, i got the HRM, i watched my calories, i did so much above and beyond.. and in 5 months i lost 11 lbs..
and after a very hard week of exercise .. maybe the hardest so far, i wanted to push it and see the scale finaly move past that damn 232.. that i'm stuck on for 2 months now.. i wanted to see a 229 so bad.. i step on the scale, .. day before it was 232.. next day it's 238 .. !?! WTH ?
Yes.. it was the time of the month approaching.. and i didn't feel any weight gain .. at all .. but the scale kept showing 6 lbs gain.. the time of the month is ending now.. and the weight is still there.. so .. it is maybe not water like i was hoping ???

Any ways.. i'm so low and down.. i feel like i'm losing the bettel.. i feel like i just don't know what else to do.. i mean i do every thing, exercise so much and i know everything about the food, the carbs, the calories, the fiber, and the water etc.. why is it so hard and almost impossible for me to see some results ? I can't go on any more without some type of result.. :cry:

Everyone is talking about controling your environment. Knowing what is in your kitchen //fridge etc.
If it is not there you can't eat it.
So, for a very long time i was able to control everything. What is in the kitchen and what is on the plate, not only mine but everyones in the family.
Now big changes came unexpectedly, i lost my job, husband switched shifts.. i lost control of everything.
I'm scared.. i can't control the schedules anymore, i can't control the time of the meals anymore- since everyone is eating separetely.. i'm in the kitchen more than i like to , since i have to prepare few different meals - kids breakfasts, kids lucnes to go, husband's breakfast/lunch combo, kids lunch /dinner at home, husbands late dinner- almost arround midnight..
my sleeping schedule is gone.. i had a precise schedule.. now i don't , i'm waiting for husband to come home and we don't go to bed till midnight or later.. i don't like that..

but what made me think is .. how can it be that i had the energy for few years to control everything, the environment, the meals, the groceries, the household, i was controling everything- but i can't control myself.. ???
Am i controling everything just to avoid controling myself ?
I used to be bolimic.. for years.. even that " binging " gave me some type of feeling of control. I controlled how much i ate and how much i wanted to ' keep inside of me " ..

what is it with me and this controling? and fear of losing it.. ? what is going on.. ?
i'm just trying to get to those " deeper " issues that might be hiding in me i can't break through something, i'm just stuck on something for about 2 years, i can't make it past the 230-220 lbs.. i was at 285.. but i just can't move another lbs.. i'm stuck for way to long..

anyone have any idea.. any thing to give me to think about .... i dont know maybe i just need to get this out and talk to someone.. ?
sorry if i'm just a mess and nothing makes sense.. but i had to get it out.. and there's still so much .. a big mess in me.. but i'll stop here for now.. :cry:

Replies

  • odlucna
    odlucna Posts: 5
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    I'm thinking .. i'm scared . For some reason i have no energy any more, and i lost focus , i lost motivation. I have worked so hard the past 5 mo nths, i worked otu 4-6 times a week, i got the HRM, i watched my calories, i did so much above and beyond.. and in 5 months i lost 11 lbs..
    and after a very hard week of exercise .. maybe the hardest so far, i wanted to push it and see the scale finaly move past that damn 232.. that i'm stuck on for 2 months now.. i wanted to see a 229 so bad.. i step on the scale, .. day before it was 232.. next day it's 238 .. !?! WTH ?
    Yes.. it was the time of the month approaching.. and i didn't feel any weight gain .. at all .. but the scale kept showing 6 lbs gain.. the time of the month is ending now.. and the weight is still there.. so .. it is maybe not water like i was hoping ???

    Any ways.. i'm so low and down.. i feel like i'm losing the bettel.. i feel like i just don't know what else to do.. i mean i do every thing, exercise so much and i know everything about the food, the carbs, the calories, the fiber, and the water etc.. why is it so hard and almost impossible for me to see some results ? I can't go on any more without some type of result.. :cry:

    Everyone is talking about controling your environment. Knowing what is in your kitchen //fridge etc.
    If it is not there you can't eat it.
    So, for a very long time i was able to control everything. What is in the kitchen and what is on the plate, not only mine but everyones in the family.
    Now big changes came unexpectedly, i lost my job, husband switched shifts.. i lost control of everything.
    I'm scared.. i can't control the schedules anymore, i can't control the time of the meals anymore- since everyone is eating separetely.. i'm in the kitchen more than i like to , since i have to prepare few different meals - kids breakfasts, kids lucnes to go, husband's breakfast/lunch combo, kids lunch /dinner at home, husbands late dinner- almost arround midnight..
    my sleeping schedule is gone.. i had a precise schedule.. now i don't , i'm waiting for husband to come home and we don't go to bed till midnight or later.. i don't like that..

    but what made me think is .. how can it be that i had the energy for few years to control everything, the environment, the meals, the groceries, the household, i was controling everything- but i can't control myself.. ???
    Am i controling everything just to avoid controling myself ?
    I used to be bolimic.. for years.. even that " binging " gave me some type of feeling of control. I controlled how much i ate and how much i wanted to ' keep inside of me " ..

    what is it with me and this controling? and fear of losing it.. ? what is going on.. ?
    i'm just trying to get to those " deeper " issues that might be hiding in me i can't break through something, i'm just stuck on something for about 2 years, i can't make it past the 230-220 lbs.. i was at 285.. but i just can't move another lbs.. i'm stuck for way to long..

    anyone have any idea.. any thing to give me to think about .... i dont know maybe i just need to get this out and talk to someone.. ?
    sorry if i'm just a mess and nothing makes sense.. but i had to get it out.. and there's still so much .. a big mess in me.. but i'll stop here for now.. :cry:
  • swissdutchess
    swissdutchess Posts: 109
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    Hey, don't be discouraged! Plateaus are a natural thing. Frustrating, but natural. Plus, you totally switched up your schedule, even if you didn't have an option in that. You just have to find what works for you and take the time to find it. I plateaued for the longest time, like 2 or 3 months, and then started loosing weight again. Then I was on vacation for a week, lost my routine, and gained like 6 pounds. Now I have to rededicate myself.

    I, too, was working out 6 times a week, running 4-5, or even more miles every day, and eating around 1200 calories. But I became so worried and stressed that if I didn't do that, then I would gain weight. The stress, in the end, did make me gain. I had to learn to understand that I needed to relax and not be so obsessed. You have to find a balance. It was ok for me to miss a day of working out, just as long as my eating remained healthy. If you don't find a spot in your life for happiness, then the stress will reverse what you are trying to achieve.

    Just take a day for yourself. Do something you like to do (no working out!). Go to the beach or a park or hiking or something. Just you. Read a book, or go shoe shopping. Then take a deep breath and tackle your schedule. Just try different things to see if it works out, like preparing meals all at once, so that you can save left overs for later meals, or maybe not waiting for your husband to get home and just go to bed on time a couple nights a week to see if that helps rejuvenate you. You aren't stuck forever. Don't give up hope! You have been doing so well, but your body is under a lot of stress and you need to ease off the obsession. I did and I started to loose weight after my plateau.

    Hope this helps! Hang in there. It will all be worth it!!
  • swtally80
    swtally80 Posts: 278 Member
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    Well said. U can do it! Just keep strong sista! Sounds like ur in a rough spot but don't let it foil ur plans and goals!
  • reverie212
    reverie212 Posts: 4
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    Just be patient with yourself. Weight loss takes time and patients. Sometimes your body plays tricks on you and goes up and down a few lbs here and there. Make sure you are not overwhelming yourself by working out too often. 3 days a week is plenty as long as you are challenging your heart and strengthening your muscles. Sometimes when we over do it, its easy to get discouraged. I have been trapped in that situation before. You think if you work out a little more or eat a little less that you will do better and the scale will change. This situation is what makes people give up. Just take a deep breath, give yourself some positive self-talk and start over but be realistic about it. Its not a race. Don't let it be all about control either. Its ok to cheat once in awhile, just make sure you go back to eating healthy after that. You will drive yourself crazy if you don't live a little. Just don't turn it into a binge.

    Take care and good luck to you.

    Erica
  • saswatisil2000
    saswatisil2000 Posts: 7
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    Hey, try the yoga of Ramdeb baba ..it is a true miracle. I have posted the benefits today..just read it and i assure you that instead of working so hard try and relax and do Kapalbhati pranayam..i am loosing 100-200 gms everyday.. I am so happy..so wanted to share with you
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
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    I'm sorry things are so messed up right now. You are obviously overwhelmed and all this stress isn't good for for you. You need to make time for yourself. Whether it be going for a nice walk everyday, having a bubble bath, reading a good book, going to yoga, tea with a friend, what ever will allow you to get away from your troubles for a little while and breathe and relax. Stress is not good for your health and can hinder your weightloss. I know you are really busy and have a family but I think this is really important and will not only benefit you but also your family. Don't worry about your plateau right now. As long as you watch what you eat and are active the weight will eventually come off.

    Best wishes:flowerforyou:
  • odlucna
    odlucna Posts: 5
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    Thanks you all for this wonderful coments, it is so helpful to hear some positive support, encouragment etc.
    It helps so much, and even if it is things we think " we know " it helps sometimes to hear it from others.

    I will try to follow most of your advices, about not obsessing, relaxing, trying to focus on healthy eating and being active - not obsessing about the platoe etc.. it does sound easy but if you have been through it, you know how it is.

    Thanks again i really really appreciate your comments.:flowerforyou:

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