Eating Disorders
kyliegroat
Posts: 11
I'm gonna go out on a serious limb here... anyone else out there in recovery from an eating disorder? Whether it's anorexia, bulimia, EDNOS, or any others... recovery is a difficult process, & if there's anyone out there struggling with it, we all need the support. Come on out of the woodwork - no one's going to shame you here.
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Recovering from bulimia. It's a constant struggle, and a total mind**** but this website has helped me a lot because it gives me a sense of control and structure with my eating habits. One day at a time
Also, I want to mention that eating disorders have nothing to do with weight, or how a person looks, I ve never been thin and I have suffered from bulimia for 2 years, never lost more than 5 pounds doing that and in the end, i actually gained a lot of weight since it all started because I m also a compulsive overeater. It s just a horrible way to live, and once you lose control, you spiral down. My life revolved around food and hiding my disorder. I would lock myself in my house, pull the blinds and just eat as much food as I could. Then I would purge. And then eat again and then purge and then eat, and in the end, my last sitting of food I would keep because I didn't have the strength to purge again. i would hide the empty bags and containers when I was done so my boyfriend wouldnt know how much I ate. I cleaned my bathroom about 8 times in an evening. I did this everyday for 2 years.
Haven't binged or purged in 32 days.1 -
seems like i'm the one who you're talking about. had bulimia and anorexia nearly three years ago, cannot say i'm completely over them, because i came to mfp looking for a healthy way to control my weigth. still have some periods of obsessive-compulsive disorder but work hard to come it over. don't want to waste my life for stupid things like i did before.
and i also started a blog here, kind of confessions of ex-anorexic with daily things and thoughts about ed, self esteem and health.0 -
I hate to say it but recovering is one thing!
I cant support someone who is still practicing and wont see the ED for what it is!
So far last week i've had to delete 2 people because they wouldnt see and agree that they had any issues.
Both were 18 years old!
What did you have to go through in order to understand that the ED was harming you?
Are you willing to point the finger at someone who is in the midst of their ED and tell them to get help?
Are you willing to say something to people who congratulate someones diary that is way too low?
Both these girls were getting encouragement from peers on diaries showing 1kcalories and under.
Just a quick illumination on the 2 without names of course...
1) wanted to diet down to 88lbs with MFPs help. Extremely unhealthy for her size would mean to lose 30lbs fat as well as 10-15lbs lean mass.
2) thought that eating over 250 calories a day was insane and anyone who said anything negative got the "mind your business" speech!
Kylie, do you have any helpful websites or information on the web that we can point these folks to if they need guidance?
Thank you for sharing this BTW! It must be hard putting yourself out there!
(((HUGS)))
Dan'O
PS: Both girls told me to F off even though I offered to run their dietary numbers for a proper eating plan.
Macros and all!
=(0 -
Dan, I think the problem is that most people with EDs already know it's a problem and are aware that it's harming them or will if they continue. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot already know all about proper nutrition even though they don't follow it. Maybe a bit similar to people that are overweight and not ready to change yet but more so, since the ED is a mental illness. It's something that controls you while making you feel that you are in control, so it could be that they are using it to deal with something else that they don't want to work on.
You might want to look at these two sites:
http://ed-bites.blogspot.com/
http://www.something-fishy.org/0 -
I am still recovering and in the midst of anorexia and bulimia ...
It's been 5 hard years and I still struggle....0 -
Hugs to you all!0
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I hate to say it but recovering is one thing!
I cant support someone who is still practicing and wont see the ED for what it is!
So far last week i've had to delete 2 people because they wouldnt see and agree that they had any issues.
Both were 18 years old!
What did you have to go through in order to understand that the ED was harming you?
Are you willing to point the finger at someone who is in the midst of their ED and tell them to get help?
Are you willing to say something to people who congratulate someones diary that is way too low?
Both these girls were getting encouragement from peers on diaries showing 1kcalories and under.
Just a quick illumination on the 2 without names of course...
1) wanted to diet down to 88lbs with MFPs help. Extremely unhealthy for her size would mean to lose 30lbs fat as well as 10-15lbs lean mass.
2) thought that eating over 250 calories a day was insane and anyone who said anything negative got the "mind your business" speech!
Kylie, do you have any helpful websites or information on the web that we can point these folks to if they need guidance?
Thank you for sharing this BTW! It must be hard putting yourself out there!
(((HUGS)))
Dan'O
PS: Both girls told me to F off even though I offered to run their dietary numbers for a proper eating plan.
Macros and all!
=(
Hey All,
Just wanted to reply to Dan's message.
What did you have to go through in order to understand that the ED was harming you?
When you are in the hold of ED you don't even understand how hard it is to get out of that, to be able to see! it's like your blind to anything else but ED, like nothing else makes you feel whole! because the reason I got ED was because there was something missing in my life and I thought my being skinny and weighing under 100lbs I could fill that hole, I would be complete.
The only person to get you out of ED is you. I managed to get down to 105lbs and I was so weak and constantly cold, my bones were purtruing, my ribs were like a xylophone!! and I was thinking right I only need to lose an extra 5lbs then I will be happy, yes that will make me complete. How can I do this?? well I know I can stop going out with my friends and family all together and just be alone <<<<<<< that thought made me think what the heck am I doing???? I love my friends and my family why would I want to do that. That day was when I realised ED was harming me, not helping me. Some of my friends already knew I had ED so I knew what I had to do. I had to tell my mum. It was the hardest thing I ever did but the best thing too because she helps me so much. You need support in recovery not just someone to point out that you have a problem because believe me, if you had told me that when I had ED, you would have got an F off too, no offence Dan anyone would have got that. These girls are ill and they are blind to what is real and what is fake...i.e. models on TV are fake but they're moms and friends without ED aren't!
Are you willing to point the finger at someone who is in the midst of their ED and tell them to get help?
I wouldn't PM them but you need to be very very careful about this because they can get even worse if you point out that they have the disorder. It's really hard! It's only really them themselves who can help. If you do want to speak to them maybe read up about it on the internet.
Are you willing to say something to people who congratulate someones diary that is way too low?
Yes!!!!! if its under 1200 per day nearly every day and they are exercising like mad too...there is defo something wrong!! I would eat 500 calories a day and walk 2 hours every day - didn't have the energy for any intense exercise. It's not good, it ruins your bones and I have one leg shorter than the other so the drs said I am more than likely going to get arthiritis by the time I am 30 anyway (23 now!) so that is another reason I got help.
I know what you mean Dan but you need to be careful when you speak to people who you suspect have ED, if they do they are ill, its like telling an alcoholic he's an alcoholic! he would probably smack you in your face. You are only trying to help and us from the outside can see that but ED is horrible and it won't let anyone help...recovery comes from the inside out!! x0 -
Are you willing to point the finger at someone who is in the midst of their ED and tell them to get help?
Are you willing to say something to people who congratulate someones diary that is way too low?
It's hard to navigate that minefield, man!
I've brought up the issue before and I got growled at.
I want to stop people from hurting themselves but if they won't listen then what can I do?
I've never had an eating disorder so I don't really know what it's like. I guess someone that's suffered through one would more likely be listened to.
Sometimes I wonder whether my recent strictness in my calorie counting could some day turn into an eating disorder. Would you guys think that this is something to worry about? It seems like it could be a difficult battle for balance. I can put my head in the sand and over eat and get fatter or I can be strict and count every calorie and become obsessed with hitting a target every day.0 -
Are you willing to point the finger at someone who is in the midst of their ED and tell them to get help?
Are you willing to say something to people who congratulate someones diary that is way too low?
It's hard to navigate that minefield, man!
I've brought up the issue before and I got growled at.
I want to stop people from hurting themselves but if they won't listen then what can I do?
I've never had an eating disorder so I don't really know what it's like. I guess someone that's suffered through one would more likely be listened to.
Sometimes I wonder whether my recent strictness in my calorie counting could some day turn into an eating disorder. Would you guys think that this is something to worry about? It seems like it could be a difficult battle for balance. I can put my head in the sand and over eat and get fatter or I can be strict and count every calorie and become obsessed with hitting a target every day.
Hey I don't think it is something to worry about, just don't strive to be perfect...perfectionism is one of the key points for ED. As long as you are not going crazy with the calories over your daily calorie intake then you will be fine
I was virtually starving myself then binging like mad, its crazy! I think you will be fine just don't make dieting and being thin what your life is about x 0 -
I hate to say it but recovering is one thing!
I cant support someone who is still practicing and wont see the ED for what it is!
So far last week i've had to delete 2 people because they wouldnt see and agree that they had any issues.
Both were 18 years old!
What did you have to go through in order to understand that the ED was harming you?
Are you willing to point the finger at someone who is in the midst of their ED and tell them to get help?
Are you willing to say something to people who congratulate someones diary that is way too low?
Both these girls were getting encouragement from peers on diaries showing 1kcalories and under.
Just a quick illumination on the 2 without names of course...
1) wanted to diet down to 88lbs with MFPs help. Extremely unhealthy for her size would mean to lose 30lbs fat as well as 10-15lbs lean mass.
2) thought that eating over 250 calories a day was insane and anyone who said anything negative got the "mind your business" speech!
Kylie, do you have any helpful websites or information on the web that we can point these folks to if they need guidance?
Thank you for sharing this BTW! It must be hard putting yourself out there!
(((HUGS)))
Dan'O
PS: Both girls told me to F off even though I offered to run their dietary numbers for a proper eating plan.
Macros and all!
=(
In response to your first comment: by "in recovery" I mean that at the very least, we've acknowledged that we have issues & we're working toward fixing them. That acknowledgement is the first step toward real recovery - and every one of those steps counts. Yes, I still struggle. No, I would not call myself "recovered" by any means. I do still suffer from an eating disorder. I'm working on it. It's hard to break out of - in a culture that's so obsessed with weight, & as a person that's become so obsessed with food, it's hard to eat what others would call a healthy amount one day without wanting to starve the next. When it's common knowledge that after eating <1000 calories a day for so long I WILL gain my weight back once I start eating normally, it's a serious mental & emotional battle to want to eat anything of substance. But I'm trying - slowly but surely. Yes, I have days where I fall back into my old habits. Yes, I still eat less than I should - but after over a year of eating as little as I could, it's more than even the mental & emotional battle - it's the fact that I physically can't stomach anything more. & it's not that I'm deliberately practicing an ED - it's a mental illness.
What did you have to go through in order to understand that the ED was harming you?
There was a point last year where I was eating so little - and not drinking enough water on top of that - that when I did exercise, I'd get dizzy. That was sort of my wakeup call. There were months when I'd drink a few cups of coffee in a few hours, followed by a whole lot of water to flush it out, & then have one meal when I felt I was going to faint. I messaged a friend at one point, knowing she'd been through something similar in the past, & she told me she'd been worrying about me for a while. She checks up on me on a regular basis, as do several other friends.
Are you willing to point the finger at someone who is in the midst of their ED and tell them to get help?
I'm cautious about the phrase "point the finger" - while being so direct helps with some people, it doesn't with others. On the one hand, my friend waited for me to come to her, which I'm grateful for - but on the other, I recognize that not everyone will go to someone, & sometimes the person has to be approached. But yes, if I know it's a person who has to be approached about it, I will say something to them.
Are you willing to say something to people who congratulate someones diary that is way too low?
Absolutely. When someone has a legitimate problem like that, spurring them on, congratulating them & encouraging them to continue down that path is just not okay.0 -
I found this place from an app for my kindle. I wanted to lose weight by coming out of recovery. I am ED-NOS and was never severely underweight so I hid it well. I am 31 years old and have been in recovery for about 6 years, but I still fall off the wagon on occasion. My daughter was born in February 2010 and I shot back up to my high weight. I started restricting when she was several months old, but got pregnant again. My son was born this past June. I'm feeling the urge to restrict again, so I downloaded this app. I actually came to this forum to find others with eds to help me. I know the dangers, but when you're overweight, its hard to not consider the only thing that has helped me lose weight in the past. Just wanted to put in my 2 cents. Looking for weight loss support if anyone wants to add me as a friend. Not sure how to actually do that yet. Thanks.0
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Recovering from binge-restrict type bulimia.0
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I want to recover from anorexia, but it just keeps getting worse. Now I'm 5'3" and 89 pounds.0
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I just started going to a psychologist and nutritionist about three weeks ago to try to recover from ednos. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done and it sucks, a lot.0
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*raises hand* I'm in recovery from bulimia, doing whatever it took to lower my weight, which lasted around 3 or 4 years. Really, you lose track of time; each disordered behavior begins to blend in with the previous one. Currently seeking (on and off) counseling via my university for the second year in a row (the counseling center is included in my tuition anyway, so I'm utilizing my resources). My last really bad lapse was in May when things got out of control when a friend decided to end her life. I still struggle with the thoughts of my disorder, but the actions are slowly phasing themselves out of the picture...hopefully for good.0
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EDNOS, but mostly anorexia. I just never got to a BMI of below 17.5, so I technically didn't "meet the criteria." I think that the fact that there are weight requirements to be considered anorexic is ridiculous. I was anorexic for 2 years and never ate anywhere near a healthy amount. I usually only ate 1 light meal a day and the occasional snack. I'd end up eating around 500 calories a day and I was miserable. It wasn't even that I was hungry because I guess after eating so little for so long you get used to it. But I was just unhappy and tired and cranky. I rarely laughed and lost a lot of friends because I'd rather sit at home not eat and think about calories all day than go out with friends where there might be food. I still fall back into my old ways occasionally and probably don't eat like a normal person, but I'm working on it. It's an uphill battle but is sosososososososo worth it.
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I've suffered with both anorexia and bulimia since I was 15 years old. I'm in the process of recovery, and can give and would love to receive motivation and support from those who understand. Please feel free to message or add me : )0
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Food and I have a love-hate relationship mostly because my body and mind have a hate-hate relationship. I first remember "dieting" at the age of 11 by writing down what I ate, what exercise I did, and how much I weighed. I've always been petite so it was easy to do, people expect me to be tiny. I responded most to stress, thinking if I could just reach X weight my life would get better. I think my lowest was 90 lbs when I was 18, I'm 5'2. Currently I'm not focusing on weight, but nutrition, consuming the right nutrients in the right quantities and lowering my body fat, gaining muscle. I want to be strong, not necessarily skinny, even though I have a small body type. I believe it is a lifelong struggle and I empathize with everyone going through a similar process.0
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EDNOS, but mostly anorexia. I just never got to a BMI of below 17.5, so I technically didn't "meet the criteria." I think that the fact that there are weight requirements to be considered anorexic is ridiculous. I was anorexic for 2 years and never ate anywhere near a healthy amount. I usually only ate 1 light meal a day and the occasional snack. I'd end up eating around 500 calories a day and I was miserable. It wasn't even that I was hungry because I guess after eating so little for so long you get used to it. But I was just unhappy and tired and cranky. I rarely laughed and lost a lot of friends because I'd rather sit at home not eat and think about calories all day than go out with friends where there might be food. I still fall back into my old ways occasionally and probably don't eat like a normal person, but I'm working on it. It's an uphill battle but is sosososososososo worth it.
Same with me, the reason I was diagnosed with ednos is because my BMI is healthy.0 -
recovered with the occasional battle after 12 years of active cycle with anorexia and bulimia two long bouts with professional help, been 5 years at a healthy weight but battles always crop up when something else brings me down, I'm definitely winning the war but I know alot about nutrition and none of it helps me keep my head programmed with how to eat 'normal'
I'm not kind in my support to people are active I will share my insight but no details of what/how, i will not support someone actively in the hold of an ED unless they are trying to recover and I will then aid where I can especially after doing some buddy work with someone my last therapist was struggling with.
I do though have to self preserve and others dangerous habits can still 'invade' my head so to speak and hence why I can't support someone that is not acknowledging and trying to recover.0 -
In recovery from EDNOS making good progress! 0
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In recovery again for EDNOS, was in recovery two years ago and relapsed. Having many ups and downs right now, but trying my best!0
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Yikes!I want to recover from anorexia, but it just keeps getting worse. Now I'm 5'3" and 89 pounds.
Think of the future you who cant have kids and has to take hormone replacement!
Eat!
BTW I love girls with curves!
=D0 -
BTW if anyone needs numbers ran for gaining weight I can help.
Just let me know via PM since I can see those with the iPod!
I can get you gaining up to 6-12lbs a year the healthy way.
Hugs!
The healthy way means lean massing!0 -
I'm in recovery. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa in 6th grade but last year it was changed to EDNOS as I had gained some weight back from developing some bulimic tendencies.0
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first off, to the OP - putting yourself out there is tough. glad to see you recognize the need to recover and are willing to put in the work it takes to do so!
i was diagnosed with anorexia at 15 years old. when i went to the doctor, at my height of 5'7", i weighed about 100 lbs. i didn't take the step toward recovery until years later, at about 21. i remember guzzling gallons of water to "feel full", exercising for four hours a day (or more). i had pretty severe bruising on my ribs and hips, because i had no padding to protect me from the simplest of things - sitting down in a chair, or even lying on the bed. one morning, i just looked at myself in the mirror, having drank so much water that i felt lightheaded and was getting nosebleeds, and said "this HAS to stop." at the time, i weighed about 93 lbs.
having been in recovery and more or less recovered, i can say the road isn't an easy one. i still struggle with balancing "normal" eating and exercise.
you have to fight that voice in your head each and every day.
but i'm here to support you! and there'll be lots of others on your side, as well.0 -
Trying to recover from EDNOS before I get rediagnosed as anorexic. Had anorexia when I was a kid too. There are at least 3 groups on here supporting ED sufferers and recoverers.0
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I suffered from bulimia. It started when I went away to college, and lasted about 4-5 years. I have gotten so good at it that I didn't need to stick anything into my mouth in order to induce vomiting. I knew all along that it wasn't healthy, that it was going to ruin my teeth, but my wake-up call came when each time I made myself vomit, I would vomit a good amount of blood. And I stopped. Sort of cold turkey, if you will. I haven't done it in 5 years or so, but the urge is there every time I feel like I've overeaten. I am proud of myself because I have overcome it on my own.0
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When in my late teens/early twenties I was bulimic. Prior to and since then I deal with binge eating and just plain overeating, yet all my life lived in denial about all of it. I no longer purge, but have to force myself not too because the thought is ALWAYS there. Funny I read this post today because I just last night contacted a 12-step recovery program that I will be starting next week.0
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anorexia. not exactly recovering, though. add me if you wish. it's nice to have friends on here who understand.0
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